Scared To Ask - But I Need Opinions

[SammyKline]

my SO has episodes like this. She sounds like a tiny child and it takes several hours for to come out of it, and then really another 2 days or so to recover fully.

i think if preying works for you by all means do it.

15/16 is a very difficult time to become traumatized. these are very awkward and difficult years as it is.

and btw, I'm so sorry this happened to you.

 

[beatle_bailey]

Kunoichi
I hope you will start communicating with Us here on the site soon .

you are important . need to be heard . peolpe here Care what is happening with you .

I have know expieriance in what is happening to you with your black outs . if you tsay people with that kind of trama sideeffects can and will answer . Please talk to us .
Your friend Beatle Bailey

 

[Kunoichi]

It happened again..i revert to a child all over again. I can't control the words that come out of my mouth...at one point when i stopped regressing, i couldn't talk, I couldn't move (altho i was conscious and could feel my body)....

I don't know if that is just severe regression and is "normal" for PTSD and abuse happening at a younger age?

 

[2notbedefeated]

This PTSD stuff is new for me too. I just want to say I don't think you are alone it that experience. I too, seem to have these regressed experiences at least once a week. Mine was this past Tuesday, it is unnerving I know.

My therapist told me today that when I come in to see him many times he sees me regressing at different times when talking and/or recalling memories. I just don't want you to feel alone in this. It sounds like your finacee is a understanding man. When I'm in that state My hubby just holds me and reassures me I am safe. He does this until I either fall asleep or gradually come out of it.

Yeah, I think this can be common to some of us here. Hang in there and as I am continually reminded here to - be kind to yourself and that young child that surfaces. I think you are, plenty, okay. **hugs to you**

 

[beatle_bailey]

Hello Kunoichi

I'm so proud to see you have found others that have similar exspeariances to talk to. You didn't give up . you reached out and asked for help .
I am so glad to see you still trying to find a way to heal your heart and soul .
you are in my prayer's .

Beatle

 

[Kunoichi]

I don't like the child that comes out...its the one that is brainwashed..the one that causes the most harm. its when this child comes out that I come so very very close to self harm (i was playing with my knife..didn't hurt myself but i came close)..

that little child is evil to me...it is the one who listens to the brainwashing...saying how i have to follow the rules...the one that placates and serves and goes so very numb...:(

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

I wonder if you could do some "inner child" work in therapy? That might benefit you to ask your T about it and see how they feel.

I would assume if it's the child in you who is causing the problems then she is the one to start with and get her healed. After that the rest should fall into place

Good luck!
Tammy

 

[Kunoichi]

Tammy,

Does it mean i'm crazy? It really really scares me!!

 

[beatle_bailey]

kunoichi

Get rid of the knife . I gave away my guns because I almost blew somones head of over a drunken argument . finger on the trigger of a loaded 12 gage shot gun in there face . i was so close. the my God ,I P walk away threw all ammo into the lake and gave my guns away the very next day to a friend . haven't owned one since . that was 23 yrs ago . I never want to be there again .
knowing you are crazy -means your half same . you will find your way out if you keep searching .
I have been seeing a therapist since before Chirstmas . telling him stories like I do here. He is learning just how crazy a person can be and still be half sane . During the last chat we had he asked me quite seariously if I was suisidal . I laughed out load and said No . At the end of our chat He said I live on a razors edge light and dark on either side. I agreed even said it can get very dangerous at times . BUT that is how I am and there is nothing wrong with that .
I have had a very rich life , Good and Bad , yet still I find joy , love and have never stopped searching for the very best in people like you and I or every one else we come to meet on our journey through lifes travals.
Keep searching little one .
Beatle :clap:
PS. the T felt good about me when our chat ended.

 

[Kunoichi]

Beatle, ,

I use my knife as protection against my abuser (who still lives near by). I am not suicidal, I know that for sure. However, when i become that "little child" I am unable to really realize what I'm doing. I know that I'm doing it but I have little control and mentally I'm fighting like hell to get out of it...

Thank you for your encouragement hun :)

Kunoichi