Recognising The Small Positives

[Deleted member 10686]

This is reallllly big for me... I actually made a FRIEND. Like an actual friend, that lives in the same city, that I can sometimes see in person! It feels really weird, to be honest, because I am not used to being social. But I actually like her as a person, and its so great to have a conversation with someone when sometimes i think that i've forgotten how.
OH. And also... She hugged me twice today. and I let her. My biggest issue is with men hugging me... so I definitely see why this was easier, but still a bit akward.

 

[amethist]

Hubby has completed his set challenge of going 4 times, before his next meeting with his CPN. This was set last week and had to be done before the 11th of January.

2 he had no choice about, 1 voluntarily and on his own, and the last was yesterday, when I needed him to meet me half way home from the local train station. I had done too much shopping to carry all the way on my own. :rolleyes:

We is going out again this afternoon, to view a car. Then on Wednesday morning with my daughter. Plus the next sunny'ish morning he is taking me up across the fields, then back for coffee at the local coffee shop.

 

[Sterre]

Today I woke up, and the first thought in my mind was: I am okay!

After all the losses I had to process in this month, I could easely become depressed again. Instead of becoming depressed I deal with them, and try to take my responisbility for the losses.

To think of myself as being an OKAY person is really strange and new to me.
I am okay! With all my flaws, with all my personality traits, I am okay!
I have the right to exist, to be me.
I am not rotten to the core, like I always think and feel. I am human, I do my best, and therefor I am okay.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

The smell and taste of fresh coffee in the mornings! :)

While I was in the hospital that was a big deal, to get coffee. It made our day.

 

[MusicLover]

Lately I have had a very rough time, up to the point where it has been hard to get out of bed and get ready for the day, today was another one of those days. I opened my eyes, saw it was dark and gloomy and just wanted to lay in bed and watch Juno again (great movie by the way).

My friend S texted me at about 8:30 to make sure I was still good to go for Yoga. I told her sure and made myself get out of bed and get ready. Now S nor I have taken Bikram Yoga in a while (yoga in a hot room) but I used to on a regular basis. I showed up and everyone was so friendly. I went to class and even though I didn't do much Yoga, mostly just layed there and relaxed while I sweat I felt good. After class I went into the dressing room and a couple of girls introduced themselves and said how their first few times were hard to but they were glad to have us in class. That made me feel pretty good.

Then I went to therapy right after. That went pretty good. I started EMDR today and it really wasnt to bad, granted I JUST got done but it wasnt too difficult for me today.

My best (gay) guy friend then texted me and wants me to go to a dart league with him tonight. I was hesitant but now as it is getting closer I am kinda excited to go and meet some new people. I also just told my friend about my therapy and everything, he is super supportive. I was surprised how supportive he was.

I just thought I would document today cause I don't have many days like this and I thought I would be crying all day today considering its Valentine's Day and such but it turned out to be a real nice day.
-A

<Extra paragraph breaks inserted for readability >

 

[Sethe]

I did something different today and I survived. I wrote about it in my diary. I did something I haven't done in years. I used to get punished for it a lot as a kid. I also started to have a panic attack, but it subsided.

I know I don't ask for hugs, but could I get one? :barefoot:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I know I don't ask for hugs, but could I get one? :barefoot:

Here is a big hug!:)

<Edited - fixed quote>

 

[unalaa]

<<<<BIG HUGS FOR SETHE!!! :)>>>>

I sometimes have had panic attacks after I write - not quite the same, i know. But I've gotten better at feeling it coming and dealing with it right then so it doesn't happen as much. Hopefully it will get better for you, too.

 

[Zef]

I saw a friend perform and thought it could be a fun and healthy thing for me to try taking an improvisational comedy class. After talking to t and some supporters, everyone thought it would be a good idea.

So, first class was Saturday and I almost chickened out, but was able to get out the door.

The first class was focused on building connections with your classmates. Since I'm a huge isolater, it was extremely difficult to go through the exercises, especially because I thought it was an hour-long class and it turned out to be two hours.

Driving home after the class, though, I felt really good. I am already dreading going to the second class next Saturday, but am hoping I'll be able to push through it.

 

[The Albatross]

Way to go Zef! Focus on how you felt after the class, on the drive home. That good feeling. Sometimes temporary uncomfortability is worth a sense of satisfaction. Less dread, and more focus on the coping you need to be "present" in the class and get the reward/prize: The sense of accomplishment and self worth for having overcome some temporary anxiety. :tup:

 

[Hopeful+Healing]

Because of my intense shame, and because I want to protect her...I never talk to my partner about the sexual abuse I experienced as a child. She only knows that my father abused me. Well today I talked about what I have been dealing with in therapy lately. No graphic details, but I talked about a certain memory I had been dealing with. She was wonderful, stroked my back, was there for me. The moment lasted just a few minutes and then I felt she couldn't really be "present" for me as much and she changed the subject. I understand it's hard for her.

But for me to talk about it -- to feel I deserve to be able to talk about what's going on for me -- that is HUGE!!

-Susan



I originally posted this under "Accomplishments" but a moderator moved it. Maybe I should have said that in 45 years since the incest happened, this is the first time I have been able to speak about it in any detail to someone other than a therapist. To me that is quite an Accomplisment - not just a "Small Positive." Many incest survivors experience so much shame they have trouble talking about what happened even to a therapist. Please don't minimize what for me is one of the biggest accompliments in my healing journey. I feel very hurt.

-Susan

<Merged posts and removed self-quote>

 

[goingonhope]

My body only hurts bad with fatigue all day, while it could always hurt worse.