Reporting to the police - How do you feel about it now?

[rosey]

After completing therapy (the first time?) i felt amazing and had the strength to report to the police. They took a basic statement then i had to return to give a full statement and interview which was recorded (filmed). The police were friendly and tried to make it as painless as possible. It was hard though and i went back into therapy for support during the process. Because my abuser had moved abroad it became very complex and not timely. Interpol were involved but the Australian police refused to interview him unless a judge in the uk (where i live) could prove charges ! The Crown Prosecution service investigated and although they found that i was a credible witness because of the law back in the 70s it would be difficult to prove him guilty - so no action taken and he wasnt even visited by the Australian police. How do i feel .... angry, upset , let down - all the feelings of guilt , shame, my fault etc etc all resurfaced. It took a lot of work by myself and my therapist to get through it. Would i do it again ... yes ... its tough though and you have to set realistic expectations- sadly the legal system doesnt always match the moral system !

Hi i just read this (late i know) I am asking on another post about peoples experience of UK reporting and sounds like your case is similar to mine. I reported my abuser and because the law in the 80s is not as is now they could not take him to court. Even though the police and CPS knew he was guilty. Since the reporting he has been hunted by a pedophile group so is still very activity hurting children. I have sent details of my case to the current PM, head of CPS, and an array of other places as I am so wanting to bring this matter into the limelight so these abusers are taken out of harms way. The law as is stands protects the abusers and leaves it and potential victims with no rights.

I am hope (with much sadness) to get a group of other peoples cases together to demonstrate to these lawmakers what is actually happening in the justice system. I know the media in historic cases celebrates those who are let off citing them and guilty and the victims as liers when actually the reality is usually that old laws have prevented action.

Anyway feel free to private message me if you would like to talk more about this.

I am a survivor of child abuse. When I was about 15 or 16 I told a detective that I was being abused and he said that it was a big accusation to make and that I had better have some proof. So, that didn't work out for me. Ironically, he said that they were busy trying to catch a pedophile that they referred to as "Chester the Molester" and that was the end of our conversation.

Many years later, I think I was in my mid-thirties, I went to report the abuse to police officers. I was told that if they caught the main perpetrator and I took him to court the most that would happen is that he would get a slap on the wrist. I decided that the pain of seeing him walk away from what he'd done was too much for me and I did not want to pursue it any longer. I told them they knew who he was and what he did and I would leave it up to them to do something about it if they chose to.

Hi I am so sorry and angry that you also have been let down by the legal system. I have replied to a post further up if you read it and want to get in touch please do

Hey,

Thanks, and yeah, I had absolutely no plans to tell anyone outside of close friends, but then my parents were considered witnesses so the police would have spoken to them regardless and I figured it was best to hear from me. I think the problem is, the information stops being "yours" after reporting. It's not disclosed, like when they speak to the people involved it'll be "Chrissy disclosed a crime between 09-11, any idea what that might be?" but they would still have been told. So I think I had to be in a place where I wasn't necessarily "okay" with my parents knowing, but I could handle it.

As for reporting to police, the police lady I've dealt with has been pretty decent and open. The issue in the UK is that people don't "press charges", the person reporting is a witness, so once the process has started there's not a lot of opportunity to turn back. Because in my situation its not me vs guys like in USA (from my understanding), its police vs guys where I am a witness. So pulling out is a witness pulling out, not someone deciding not to prosecute, cos that's not our decision here, it's a legal decision. It's a small distinction really, but important for if you report then change your mind.

I have reported shit previously and regretted it. I'm not entirely sure how this time feels for me cos I'm right in the middle of it. It's not been anything that I'd refer to as #traumatic yet, but so far it has literally been me and some police giving my side of the story, I'm sure shit will get harder once other point of views are heard. I think it's important you don't have a set expectation in mind, conviction rates are low, historical convictions are lower. So look at why you're doing it and what you expect from it. I know now, I've done whatever I can for whoever is being f*cked over just now, and I don't expect convictions, but it'll be there if anyone else comes forward.

I don't have a do it or dont do it answer, I did not expect me to be in this situation even two months ago. I don't think anyone can judge either decision you make, just look at what you want and expect, talk it through with someone and go from there.

If you have specific questions (my crime was reported in scotland, but it's english law cos it happened in england, so I've been talked through both countries procedures), lemme know and I'll answer as best as I can

sounds like you too had a dreadful expereince with getting justice. I posted a reply on another post here. I am trying to bang on law makers door as this has to stop. If you want to read it and get in touch please do.

Yes, the police were no help whatsoever and made me feel worse

this so makes me angry. If you are based in the UK. Read my reply on the other post. If you want to message me please do.