Recent Change In Mindset And Emotional Relapse

[ShadowSolace]

Hello, Forum. A few of you may know me as the girl with the sleeping problems. Thank you to those who replied to my thread and messaged me with suggestions. Now, I have something new to discuss with anyone here willing to listen. Tuesday of last week, I had a parent-teacher conference with my mother, several of my teachers, and my guidance counselor. It went pretty well. The teachers spoke to us about what I'm doing right/wrong and what I
could do to improve my grades. Since middle school [I'm now a senior] I've had issues with bullying, one instance of assault, and things of that nature. So, naturally, I was a bit nervous before and during the meeting and I am somewhat cautious during the school day more often than not.

Now that I've given background, let me address the problem. Since Tuesday I've been acting/feeling..ahem.. different. Like something inside of me just snapped. I'm talking textbook signs of depression. This isn't new to me because sometimes due to my PTSD I will have these week or two long phases of being very out of it, withdrawn, and sullen. I've been trying to stay strong but something deep inside of me is trying to come out that I know I need to hold back. I'm not thinking clearly and I don't know what to do. My mother has already called and booked a psychiatrist for me and I have friends that are supportive, but I need feedback from somebody that probably goes through the same thing.

 

[void]

I have.
Accept the help that is available.
You were likely triggered and then began to spiral, this is common for us.

the something trying to come out~~~let it out in therapy
let the T help you sort it all out then your thinking can clear

you'll be OK:)

keep us posted

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Is it like your stress cup overflowed and then you snapped and now you're feeling depressed?

 

[ShadowSolace]

Yes, Solara. Something like that. Due to a recent move, I went from an A-B student, to getting C's and D's, believe it or not. Ive been very distraught because I can't learn anything since the teaching methods/curriculum did a friggen' 180, among other things. I'm just very burnt out. I have my old shrink to call if I need someone to talk to that I'm on very good terms with.

Void, thank you as well for the support. I will certainly keep you guys posted.

I have made very loving friends since my transition in August who support and take care of me, and I do the same for them and I come here so I have extra means of support. I also like helping people out and giving them insight.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

It sounds similar to what I go through, but I don't call mine depression, I call it numbness. I see what others deal with in their depression and its a bit different for me. But, yes, when my stress cup overflows, my system literally shuts down and says "ENOUGH" so all of my feeling and emotion just go out the door.

 

[ShadowSolace]

Hello everyone. I wanted you guys to know that I'm slowly but surely drawing out of this. I had a lot on my mind which I was able to express to a couple of friends as well as my parents. My Christmas Break is starting Friday, and I'm going to have two weeks to relax and just enjoy myself. Thank you for the support, and keep in mind that if any of you need anything please feel free to message me.

 

[ShadowSolace]

Im not sure as to why this has been happening to me so often in the past few months.

I'm now hitting another low point after spending a couple of weeks in a happy/stable point. I'm not getting much sleep, I'm not eating very much, and I'm just generally pushing myself too far both mentally and physically.
I want this to stop happening, or atleast not as often. I know thats not very realistic considering I probably have C-PTSD which could last the rest of my life.

I need advice, input, something, please. I'm exhausted :( </3