Role models - did/do you have one?

[Ronin]

I tend to go with whatever fits at the moment, and offers something that I need.

If things work out, present people, bit by bit. If not, the people of the past. Or stories of people others knew.

And in case I am hanging in some sort of a void and trying to figure out what is what and course, anything spirited will do.

 

[Teasel]

Agree with what most say about role models coming in all shapes and guises and a person can be a good role model in some respect even if they're really not in another.

And for me having been neglected as a kid, every little bit counted. Saw my Nana a few times a year and till I was 9 she really did show me love. Really warm loving and funny woman. Though I became a bad girl in her eyes the moment her husband started sexually abusing me. Supposedly she didn't know what was going on...

There were a few teachers and a beighbour I felt genuine affection from too which I loved even though the bright beam of attention made me feel shy and giddy. None of them0 were in any life for more than a year but they meant a lot to me. Think they all could sense something was wrong but instead of judging me for it they really liked me and went out of their way to make me feel special. I love people like that. When pretty much everyone shuns you someone who sees the humanity in you means a f*ck of a lot

And for me Books & Films absolutely counted. I still love Maude from Harold & Maude, Celie from the Color Purple & all sorts of wonderful oddballs. Got a heck of a lot from reading about other outsiders.

And I think I had some powerful negative role models too which were still of value in that they taught me what I determined never to be like.

Loved my dad dearly despite abuse and neglect as a kid. He apologised to me later in life. He taught me to think more critically than just surface deep, lived ideas and learning and figuring out how things work and was kind of adventurous behind his shyness too.

In my life now I seem to be repeatedly drawn to and yet shy of really spirited people with a lot of human warmth. People who know their own mind and follow what they feel is right. I've just realised thats my Nana & my Dad and my teachers.

People who change constantly according to what they perceive will boost their social status the most aren't my favourites but I like how the older I get the more I can drop some of my judgements and accept that people are just different.

 

[somerandomguy]

My role models as a kid and teen tended to be musicians and politicians. The musicians are far too embarrassing to share - few of them have been worthy of much respect, except as musicians. The politicians I looked up to were Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter, and Nelson Mandela. Only Mandela has held up over time, and honestly I don't want to look too closely under the veil there. I looked up to my father for most of my childhood and young adulthood. No more. I still think my grandfathers lived exemplary lives for the most part, but their world was so vastly different than mine that I don't feel like I can take much away from what they did, although I still admire their characters.

All this is a long-winded way to say I have no role models. They will let you down. They are human. No person can withstand the spotlight for long, because we're all flawed.

 

[Rani G2]

So, I wonder if we really need role models or can we sort of understand reality by ourselves and choose who we want to be? Or is that outter behavior learning necessary for that brand of social survival?

Toxic environment yet having a strong/somewhat healthy attachment to my mother. Needs were fulfilled/emotional responses were adequately handled, so from a developmental view she was a role model. I suppose it is an exchange between me the individual and the environment. It is always intertwined, based on interaction. Had some ability to keep fantasy and reality apart without becoming radical and luckily having no neurobiological disorder. On some point fictional figures like in Star Trek were helpful then literature, media and so on. Healthy minds were rare while growing up so choosing theories was helpful. I am in bit of a conflict with the idea of the self which is not influenced from the external world.

 

[NatBird]

I had no role models.

There are two people I find inspiring: Sapphire (writer) Gabor Mate. I feel like they are role models in some way, even though I don't know them.

 

[cherileisman]

Good point @berlinda - I hadn't thought about one's negative or anti-role models.

 

[ILoveLife]

@somerandomguy, maybe learning we're all imperfect is a good life lesson, regardless of tutor or role model.