Self harm in adults with ptsd

[anonymous]

I crush my fingers in drawers and doors as it can easily be mistaken for an accident if anybody gets suspicious

 

[T2L]

In my 30s. I've struggled with various types and severity of self harm arriv I was 3. I clearly remember picking my skin/scabs to feel pain. What toddler does that? It's how I learned to cope, unfortunately. I'm not sure if the urges and thoughts will fully go away since they've been my automatic "go to" for multiple reasons: whether it's food, scratching, cutting, burning, drinking, head banging, bruising, and trying to break bones (thank you for mentioning that because I feel very embarrassed and ashamed it moved that far, but it's good to know I'm not alone). I find the severity goes in waves, but the intensity or length of time having the urges or doing the behaviors, ultimately has decreased in duration... So that's progress for me. It is a physically addictive behavior with an endorphin release and I have an "addictive personality," so that could be another component in my situation as well. Addiction, depression, and self harm run in my family, though none of us knew the others self harmed when we started on our own, which leads me to wonder how much nature vs nurture impacts the use of self harm. Anyway, I'm rambling... Yes I'm an adult still struggling with self harm thoughts and or behaviors, but it has gotten better over time as I learn and practice positive coping skills.

 

[piratelady]

I self-harm too and Amanda adult. I read on the internet it’s common with trauma, although I’m sure we all do it for different reasons.

 

[mamachick]

I had a period of self harm after my assault. I was in my 50's and had not a bit of history of this. It only happened when under severe stress. I was taken off of adderoll medication and all urges are gone, even when under the hardest stress. I feel for all that are suffering with this.

 

[Emotional girl]

I am in my early 40s and I have occasionally self harmed in the past but a few months ago I had a major trigger and I started to remember some repressed memories.Ever since then I have been self harming at least twice a day.
For me at the moment it is the only way I can deal with the feelings .My T has been very supportive and hasn't encouraged it but hasn't discouraged it either.I think he understands that it is a release for me at the moment.

 

[AnonNat]

I'm wondering how many of you self harm that aren't young adults? I am 40 and have a problem with self ha...

I'm 51, been self-harming since I was 37 when I married an abuser. I used to bruise and cut but now I only bruise. I left him after 6 years and have been gone for 8.

2.5 years ago I lost my job, tried to kill myself, and was assaulted by a cop in the hospital so my PTSD is worse. I moved and have lived with my mother since. I have a master's degree but can't find a job so I freelance. My mother isn't the most caring person.

I got into a relationship 6 months ago and it's been on and off contentious. No physical violence but emotional. I finally ended it for good tonight and beat the shit out of myself.

I've been on wellbutrin for 9 years and it helps. I saw a therapist but she didn't help.I've had therapy before and know what I'm supposed to do. I just choose not to.

I'm so miserable and lonely all the time and just want to end it.

 

[piratelady]

I've had therapy before and know what I'm supposed to do. I just choose not to.

I think there are two parts to therapy both educating you on what to do but also helping you do it. Have you ever thought of going back to therapy?

 

[Mach123]

I used to hurt myself a lot yelling and banging when I was younger. Then martial arts for a long time my arm is messed up because of that. Most direct harm is gone now except yelling sometimes which is dangerous. I used to bang my head when I was really mad and then that basketball player broke his neck doing it. That stopped me. I do a full split, it hurts like hell which I think is why I like it? It's not hurting me but everyone at the Y sort of looked askance at me. It was normal in the jiu jitsu school. Exercise helped me a lot it hurts like hell.

 

[lovak]

I first started when I was 11. Im 25 now and just relapsed. Im a cutter.. its more about the blood than the pain. It feels like Im somehow crying in red so it calms me down.

 

[piratelady]

It feels like Im somehow crying in red so it calms me down

I’m s cutter too. This is such a great way to describe it. I feel the same way, but haven’t been able to find the words.

 

[lovak]

I’m s cutter too. This is such a great way to describe it. I feel the same way, but haven’t been able to find the words.

Crying in crimson is my favorite phrase, but now felt too poetic

 

[Deleted member 44579]

I think self harming is just an extreme copying mechanism. If you are in therapy and do get some... You learn to understand why. It's un processed trauma and your coping by hurting yourself.