Ivan the Elder
Silver Member
Yeah, rather of topic is right. Sorry.
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Self Compassion Challenge For Those With Illness, Complex Trauma And Child Abuse
- Post starter ms spock
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Ms Spock, I would love to join . Its a great idea .. But I need somebody to puch me .. By joining it will puch me and that will be enough ... I need to do something .. Everything just seems to be so difficult... I will try and keep quiet. ' not' to trigger people. Cos I think I am a bit behind everybody on this site ..
- Post starter
- #111
D
Deleted member 20978
I think I'd like to join up on one condition. I'd like to just read and not comment for a bit, would you smack me with a stick on my profile if I break that condition? Or someone. That would help. I guess join me though.
Related -- I think tomorrow I'm going to attempt a "silent retreat" in my place and just do all the things I've been avoiding for a while. That's about as meditative as I can attempt these days, but might work :)
Related -- I think tomorrow I'm going to attempt a "silent retreat" in my place and just do all the things I've been avoiding for a while. That's about as meditative as I can attempt these days, but might work :)
- Post starter
- #113
ms spock
VIP Member
I hope you can do a silent retreat for yourself @Jemini.
I would suggest waiting until you are settled enough to regulate your own emotions @Jemini before joining a Challenge on the forum.
The below are all free to use:
http://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/#guided-meditations
http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/instant_mindfulness.html
The Mindful Way Through Depression was very helpful to me personally as was David Burns book on depression "feeling good". I would highly recommend them.
I don't want to join up someone who isn't able to mange their own emotions and regulate their own behaviours. That would not be fair to the group.
I am also not with unlimited time to manage things or pay attention to one person. I do 24/7 dementia care and I am also working on my own Mindfulness, Exercise and Self Management programs. When I come online to MyPTSD - I want to be able to work with people who are able to ground themselves. I am sure that you will get there.
My time and energy is very precious and I don't have lot of time spare to follow up on complications, and really it is up to each person to manage their own symptoms and their own behaviours. You haven't been doing so well in chat, and I don't think that would translate well in to a Challenge.
It is a really good sign that you recognise that you may not manage your yourself, and I do really appreciate your honesty. That to me is a sign for much hope. However, it is important to be clear @Jemini that Challenges done via private messages are a privilege and not a right. Just like being in Chat is a privilege and not a right. Actually in my non expert and non moderator opinion being on this forum is a privilege and not a right. I want to contribute to my community, whilst honouring my own limits within my own circumstances.
Good luck with your healing.
ms spock
I would suggest waiting until you are settled enough to regulate your own emotions @Jemini before joining a Challenge on the forum.
The below are all free to use:
http://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/#guided-meditations
http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/instant_mindfulness.html
The Mindful Way Through Depression was very helpful to me personally as was David Burns book on depression "feeling good". I would highly recommend them.
I don't want to join up someone who isn't able to mange their own emotions and regulate their own behaviours. That would not be fair to the group.
I am also not with unlimited time to manage things or pay attention to one person. I do 24/7 dementia care and I am also working on my own Mindfulness, Exercise and Self Management programs. When I come online to MyPTSD - I want to be able to work with people who are able to ground themselves. I am sure that you will get there.
My time and energy is very precious and I don't have lot of time spare to follow up on complications, and really it is up to each person to manage their own symptoms and their own behaviours. You haven't been doing so well in chat, and I don't think that would translate well in to a Challenge.
It is a really good sign that you recognise that you may not manage your yourself, and I do really appreciate your honesty. That to me is a sign for much hope. However, it is important to be clear @Jemini that Challenges done via private messages are a privilege and not a right. Just like being in Chat is a privilege and not a right. Actually in my non expert and non moderator opinion being on this forum is a privilege and not a right. I want to contribute to my community, whilst honouring my own limits within my own circumstances.
Good luck with your healing.
ms spock
Ivan the Elder
Silver Member
Ms Spock said:
Absolutely true. Putting anything on line takes time, work and money. I have been running web sites since this all began. I had my first on line web pages in 1995 which is when the World Wide Web began on the internet. I have been on the internet since only shortly after it began with my first access in 1979. I am one of the "behind the scenes" people that helped get all of this running with my first software written in 1964. Access to anything on the web is costing somebody else, not just your cost of getting online. This site is no exception and posting here is very much a privilege, not a right.
This site is a very good site and appears to be very well run. There are very many that are nowhere near as good as this one but regardless, they all cost time and money to make them available. I have something like 5000 images and over 40,000 pages of written material of my own on line in one way or another with the majority of it educational and/or helpful in some way. I pay for the servers, the web page names and anything else related to making it all available.
D
Deleted member 20978
Ok understood. To be clear, I wasn't saying I couldn't regulate my emotions but just that I might fail in my intent to just read and not post. And wasn't asking anyone to regulate that for me, just playfully saying if I did start chiming in, someone could remind me I had said I was going to be mum. But point taken -- no one is responsible for managing someone else.
Hope that makes sense. Contrary to some opinions, I'm not just causing a ruckus. I just have been triggered by a malicious member who is now gone and am renormalizing after that scare.
Hope that makes sense. Contrary to some opinions, I'm not just causing a ruckus. I just have been triggered by a malicious member who is now gone and am renormalizing after that scare.
- Post starter
- #116
ms spock
VIP Member
It does make sense @Jemini.
Generally PTSD people don't just cause a ruckus @Jemini, generally people are reacting to a stressor or a trigger - and the thing to learn is to not act that out on the people around us, not to personalise it or cascade into the distorted cognitions. Much easier said than done we all know.
When another Self Compassion Challenge starts, see how you are then and if you want to participate.
I hope you are feeling better soon.
Generally PTSD people don't just cause a ruckus @Jemini, generally people are reacting to a stressor or a trigger - and the thing to learn is to not act that out on the people around us, not to personalise it or cascade into the distorted cognitions. Much easier said than done we all know.
When another Self Compassion Challenge starts, see how you are then and if you want to participate.
I hope you are feeling better soon.
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D
Deleted member 20978
Ok. But I need to say, because it is really bothering me at this point, I have *not* been taking anything out on anyone, to the best of my knowledge. I was almost banned for correctly reporting MB who was absolutely gaslighting me, as has been confirmed. My hypervigilance may have made me wrongly accuse another member, but I did my best to even explain why I'm hypervigilant and what was making me wary, and have since apologized as best I can. If there's some other way I've been "acting out" I would really appreciate being told this explicitly and made aware of it, otherwise please don't keep implying I've doing anything wrong. Yes, I got triggered into dissociating at the phrase "I really like remote target acquisition" in chat, but I *did not* accuse anyone of meaning to trigger me, and when I came out of the dissociated state I had been banned from chat, to the best of my knowledge because I was posting alarming things. But I really stand by the point that I have not been acting out or being aggressive towards members of the community. Please, don't be reading me that way. I too want to contribute within my limits. The chat ban probably is in my own best interest as I simply needed to work through my paranoid thoughts and realize that other *existing* members are not trying to gaslight me or otherwise stalk me.
Apologies for being off-topic at this point, but I am responding to your own posts in this thread. I fully agree using this site is a privilege. Just, I feel like I've had enough reprimands for having been harassed by another member and then being paranoid as a result. Also am a bit worn out being told my beliefs that I've been stalked prior to that member are delusions or symptoms. Sorry, no they are not. I'm doing best I can to abide the direction that I not discuss such things here, but that doesn't mean I'm acquiescing to being delusional. My hypervigilance has been returning to normal levels, and it has helped to read more of existing members past posts, to fully reassure myself. I don't know how else to be describing this stuff, but it is a very very real part of the traumas that led to my PTSD.
Apologies for being off-topic at this point, but I am responding to your own posts in this thread. I fully agree using this site is a privilege. Just, I feel like I've had enough reprimands for having been harassed by another member and then being paranoid as a result. Also am a bit worn out being told my beliefs that I've been stalked prior to that member are delusions or symptoms. Sorry, no they are not. I'm doing best I can to abide the direction that I not discuss such things here, but that doesn't mean I'm acquiescing to being delusional. My hypervigilance has been returning to normal levels, and it has helped to read more of existing members past posts, to fully reassure myself. I don't know how else to be describing this stuff, but it is a very very real part of the traumas that led to my PTSD.
- Post starter
- #118
ms spock
VIP Member
You can private message me if you want to @Jemini and we can clarify anything else further there. But I am not going to endlessly discuss this with you. I have other things to do with my time. None of the moderators get paid for the work that they do, and even if they did your behaviour has not been acceptable. I am not going to waste time arguing points with you. If you are not happy with what I say then raise it in the HelpDesk and not in this thread please.
If a moderator has taken their precious time and energy to instruct you on chat room etiquette then you need to follow that rather than snipe about what you have been told not to discuss. You did not do this. You were in chat, when I was in chat, and you were talking about as issue, saying that you had been told not to talk about that in chat or you would get banned. That was a pretty silly thing to do. You were in the wrong - you abused your chat privileges. And just because you are not remembering what you did when you dissociated - does not mean you get a free pass and do not have to deal with the consequences of that/those behaviour/s. I am not going to continuously discuss this with you @Jemini. Either you take responsibility for your behaviours or you do not, either way I am not going to continue to discuss this with you. I don't care what anyone else did. I don't care what excuses you have. The fact of the matter, is, in my eyes was that you are not being a reliable and responsible forum member, and you were ignoring what moderators were saying to you. Nicolette came in to chat when I was there, I read what she said and I read what you said. You did talk about, in chat, what you have clearly and expressly told not to do, so as is logical, you lost your chat room privileges.
People who did not take responsibility for their behaviours led to my PTSD. Everyone, pretty much, has that story on some level, so that is no excuse either.
But this does confirm to me that not joining you up to the Self Compassion Challenge was the right thing to do - you are not ready yet to be involved in a Challenge.
Good luck with your recovery @Jemini.
If a moderator has taken their precious time and energy to instruct you on chat room etiquette then you need to follow that rather than snipe about what you have been told not to discuss. You did not do this. You were in chat, when I was in chat, and you were talking about as issue, saying that you had been told not to talk about that in chat or you would get banned. That was a pretty silly thing to do. You were in the wrong - you abused your chat privileges. And just because you are not remembering what you did when you dissociated - does not mean you get a free pass and do not have to deal with the consequences of that/those behaviour/s. I am not going to continuously discuss this with you @Jemini. Either you take responsibility for your behaviours or you do not, either way I am not going to continue to discuss this with you. I don't care what anyone else did. I don't care what excuses you have. The fact of the matter, is, in my eyes was that you are not being a reliable and responsible forum member, and you were ignoring what moderators were saying to you. Nicolette came in to chat when I was there, I read what she said and I read what you said. You did talk about, in chat, what you have clearly and expressly told not to do, so as is logical, you lost your chat room privileges.
People who did not take responsibility for their behaviours led to my PTSD. Everyone, pretty much, has that story on some level, so that is no excuse either.
But this does confirm to me that not joining you up to the Self Compassion Challenge was the right thing to do - you are not ready yet to be involved in a Challenge.
Good luck with your recovery @Jemini.
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- Post starter
- #119
ms spock
VIP Member
The next 30 Day Self Compassion Challenge will begin on the 30/12/15, let me know if you are interested.
D
Deleted member 20978
:( ?!
OK will PM. I'm so confused.
OK will PM. I'm so confused.
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