Retraumatozation Divorce

[ramon]

Hey Guys !

I supported someone with CPTSD for several months through panic attacks and other crises. The day after their divorce, I took one day for myself, and later they or someone else suggested that I might have retraumatized them. My therapist, who is trauma-informed, said I did not cause retraumatization.

For context, they had only started therapy one week before the breakup, and their coping skills were still very limited. The breakup happened shortly after that. I’m trying to understand the difference between someone’s intense emotional reactions and actual retraumatization.

Could taking one day for myself in this context realistically cause retraumatization?

I appreciate every insight or perspective people can share.

Greetings

Ramon

 

[arfie]

You got ptsd as well ?

child sex trafficking survivor. i started my recovery about 25 years before the ptsd dx was officiated. the ptsd dx was officiated around the turn of the millennium.

 

[ramon]

child sex trafficking survivor. i started my recovery about 25 years before the ptsd dx was officiated. the ptsd dx was officiated around the turn of the millennium.

i hope life treats you gently ..

thanks a lot for you input on here it was the only useful one <3

 

[arfie]

it was the only useful one <3

a recovery motto which has helped me along the way is, "take what you like and leave the rest."

often, somewhere down the road, the pieces i left as "not useful" turn out to be just the tool i needed.

 

[shimmerz]

Triggered sure. Retraumatized? I don't know. Was part of a previous trauma someone going away from her when she really needed them? Were you that person? If you weren't that person then it would be a trigger. Sounds to me like someone is using dramatic wording. I hope she gets help with her trauma - if that is what it is. You need to be mindful that supporters can get overwhelmed by the demands of someone going through things that are overwhelmibng. Be careful that you are clear with your boundaries. If you aren't good with boundaries, it's important that you get up to speed. Take care of yourself.

 

[ramon]

Triggered sure. Retraumatized? I don't know. Was part of a previous trauma someone going away from her when she really needed them? Were you that person? If you weren't that person then it would be a trigger. Sounds to me like someone is using dramatic wording. I hope she gets help with her trauma - if that is what it is. You need to be mindful that supporters can get overwhelmed by the demands of someone going through things that are overwhelmibng. Be careful that you are clear with your boundaries. If you aren't good with boundaries, it's important that you get up to speed. Take care of yourself.

thank you ..

she couldn‘t respect bounderies at all - threaten to break up or that we are not compatible ..

over time this pushed me into a caregiving role in a co dependent dynamic.

i called that out before but she said she don‘t want to hear the word dependency ..

idk i‘m really hurt rn