Received 8th Emdr Session Yesterday Afternoon

[Deleted member 37085]

This is first post in a thread I have ever created - so please bear with me. Brain is numb and definitely in a frozen state - having trouble thinking and formulating lucid clear and concise thoughts and even making basic decisions due to memory not working well at all following today's EMDR 8th session. Has anyone ever had this happen post EMDR session where brain feels like it's sitting in a vat of formaldehyde (abnormal disconnected brain from processing thoughts, feelings, and having trouble making basic executive decisions) geez!

Also, after sharing that child molester (began in '96 having vivid lucid horrifying nightmares of the child molester impeding my breathing after gastro raped me) child molester repeatedly held his hands on my little girl stomach to point I could not get my breath, then he would let up on amount of pressure to where I could only get a short little breath, then sexual predator my mom married would repeat this horrible scary behavior over and over.

Then on way home from EMDR appointment, my stomach in area where molester tortured me started hurting just a little, then a little more, and then 1-10 pain scale - pain was at a 6-7, then all the way up to 8-9. During talk with friend earlier this evening I started to feel a strong correlation between the EMDR session (my remembering again the exasperating and exhausting '96 'suffocation repetitive nightmares) and my stomach pain.

Has anyone ever had anything like this occur (I know of one person who has) does this make sense? Thank you so much for any help you all may be willing to give me. I feel like my brain has died, need to sleep now. I hope I am not losing my mind, what's left of it. JadesJewel

 

[ThisLifeIsBeautiful]

This is first post in a thread I have ever created - so please bear with me. Brain is numb and defin...

I am about to fall asleep so this may be short but I wanted to reply to you. Having physical manifestations that mimic what happened during trauma after EMDR sessions is normal. I have had similar experiences. Not to that level of pain though. I do however think that it is related and that it will pass. I don't know if your therapist told you this but even between sessions you continue processing. Sleep is one of the best things you can do. The nightmares are totally normal too. I am super struggling with that myself right now. Very vivid and very realistic. I wake up some days sobbing and noises coming out of my throat that I've never heard before. Nightmares are actually a way for your body to process the trauma though. Once you get through them it's like the memories filed away. Right now the trauma is floating in the middle of your brain. Ever present. Once you get through this it's going to be filed away in one of those hemispheres and it won't feel so real and so much emotion won't be triggered. . If you want to direct message me or send me a conversation or whatever it's called please feel free also typically when you're going through this kind of therapy if something feels like it's really not right most therapist would want you to reach out to them. If you're close by maybe ur T can do another session and help you get through some of this quicker. Stuff like that, I know my therapist wants to know even if I don't have an appointment that day. I wish you all the best.

 

[SophiaWisdom]

I am about to fall asleep so this may be short but I wanted to reply to you. Having physica...

This is so helpful to me - I'm always so nervous esp. after reading the forums lol but I always bring my fears to my T.

@JadesJewel thanks for sharing this so much! I highly recommend DMing @ThisLifeIsBeautiful - she's great to talk to and I'm glad we both got to joint the forums at the same time - feels like cohorts :P

Oh Jades my heart goes to you and I admire you for going through this now. Hope you have great sleep! Your mind is healing.

 

[Soekie]

Hey Jades,

EMDR does work between sessions as well. And as for the 'brain'-issue, I'm going through the same phase at the moment.

I started my first EMDR-session with my last relationship, where my partner hurt my physically, which was about 2 years ago. The next 3 days I felt sick, easily crying, not able to think clearly, and after about 10 days I had the first vivid dream. Not scary, just vivid and the dream could have been "real".

As I 'm being very honest with my T, I talked about another ex who've used me in a sexual way, over 10 years ago. My T dropped the "rape"-word and I completely flipped. I always refused (and I still refuse) to use that word, because it makes it harder for me to deal with. So, for years I took care of that wound myself and thought I managed... until now. I refused an EMDR-session last time. Afraid to freak out recalling the emotions and images of the sexual abuse. She respected that, but said that we had to continue soon, as EMDR was clearly starting to re-open that wound.

And so, last week, it completely took me by surprise. I left work because I felt "empty and lost". Not sad, just empty and lost. I went home and things got worse. Felt sick to the stomach, images flashing by and negative thoughts about myself. I threw up later that night. I felt worse physically, the next day. Later on, the emotions came back and I 'd start crying for "no reason". Went to my GP who was very understanding. I have another appointment with my GP tonight and I won't go back to work until next Monday.

Today is the first day I woke up and wanting to have something for breakfast, so that's an improvement. After 6 days of not even wanting to eat because my stomach was "blocked". And when I ate something, I felt awful afterwards, promising myself not to eat the next day.

But yeah, I feel a bit better now, thanks to a good night sleep. I try to stay busy, which is challenging. I started well this morning, but after one hour, I sat down and thinking "geesh, it's only 10.30 am, it's going to be a loooooong day". Then again, I don't want to be to harsh for myself and will crawl in the couch after this, put a film on and probably fall asleep...

I know that I will get through these intense months. I know will feel stronger and free afterwards. I now trust on the thought that I need to go through EMDR and I will survive. And so will you!

Take care!