Self Compassion Challenge For Those With Illness, Complex Trauma And Child Abuse

[Aarow]

This challenge has been so awesome for me. I try to take the self-compassion breaks through-out my day. I have been more able and willing to leave the house (was isolating for a very long time.) I am having less physical pain. Discipline for meditating everyday eludes me. So am extending myself a break instead of "You are a loser. You have no excuse."

Success directly related to this challenge:

Cashed checks that have been sitting on my dresser for months. Thank you Ivan!
Went out to lunch with another 12step lady who was a practically a stranger.
Went to a 12 step meeting in the first place.(Difficult memories of the 'program' from years and years ago.)
The chatter in my head leaves me alone for hours at a time.

This stuff is so big for me. Thanks everyone, for your honesty and openess.

 

[Ivan the Elder]

Aarow, it is so nice to hear you say these things. That alone is making me feel better this morning as I read your post. That is something I very much need, anything to feel better and this makes my time here well spent.

 

[void]

This challenge has been so awesome for me. I try to take the self-compassion breaks through-out my day. I...

:joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful::joyful:

 

[Ivan the Elder]

Heh, this is turning into a meeting of the Mutual Admiration Society. But what is wrong with that? It is exactly what this is all about and what we all very much need.

 

[void]

Heh, this is turning into a meeting of the Mutual Admiration Society. But what is wrong with that...

Better than our actual Society:playful::p;)

 

[Ivan the Elder]

Better than our actual Society

And much better than how I have been thinking of myself in recent times. I started this day by waking up crying. I don't even know why I was crying. Something in my dreams I guess. Now I am smiling. Smiling is a big improvement. And, I have actually been getting some things done that I have been meaning to do for a while. I hung up some Christmas lights for Advent. I am fixing up some more too. I'm designing something to do with Christmas for my 3D printer. I am feeling very much better, most of it thanks to this place and the people here.

 

[Aarow]

Yesterday evening was a challenge. I spent about seven years in college being taught by two wonderful teachers in ceramics. Had a little studio built off the garage. We decided to move, so lost the studio, and in the interim found out I have a connective tissue disorder.

My husband has been talking again about converting part of our barn into a studio. It's been twelve years since I've worked with clay.(We underestimated the toll salvaging a two story brick house takes, financially and every other way. I was sick or in pain, or sick from pain, studio was put on the WAAAY back burner.)

Anyway, last night we went to a ceramics sale and both my teachers have their beautiful wares for sale. I haven't been able to go to most of these things. My self esteem ended up in the basement. I've been cooking and cleaning, and lucky to do that. Felt like a failure.

What has this go to do with my psychological problems? Chronic pain is such a soul sucking thing. Ramps up stress, which adds to pain, back and forth. Then you get told that stress adds to your pain, like you can control it with a knob. I think chronic pain adds to my STRESS. Losing the ability to make things took a piece of my soul. I don't know if I'm being clear here. Sorry for the rant.

So I'll see where I am after meditation. Glad to have been led to it, Ms Spock! I glad your tears are dried, Ivan and have fun on your 3-D creation! I have started to dabble in watercolors and a bit of writing. Maybe 25 pound lumps of clay aren't my answer anymore....But I sure do miss them....Thanks for listening....big hugs to you all.

 

[ms spock]

This has been quite a challenging Self Compassion Challenge - but it is really a good thing to do. It is the hardest thing for me to do at this time. So it is the thing that I most need to do! So I am doing it!

 

[Ivan the Elder]

I have been up and down like a yo yo. I think much of that is because of the Harvoni Hep C med I am taking. At least according to my doctor my Hep C is most likely now completely gone. That is such a nice thing. However, depression is also a known side effect from this powerful med. It is very much worth it though and I will be off it in just six more weeks.

Also, as of today in the Northern Hemisphere the days are getting longer. That makes this my favourite days of the year. I will be going to church tomorrow night and am so much looking forward to it. I know that will make me feel so much better. God has been walking with me very much lately. He has also been answering some of my prayers in ways that are hard to believe. It is amazing what He will do when you really need his help.

 

[Aarow]

I have been up and down like a yo yo. I think much of that is because of the Harvoni Hep C med I...

 

[Aarow]

Ivan, my brother took that medication with great results, he did say it might have messed up his emotions, but just a little compared to Interferon. That he was a little tired. But we were also grieving our mother at the same time he was taking it. I am waiting to hear any day what the last blood test will bring for him. Good good luck, I hope that your side effects are minimal!( Someone just told me in the US the drug companies are charging $95,000 dollars for the treatment which I think is unconscionable. But he was lucky enough to have insurance.)

It was so good to see your post this morning. Have a Merry Christmas, and may God continue his blessings to you!

I am just terrible at trying to get my quotes to work. When I want to quote someone's comments. Trying to highlight the words is a nightmare. And sometimes you, Ivan, disappear from the comments, it is really weird. Well, I am hopeless with computers. I also can't seem to get the "@--member's name" function to work either. I'll have to ask my son to clue me in on what is happening and give me a few minutes of tutoring! I would have done so much better in the early part of last century. Where they used pencils, and paper, and telephones that were huge, black, and attatched to the wall.

Merry Christmas, everyone! An extra prayer for those who have a hard time during the holidays. An extra prayer for those whose memories or present circumstaces make celebrating a struggle. I extend that prayer to myself, today, because of this self-compassion exercise.

The cruel commentary that was part of thoughts since childhood still stands quiet. For me that is a MIRACLE and the best present I've ever had. Thank you all for being here. This little box I'm typing in is my safe haven. Thank you everyone. Ms Spock thank you for being the spark, xoxoxoxAarow

 

[ms spock]

One of the most important days of the year to practice Self Compassion!

Merry Xmas Everyone !