Self love is hard for me.

SunsetDawn83

Learning
Dear diary, it's not fair. All my family/friends, are living their best life, getting married, getting a job ,going on days out and adventures and here's me like a hermit. I know I shouldn't let it bother me but it really does. I'm tired of been left behind. I wish I wasn't here.
 
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SunsetDawn83

Learning
Dear diary, feel better than I have done these last few days, it's just the tiredness and the inability to feel rested on the morning. I've been suffering from my impacted tooth for a few days and the pain is worsening. I've also been feeling very angry towards others and especially to myself for being so angry.
 

SunsetDawn83

Learning
Dear diary, another ok day, my tooth has been hurting. For some reason atm I feel all panicky and on edge and that's causing me palpitations. I'm trying to relax and do a hobby but its not really working.
 

SunsetDawn83

Learning
Dear diary, my mum has and still is horrible towards and verbally abuses me (idiot/misery )are the common names. It still bothers me after all these years. I mean if I am a "misery" im only taking after her sometimes nasty attitude towards me. I can't do a house chore without her moaning at me. Doesn't help though that im her fulltime unpaid carer and I still live at home with her.
 

SunsetDawn83

Learning
Dear diary, things are still the same here and for the foreseeable future.
People make it sound so easy when it comes to my mum. They say things like "just tell her" "don't let her dictate you" and I feel like saying it's NOT THAT EASY, you haven't had 30+ years old been worn down to nothing , and/is been verbally and mentally abused by both parents. You don't know what its like with her on a daily basis. You don't see the way she speaks to me. If it was really that "'easy' I would have done it years ago. At 38 I still get verbally and mentally abused by mum.
 

SunsetDawn83

Learning
Dear diary, so having been to the dentist today I've another reason why I hate myself. My broken tooth can't be fixed and I need to get a fake tooth attached to my denture plate. Yes, I'm 38 with a dentures.
 

SunsetDawn83

Learning
Dear diary, I've been thinking or over thinking about myself.
There's not one thing I like about myself physically, I've had 13 of my teeth removed so I'm self conscious about smiling, eating and talking
I feel worthless of friendship cos all I do is talk about how I'm struggling. I wish I could see what other people see in me. All I see is a worthless no teeth short and ugly human being. I want to love myself like I love others.
 

MrMoonlight

MyPTSD Pro
I have a metal partial dentures and was in repair recently...think it was a year of work. I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. I got through this stuff and know you can too.

You aren't alone.
 
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