Rant On Anxiety

[Deleted member 12723]

I have had it. I am so sick and tired of getting it every single morning. I have to take anxiety medication to knock it down. I am so weary of having this anxiety. I want to wake up and feel glad to greet the day.

I did not used to be this way. I have had success in overcoming a driving phobia. I posted and I drove. I got responses and they helped me to be able to drive.

I wake up, and I dread the day. I do not want to wake up, often I will lie there and go back to sleep until seven thirty am. Then I get up. I say good morning to my husband and kiss him. I have to make the bed, give the cat and dog their food and water, unlock the back door, unplug my laptop and put it away, take my pills, and get me some coffee.

I try to go without the anxiety medication. But I break down and end up taking it. I do not know if a memory is trying to surface or not. Some mornings it is worse than others.

I drink my coffee and go on the forum and watch the news. My husband eats breakfast and brushes his teeth and takes a shower.

While he is in the shower I do my morning chores. Some mornings it is easie than others. I love how the anxiety medication feels. It is non addictive. I am glad for that.

I get ready after my husband is out of the shower. I do the things I need to do during the day. I usually do not have the anxiety in the afternoon and evening. Sometimes that is why I stay up late, because I do not have the anxiety.

I need to practice meditation and will look for guided imagery on the computer today.

Does anyone have success in talking themselves down from anxiety. I am pretty desperate. I hate and loathe anxiety. I had such good luck with overcoming the driving phobia.

Any tips or advice will be most welcome. I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired.

 

[Zef]

One thing that has helped me with bad anxiety has been to finish every thought in my head with the words, "for now."

For example, "This is almost unbearable. . .for now." These seem to be very powerful words for me because they remind me that the way I am feeling and thinking will not last forever. . .and that seems to help me endure the bad times more successfully.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thank you Zef, that is an excellent idea. It does pass away. For now puts it into its proper perspective. I am grateful to you. I think the things we tell ourselves has alot of power. It creates changes.

That is how I overcame driving phobia. Because of the way I grew up, no one to talk to who could explain things to me alot of things just do not occur to me. But how amaziing that words like this can make such a huge differencee. Thanks again, I really appreciate it alot.

 

[bright_morning]

I can so relate to this, but for me the anxiety is late morning/afternoon. I wake up so groggy and beat up feeling lately that I can't even be anxious, I'm too tired.

What has been working for anxiety for me is remembering how its possible to feel calm. I use medical marijuana as my anxiety medication, and it calms me down immensely. I try a few times each week to go without it and focus on the "possibility of feeling calm" by remembering how I felt when I was high and focusing on other things.

Its actually helping, at least in the sense that for some reason remembering that calm automatically sets me breathing correctly. Its been working... today is bad, but 2 weeks ago I had more good days than bad in a week. That's damn nigh a miracle for me.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thank you for the response. I think I can focus on remembering how I feel when I am calm and focusing on accepting the anxiety for now. This is 2 great ideas. I have something practical I can focus on and pay attention to now. Better than just hating it and feeling like a victim. I think that is what I hate about the anxiety the most. Feeling like its victim. Feeling helpless and powerless to change it.

So thank you very much.

 

[nimkekaa]

I wake up, and I dread the day. I do not want to wake up, often I will lie there and go back to sleep until seven thirty am. Then I get up. I say good morning to my husband and kiss him. I have to make the bed, give the cat and dog their food and water, unlock the back door, unplug my laptop and put it away, take my pills, and get me some coffee.

When I read this I just wondered if you could do something for just YOU first thing in the morning.

Most of the things listed above are chores or things to take care of. What if you woke up and did something nice for yourself first. Say have a small chocolate beside your bed and a good book? Anything really that you would look forward to.

Just the thought of getting up and doing chores can make me roll over and go back to sleep.

Is there a small indulgence that you could have first thing in the morning? You deserve it. Maybe night time is better because you have everything taken care of and tucked way for the night and you can relax and do things for you.

I just wondered because that is very much the way I am. After everyone is in bed and things are caught up I can relax and enjoy some me time. The phone doesn't ring at night and there is peace.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

This is going to sound strange but I have thought of this too. I have thought I need to get up and just have some coffee. I could do the chores later. Yes you are right. I will try this tommorow and I will notice if it helps. I did not used to do these things. I do not know how I got in the habit of doing these things before I really woke up. I am in the mode of getting things done.

But it has not been a good thing for me. I will try that tommorow. I will have coffee first. Thanks for bringing it up and noticing it. I need to pay attention to my thoughts better. I used to get up and have coffee, and journal. I took as long as I wanted to. Sometimes I would go for hours. Thanks again. I really appreciate your taking the time to respond.

 

[maddog]

A really, really good thread, and very relevant for me right now. Struggling terribly with anxiety attacks that have escalated suddenly and can strike at any random time, and at the moment they're proving to be quite dabilitating.

Love the suggestions put forward so far. Mental imagery and focusing on constructive, soothing and moderate (rather than extreme/catastrophic) thoughts and feelings is really powerful stuff, but takes a degree of self control and rationality that I can lose quickly if the anxiety has escalated before I've really taken hold of it. In other words, there is a window of opportunity that allows me to intervene mentally, and if I can grab hold of it and employ techniques such as those listed here, I can often keep the anxiety level to a dull roar. If not... well, if not, the results aren't as good.

Something I've found really powerful when I'm struggling to make the constructive thoughts stronger than the destructive feelings is to literally imagine a trusted safe person talking me through the coping strategies and reciting positive statements and healthy cognitions to me. For some reason it is much more meaningful for me to imagine it in someone else's persona rather than my own, almost as if that person was there with me. Then again, I do have someone who has such a calming effect on me and it doubtless wouldn't work as well if I didn't, but if you do, this can be very useful.

I agree with the suggestion for a "you" reward somewhere in the midst of the morning chores. Anything to look forward to and to give yourself some pleasure can break the downward spiral if you anticipate and focus on it. Perhaps even just breaking that morning routine somehow, to the extent that you can, may help, almost like just rewiring what has become a negative circuit.

I know you're struggling hard with this Gizmo, and know that we're all on side with you in every way we can be. Thanks for posing such a great and practical question.

Maddog

 

[Whitneys story]

((((((((((Gizmo)))))))))) I am so glad you posted your question! I have been worrying about you. Anxiety is horrible and also my biggest problem. Some outstanding suggestions from all. I try to start every day with a positive thought. Then I review my schedule. Which seems to want to flood my brain daily. I am learning to slow this down by sorting down to smaller groups. You are the most important person of the schedule. Rather than by the day, spread them out a few days. It will allow you more flexibility. Write down your plan and then you can move things when needed. You have a reminder on paper so you are not straining to remember. Allow yourself to accept your meds are helping and communicate with your Dr. PS Great job on driving. Meditation is an excellent tool as well. More Hugs Whitney

 

[The Albatross]

Giz, for me it took/takes some self discipline, practice, and a decision.

I start my day with some inspirational reading. Initially before my feet ever hit the floor... now I get emails to my 'puter. I did a self assessment on my anxiety, and found that for myself, I was still pretty angry and resentful after my last traumatic break. I made the decision that the people in my life were basically "good willed people" though flawed (like I am) and also that I could change the feelings as I went about my day (instead of waiting for the feeling to change). It takes practice, patience, persistence, and perserverance (and for me prayer, but for secular people that is optional). But gradually through consistency, my anxiousness has decreased and my starting/waking place improved.

You can "talk back" to anxiety you know. You can take over the "conversation" and I do that as well. If I feel the feelings, I can acknowledge them but I turn the conversation to "Why so downcast O my soul?" It is my personal way of learning emotional regulating I guess.

If you are feeling frustration, this is a crossroads point and perhaps a cue that you can initiate change. Maybe when you wake up, you can give yourself permission to read something inspirational and then allow yourself to "choose" whether you'd like to go back to sleep or not. Something fundamentally shifted for me when I began "choosing" and allowing myself the luxury of a choice ... rather than focusing on what I was feeling on waking.

I can relate to wanting to wake with something other than anxiety. I lived it for a long time... and I can tell you that slowly, barely perceptably (sp?) change can and does occur. The circumstances of my life didn't change... I did.

Another thing that can be helpful is a mood assessment a time of self reflection (inventory) at the end of each day. I did that for a time, as part of my daily practice and was able to see first hand, that my mind had a way of focusing on the unsatisfying aspects of my day to day life and magnified them a bit. Though once my day started, satisfying or pleasant things happened to me (be them large or small) it wasn't until I jotted down my feelings for a month every day that I was able to realize that my anxiety was largely not as constant as I thought it was. If you find you are stuck in a feeling, there are tools to get you unstuck. Find them and learn them... bring them into your day to day living.

I was teaching a child to swim and he was having a really really bad day. I remarked that they just might want to reschedule the class until he was feeling better. But his mother said, to her son, "Okay now. You need to make a decision. You love swimming class. You have had a pretty bad day... all day. How long are you going to let this feeling ruin your day? If you want to swim, then the time for being upset is past and you can now have the lesson and enjoy it."

After the lesson when I remarked on how well her son switched and enjoyed the lesson, she told me her parenting technique. She was very frank with her children about feelings and that they were valid, but the importance of not letting your life be dominated by them indeffinitely. She said, I don't feel like working, but I work. I don't feel like doing laundry but I do laundry. I don't feel like various things... but I do them because feelings won't stop me from doing my responsibilities or rob me from pleasurable times with my family. I stood there blinking and thought to myself... what a great approach to parenting. It is okay to feel the feeling, but it is a choice as to whether or not I stay there. It really rang a bell for me and it was totally alien to my bio family. I dug in on myself and allowed and acknowledged my starting point but determined and made a choice to do things anyway and not to let it dominate or color the rest of my day. After a good deal of practice, it didn't. It changed. It became okay. I practiced okay. I told someone today that "okay is a perfectly acceptable place to be". It is a starting point only.

I hope there's something in all this jabber that helps you today Giz.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thank you MD. I appreciate you taking the time to respond to me. I am sorry you are having anxiety attacks. I am glad you can soothe yourself by having a visualization of someone calmning you down. I will remember that one, the anxiety has really been a problem for me.

Thank you Whitney for your hugs and good suggestions. I really appreciate them alot.

Thank you Alby, it is a good idea that you had of feeding your mind the inspirational guidance.

You guys had some really helpful things to say. I am so glad you responded. I really needed the support and wisdom you had to offer. I will have to experiment. For today I simply made a choice.

I chose to wake up and just drink coffee. I have not done my chores yet. I am still waking up. I washed my face, I unplugged the laptop so I could use it, and I gave the animals some water. I have not had the anxiety. I feel so good. I felt some anxiety when I first got up. I was thinking that I was not going to do the chores. But as I have had coffee, and just relaxed, the anxiety went away.

I am still drinking coffee and waking up. I feel good. I have not had my medicene yet. I will take it later when I am done with my coffee. I cannot believe the difference. I am so glad. I needed to just wake up. I needed to cut me some slack and not be so hard on me.

I am feeling better. I am grateful for feeling better. I am amazed at the difference it made to give myself permission to just wake up. I get nervous when I think about doing the chores. I will have to get used to this schedule. I could use something inspirational to read as I wake up. I am sorry you all struggle with anxiety too.

I am doing so much better. I cannot believe what a big difference this has made. I actually feel so much better. I cannot believe it was something so simple. I will have to pay attention to other things like this. I have a choice. I can try different things.

Thanks again guys. I really appreciate the help and support. I think I will be ok. I am actually feeling some anxiety now. It has to do with the chores. I am anxious to get them over with. I need to relax. I need to relax.

Today is a new day. I slowly woke up this morning. I am feeling antsy. It is about doing the chores. I will have to journal about this and figure out what the heck is going on. I will be relaxed. I will overcome the anxiety. I did it before I can do it again. I will use this as a journal and overcome it. It helped me to overcome the driving phobia.

I think I had a good start today.

I am still drinking

 

[p-no]

Gizmo,

Just wanted to say that I am grateful that you get up ever day and through your anxiety to come here. Your posts always help me, even the likes, really.

One thing I learned and that helped me when in therapy the first time was this:

Write down whole sentences in your style, the way you would say them, that are affirmative against the cause of your anxiety (sorry, I'm sure my English is lacking). To give you an example: Back then I was in therapy for anxiety because I thought I'd faint any second. Just to make the extent clear: At the end of it, right before I decided to get myself admitted to a psychosomatic hospital, I could not stand up from a chair and go to another room in the very same apartment -- I would sweat, my heart would race, my breathing would be all flat, and I would be terrified as if someone where behind me with a knife ready to kill me. Not exaggerating here.

So, as a sentence, I would write down: These symptoms (heart racing, shaking, etc.) are part of my anxiety and normal as such. You are not going to faint. These symptoms will pass 100%.

I took a sheet with ten sentences with me in my wallet wherever I went. It was part of my therapy to start going outside again (when I was stabilized); at first just to the next corner, then to the next intersection, etc. Whenever I had an anxiety attack (all the time!), I would take out that sheet and read the sentences to me. If I had not had that sheet, I would not have been able to talk me out of the anxiety, because I was so, well, terrified rather than anxious really, that I would not have been able to even think straight enough to get to word two of a 15 word-phrase! I could "save an alarm" into my processes though that went woo woo woo when anxiety hit me and after a while I would automatically take out that sheet and read it.

I got out of anxiety and I have never had any attacks since my first therapy (that hospital plus once a week for three years). I am sure I would have them, if I had not learned to make that alarm go off as early as I feel anxiety coming; then I will apply all I learned then and it never comes to an attack; I hardly feel anxious when the measures I learned take effect.

It is possible to get better and well and through anxiety! :)