Self love is hard for me.

[SunsetDawn83]

I found doing the buddhist practise of metta surprisingly effective at beginning to shift self hatred.

It felt a bit like physiotherapy. Repeat a very simple exercise daily, and you think I don't see what this is going to do, and then gradually it works.

I actually had a dream where lovely things happened to me when I was practising it daily for a while.

Thank you, I'll give it a go. Xx

 

[StillPen]

@Lesley83, I just wrote this (I am DID). Maybe you can relate.

Unchain my mind
Teach me to be kind
to my parts each and every day Consistent in every way

Unchain my heart
It breaks and is torn apart
Of my whole self to be true
Know all of me thru and thru

Unchain my voice
I never had a choice
Speaking only from the inside
The only place I could hide

Unchain my mind
I can't just hit rewind
To heal means to rewire
My lasting true desire

 

[SunsetDawn83]

I've 10 out of 10 of childhood trauma/abuse/neglect does that automatically mean I'll be diagnosed with complex ptsd or could there be something else. The doctor I spoke actually mentioned PTSD. It's the fear of any professional believing me. I don't know what's wrong with me!! Im on antidepressants for anxiety and depression but there a side effect of the CPTSD. I know what happened to me even if no one else does. Im so tired.....of everything
Wish I could just disappear for a weekend

 

[Chris-duck]

does that automatically mean I'll be diagnosed with complex ptsd or could there be something else

The amount of trauma you have experienced doesn't automatically lead to PTSD, it's more the symptoms you experience from it. But that doesn't dictate how hard things are for you just now. What support you got?

 

[SunsetDawn83]

The amount of trauma you have experienced doesn't automatically lead to PTSD, it's more the symptoms you experience from it. But that doesn't dictate how hard things are for you just now. What support you got?

I've no professional support, I've only my other half and a couple of friends.

 

[SunsetDawn83]

Sometimes I feel that nobody actually likes me, I mean no one bothers to message me. In feeling so lonely and low atm. I just want some one to understand what im going through.
@ the admins, would I have to leave the forum IF im not diagnosed with CPTSD??

 

[Sideways]

To answer your question with my Moderator hat on for a moment -
This is a peer support forum for people with PTSD, but we recognise that diagnosis takes time, and is often an evolving process.

If you get diagnosed with something wildly different to PTSD, then you may find this place may not be the right fit.

You're welcome here while it's useful and you're using the place for its designed purpose. Check out our Community Constitution to reassure yourself.

If you have questions for staff, please use the Contact Us link.

And with all that aside, sorry it's so hard right now. You've been waiting a while now for good quality treatment. The times where I've been between supports were really (like, reeeeally) tough. It felt like I had everything riding on what some strange new psychiatrist's assessment of me, and no control at all over how that played out. So, saying that's a particularly stressful time is putting it mildly.

If it helps at all? This period will pass (that's one thing that is absolutely certain), and you're doing all the right things for yourself. You'll get to the other side of this. You will. It's awful, but the waiting is temporary.

 

[SunsetDawn83]

My inner child is screaming at me and it's becoming hard to ignore.

 

[SunsetDawn83]

Today's not a good day for me. I've a bad headache, Im exhausted. Hoping to hear from the my well being place this week.

 

[SunsetDawn83]

Dear diary, feeling pretty low and vunrerable today. Hope I get the phone call this week.

 

[SunsetDawn83]

There's only one word to describe me today and for the last few days and that's worthless. I feel like I'm not believed.

 

[StillPen]

That is a tough place to be as I have been there, too. Please be kind to yourself while you walk through this until it passes. The most important person to feel like you're believed is you.