Saying goodbye..

[Orange Phone]

I have seen my therapist for about 7 months. She diagnosed me with PTSD. She is simply lovely. A great therapist. I am saying goodbye to her this week. I need to end it, I am too attached and it all just hurts too much. She is like a mirage in the desert to my "younger" self. (A self I really don't remember). A beautiful mirage. I need this pain to end.... Every week is this terrible cycle of comfort and care, and then cycle out to nothing and then back... the nature of the process (to a degree). Maybe I can find one I don't "like" so much.

How do I do this? My instinct is to just not show up (run) but well, I am a grown-up. Turning 50 today. So.. I will do it in person. I feel sad but its all just too much for me. But I'd rather do the grief once then this weekly cycle...

 

[somerandomguy]

Therapists are used to attachment and transference. It happens. It's a well-known effect of therapy. It's definitely not just you.

I think it's good you're going to see her at least once more. Why don't you ask her what she thinks?

 

[Orange Phone]

I suppose we will have a bit of a conversation.

Just grieving...

She is an attachment type of therapist.. its not her at all..

 

[EveHarrington]

What does an attachment type therapist do?

 

[nowthisisme]

Feeling attached to your therapist is very VERY normal, the comfort, care and attention we get from them is like no other relationship. It can be very confusing to manage your emotions and finding a way to control them is important.

What works for me is being 100% honest with her, I let her know exactly when and why I'm feeling to attached or why I want to avoid her and depending on my preference we pinpoint what made me feel that way and she trys to modify her approach.

Having a therapist that shows companion and care is really good during treatment. It's hard to be 100% vulnerable and open with someone you don't like. And yes, it is also hard when you really like a person but you will feel more secure with someone you like. If you ever fall to deep and go into a dark place and she reaches out to help you, you will accept it. If its someone you don't like you might have a hard time accepting their help.

Express your feelings to her. She will process it with you and see what's in your best interest.

Best of luck to you!

Happy birthday!!!!

 

[Orange Phone]

What does an attachment type therapist do?

Well I am no expert. But I should have said "relationship type" therapist. She has mentioned attachment and that it is normal etc.

I am in a deep, dark hole these days and this is one pain I can get rid of. :(

 

[EveHarrington]

Hi, I still don’t know what a relationship therapist does either? I’m not trying to be nosy, just want to understand. I don’t have experience with this kind of therapy myself.

 

[Orange Phone]

Hi, I still don’t know what a relationship therapist does either? I’m not trying to be nosy,...

Ha, I know so little too. She is a trauma specialist. And that part of the healing is the relationship.. I think.. its about trust... sorry I cannot explain better.. I am exhausted.

 

[EveHarrington]

It’s ok. I’m trying to learn more myself. I don’t understand that some therapists want us to bond with them? But it’s not a real relationship so doesn’t that just damage us more in the end? Just thinking out loud. I’m sorry you’re struggling so much. Hugs.

 

[Orange Phone]

Well it is real in its own way. Just unusual..

 

[Freida]

I am in a deep, dark hole these days and this is one pain I can get rid of

Are you sure this is what you should change? If you are working well with her, but have concerns about being too attached maybe a longer conversation is in order? Do you have another T lined up to replace her? I get wanting to shake things up when I sink into that dark place, but I wonder about kicking the T to the curb? Or I'm totally off base and you are unhealthy attached?

 

[Orange Phone]

Hi Freida,
What is healthy and not unhealthy. I feel so broken I have no idea anymore. Thank you