Recognising The Small Positives

[drgnfl2078]

Today I got a text from a family member telling me of someone whose farm cat, who just had kittens 12 days ago, got attacked by a dog and was killed. I'm that kid that brought sick animals home since I was small enough for the animal to actually bring me home instead...so the reaction I wanted to give was...bring them over I'll take care of them. (nothing like waking up every 3-4 hours/coming home from work every day to bottle feed 5 babies)...which I have and would do again...but I currently have my own compliment of dogs (3) and 2 other foster kids whom are too old to be at my house, which is causing me some stress.

WARNING: SOAP BOX COMPLAINING...
I love fostering...most days anyways. What I don't like about it is that I'm always over capacity (damn people whom are irresponsible with animals)...which in itself doesn't stress me as much as dealing with the neighbors. One person complained about barking one day (rather than just coming and telling me so I could swap fosters or figure something out...but no people are so scared of conflict the create such problems for others when a simple 'hey this is bugging me' would have worked. sorry soap box) Don't get me wrong...I understand some people don't like/scared of dogs...and that's fine, but I have a fence. You know for so long my back yard has been my happy place...my scantuary...where I want to be alone with my dogs where I am comfortable, where I went to cry when I needed to. Since that person complained I had to go door to door...explain I am a foster for a rescue group and not some sort of hoarder...that I am not only versed in animal behavor I actually have a degree in veterinary technology and take often sick animals and turn them to healthy. I know that really has nothing to do with the fact of the matter...but it makes me doubt myself and feel inadaquate. Anyways so now all my neighbors feel the need to talk to me...or random strange men (not even kidding this has happened twice-almost called the cops) stop by my yard and talk to me about my fosters. Which my god I do enjoy...I spend every saturday with them at pet adoption and taking phone calls most nights but damn it sometimes I want to be alone in my own yard!!!!! (I am getting a privacy fence next week but that can't come soon enough!!) The part that bothers me most is the intrusion on my life by that happening. I mean I don't complain because my neighbors are compulsive and mow their lawns twice a day. Or that the neighbor kids (don't get me wrong I love kids...but I don't have any and I'm not really sure what the heck to do with them) are always talking to me. I need a hobby farm with no neighbors...

Ugh...trying to get off the soap box. Anyways...my huge accomplishment today was not saying here let me do it, I'll take the kittens and nurse them back to health, for you but saying okay this is what you should do to take care of them. By doing that I made them take responsibility and (reduced my stress load).

 

[amethist]

I am so proud of my husband today, he spent the best part of 4 hours in and out doing some gardening.

I cut the front and back hedges while he cut the lawn and strimmed the edges. He then went back out into our front garden "On His Own", to finish off strimming the edges of it, he has not done this for 4 years now. He has not had the confidence to go out into the front on his own before now, since his accident.

He knew I was in the kitchen and could see what he was doing, but he did it on his own.

I wonder if this is because I said yesterday, that the next fine morning we got, we would be doing this. Possibly also because I said "I did not give a s### whether he liked gardening or not, he had to put some focus into something, or he would end up being a cabbage sat in a chair for the rest of his life. Not knowing who I was or what planet he was born on".

If he wants to be able to have a full sized garage and be able to work in it on his own, then this is where he starts.

Not something I would advise anyone to do unless you know your partner extremely well. But I do do some things that are a bit off the wall to get him motivated.

It was rather warm and he kept his jumper on all the time. When I asked why he did not take it off if he was getting too warm, he refused, saying it was his security, and this jumper is the only one that gives him that. I suggested I make him another one exactly the same, but he said it would not work, this is the only one that will. He can wear it until it drops to bits if this is the effect it has. :)

Best part was, he enjoyed every second of it. :tup: :D

 

[Tinyflame]

(((((amethist))))
:)

 

[goingonhope]

Yesterday the (dental assistant :oops:) suddenly accidentally vaccumed up my uvula. :D No kidding! It's pretty funny now. I'm pretty cooperative anyhow and certainly didn't make a big deal of it afterwards.

Still I thanked dentist and assistant upon leaving (for services rendered - she put the effort forth to get that little piece of metal, but Oops slipped). (lol) :roflmao:

The Positives are these:

My uvula has been isolated alone back there for sometime now without its tonsil companions and it needed some contact. :p

It caught me by such surprise and without my glasses (so I couldn't see), and yet I only momentarily lost touch with where I was and what just happened.:O_o:

And, it instantly brought me to a split-second flashback, followed by the abuse memory and seeing that abuser and yet I did amazingly well with self-control and calming myself and without obvious tears nor any lasting interruption. ......(only moments of interruption) ,,, and followed by me managing very well.:tup:

 

[amethist]

Tonight is the second night in a row, our 6 year old granddaughter has stayed with us.

I picked her up yesterday, and she was going to go home today, but at my suggestion, he decided he would like her to stay another night. So he asked her this morning if she would like to stay tonight as well. She beamed at him, saying "Thank you granddad, I will be good if i can". How can you refuse with a reply like that.

For the last few years, one night has all hubby has been able to manage, before it all became too much for him. It is now beginning to over whelm him a bit, she is going home in the morning, and he has said it is worth him being a bit wobbly for a day or so after.

This may not happen often, but it has been nice for me too, as I have felt I have rushed around less, being 2 days instead of the usual 1.

 

[missd84]

I know this isn't much of a victory but hey it's the small things that really can make a big difference. I've been struggling with my sleep all year. I've tried various relaxation techniques, prescription meds, and finally some herbal supplements. I've had mixed results with all of them and had lost all hope in ever getting a good night's sleep. I am finally making progress. In fact, last night I was so exhausted, I slept 12 hours without waking up and zero nightmares!

 

[Anglesachse]

I was up at 0500 this morning, sorting stuff out for my nipper and getting stuff ready for the wife, when I sat down to reply to answers on a post I made on the Combat PTSD site. Nice and long, and then promtly hit the wrong button and deleted it all :mad:

You know the feeling "should have stayed in bed" but to calm myself down i`ve put the kettle on to have a Tee. Nothing better than a brew to sort the day out. Yes I know how typical stereotype English that is.:cool:

So then I get myself sorted to go to work and open my shop. And hey, today is Market day, so I`ll may be buy something for the day ahead. Now it`s very rare I go out the house these days without wearing a "Help for Hereos" top. Anyway, there`s me on the Market when this Old guy see`s me. You can see he`s trying to read the top i`m wearing, and he start laughing??? and mumbling away to himself what idiots we are and that there not hereos.

You know the sort of old guy. Not old enough to have witnessed WW2 himself, but old enough to think he has! Bearing in mind that the German Army did not see Active service between WW2 and Kosovo in the 1990`s. So this guy is from an age where he has not seen, heard, or witnessed a war of anysorts.

I`m glad and damn proud that I didn`t loose control and thump him. and boy did I want to! But damn I`m p*ss*d off right now. Just one waste of space and the whole day is screwed

But hey, I may be p*ss*d off but I just walked away. My Therapist is gonna be so chuffed :tup:

M too :unsure:​

 

[Doc]

I would have tore him a new A hole. A marine that saved my life after I was run over fighting two criminals on the interstate told him he should have let me die because was a cop. F em.

 

[Anglesachse]

thanks Doc. yeah thats my point, i normaly would have, but I actually managed to walk away. Admitadly i was one p*ssed off puppy, but I didn`t let the guy ruin my day as much as it would have been ruined if i`d have hit him and been arrested.

 

[Anglesachse]

getting realy stressed today, its 1530 and the 2 of the kids here are realy getting to me. Not good. need to calm down, fast. but I cant leave the shop. damn, shit, f*ck, AARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

 

[Doc]

I wish I knew something to tell you to help. But, I am not sure if my style of coping is very healthy or safe. Anyway, I wish you luck.

 

[Anglesachse]

I dare say your way of coping, probably aint much different to mine, which is the reason im in therapie :cool: but thanks for the thought anyway doc