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General Secondary PTSD - What Is It In Relation To Spouses?

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For some people they simply can not admitt that anything is really WRONG. My hubby's x wife, still to this day doesn't believe he has PTSD. She is in denial it makes her "right" and him "wrong" so that is why their relationship failed.
Since he has been diagnosed with "Chronic PTSD" at least his 2 boys ages 11 & 13 have a little bit of any understanding that something is wrong, but being "worked on" with the Doctors that their Dad goes to see. I do what I can to help him in whatever way it needs doing to help him get better. I am grateful that I do not have secondary PTSD. I feel grateful to God & everyone that Ranger has gotten help, that he's getting better in many ways, even if he will Never be "cured!" He now realizes that like an alcoholic, he will always have PTSD. We just hope that it stays managable.
I truly feel for all the guys & gals of the military that are enduring it now & in the future as well as their families. I truly wish I could help some how.

Hugs to you all.

Donna
 
Hi All, my wife has just been diagnosed with PTSD and Stockholm Sydrome, as a husband and father to her 4yo secondary PTSD is very real and has negative effects on the spouse and siblings in many ways. I also believe that these type of illness overlink and I believe that she fits into the Borderline Personality Syndrome. One common thing that is said though is that the spouse (sufferer's partner) has to be aware of the stress thas is applied to them. Dealing with this and trying to understand is so very hard.

I am so pleased to see a thread like this and look forward to hearing ideas to help my family and I get ahead and have a meaningful happy life together.
 
I watched Anthony's video for the first time last night and I thought it was pretty good.

Basically, if you ask me, secondary PTSD is learning unhealthy responses and reactions to situations due to "picking them up" from the sufferer. It's like living with someone who swears and you don't. You find, after being exposed to such behaviour for a prolonged period you "pick up" some of the other person's foul language even though you don't like it. You don't even realise you have adapted to "this environment" and don't realise you are swearing too until you catch yourself out. You can even think of it like when you were going to school and your parents didn't want you to hang out with some kids because they thought they were a bad influence. You thought your parents were ridiculous but being exposed to different behaviours can lead to you learning them.

Personally I have found being a Carer demanding at times as you need to be able to help your sufferer up while maintaining yourself versus falling into their patterns and behaviours. It is sometimes easier just to give in to your sufferer's situation than to try and motivate them or give them a kick up the a*se when they need it.
 
Wow. I am floored. I mean really floored. I was just diagnosed with ptsd this week. After YEARS of depressive and mood disorder type diagnosis and years of meds that made it all worse. After my ex left me and our kids with no explainable reason. The highest stress of our lives, I saw him running as a coward. This shows at the highest stress of my life what a raging animal i was and after 15 years, he suffers from it now probably himself. So, I'm kinda frozen with that but here's the thing I'd like to know now, we of course had an awful divorce. He had cheated years ago and I never knew. He has now engaged for a 2nd time with our divorce not even a year yet. He won't be even civil to me with for or about our kids but is only to me that way, this tells me he sees me, perhaps, as I see my abusive mother that tortured me physically from age 7 to 14. I ran away from home and been gone since. My ex is a large part of the reason I became a productive person, nurse and mother. He took it for a long time. I never had any idea that, i had ptsd so they symptoms were all that were attempted to be treated and of course never worked.

My question is, is there any possible way I can help fix this with him? Not our marriage, I accept that is over. But we have (2 young kids that hell, would they possibly have it?) that we have to raise together. Is there anything I can do, or say to have him listen or hear me or anything at all I can do to help him, from what I unknowingly caused? This will be good for me too I think but I am knew to the diagnosis too and I am committed to getting better. But, what can I do? If anything....and admitting that the GUILT is a little overwhelming. Is there a way to tell him these things without him abusing me back with it? Such a confusing life now....but the HOPE is one thing I haven't had in a long time
 
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