Other Self Mutilation - skin picking

[Changing4Best]

Ever since I was a kid I have picked at my fingers, scalp and face. I hate that I do this to myself. I pick until I bleed quite often too. Here is a photo of what I did to myself this week:

It may not seem like much, but I am thinking of joining a pool and I cannot be in the water with all these open wounds on my person. HELP! What can I do to stop? Do you do this to yourself? Have you been able to stop?? I read about others who do this in my DBT Workbook, so I realized I am not alone. Then it occurred to me that some of you might do this to yourselves too. I'm working on things in the Workbook, so that might help, but I thought maybe some of you have experience with this and how to stop doing it to yourselves.

(Moderators, if I have placed this in the wrong area, please move it to the right one, thanks!)

 

[Kubash16]

I don’t have a ton of advice but you definitely aren’t alone.

I used to do this exact thing when I was little but with nail clippers on my feet. I would literally cut them up to make them bleed. I think I kinda grew out of it or just replaced it with worse SH stuff.

But since starting therapy I’ve noticed the urge appears every once in awhile when I’m particularly stressed. I’ve managed to not pick the habit back up yet by busying my hands with something else or writing here about whatever memory/thought is bugging me.

Distraction is really the only thing I can think of and trying to recognize when the urge comes.

 

[Neverthesame]

So long as you don't have an active infection in the cut, a liquid bandage would probably be your best bet. Walmart should carry it.

 

[Changing4Best]

I guess the urge comes when I am feeling attacked or stressed or unappreciated or threatened in some way, probably really when I am feeling almost any kind of negativity. I do use bandaids sometimes, but on my scalp that does not work really. I wash a lot with antibacterial soap, including mixing it in with my shampoo sometimes too.

Since I made the decision this afternoon that I did not want to do this any longer, I have caught myself doing it once so far. I stopped myself quite quickly, but there were a few seconds there where I was not consciously aware of doing it yet, then slowly becoming aware of it and then finally stopping myself. It takes maybe 3-5 seconds to stop, and in that amount of time, I can do a bit more damage.

I put a bandaid on it with some medicine, so that helps some. The medicine stang, so it is still an open wound. I will probably start in on another area of my body or my fingers or something soon. I don't think I do it in my sleep at least, thankfully.

I do wonder what made me start doing this to begin with. I also wonder what thing in our ancient past causes it. If it is something a lot of us do, there must be some kind of collective experience back there through the ages that our cells remember on the evolutionary path or something. Does that make any sense?

 

[somerandomguy]

My wife bought me a fidget toy and now I have something to play with instead of picking my nails. You might look into something like that. Many of them are very small and cheap.

 

[Kubash16]

Fidget toys are a great idea!

I don’t know that it’s so much an evolutionary thing as it’s just our body needing to release energy/anxiety to soothe. None of us are great at expressing things a healthy way so we naturally find other sources of expression healthy or not.

 

[Changing4Best]

Fidget toys are a great idea!

I don’t know that it’s so much an evolutionary thing as it’s just our body needing to release energy/anxiety to soothe. None of us are great at expressing things a healthy way so we naturally find other sources of expression healthy or not.

That makes more sense than my idea. I just wonder how hurting ourselves makes us feel soothed, but somehow it does. It must be some kind of reverse psychology. It's weird.

 

[Kubash16]

That makes more sense than my idea. I just wonder how hurting ourselves makes us feel soothed, but somehow it does. It must be some kind of reverse psychology. It's weird.

In a way ya. It’s more that most of us have had parents that didn’t teach us how to appropriately express emotion outwardly. Our only safety was ourselves and the emotions have to go somewhere. We learn to internalize and SH because we get this idea that we are wrong to show emotion.

 

[Changing4Best]

My wife bought me a fidget toy and now I have something to play with instead of picking my nails. You might look into something like that. Many of them are very small and cheap.

The main trouble with this idea is that I find myself doing this at WORK! WHen I become aware of it, I wonder if anyone else is aware of it, and if so what they think about me doing it to myself. Of course, for this same reason, the idea of a toy is out. I'm the low person on the totem pole, so an "executive toy" is out too, as everyone can plainly see me as I am working. No one has ever said anything, but I am almost sure someone must have noticed at some point or other. If I am lucky, they just thought I had an itchy scalp or fingers or something. At worst, they do it too, and know exactly what I am doing. But then, if that were the case, they might understand.

 

[Kubash16]

Most people are lost in their own little world and most likely haven’t noticed. I think we sometimes get more paranoid of how we are perceived than we actually are (I might be the queen of this, I dunno lol ?). What do you do for work? In terms of how do you use your hands? That’s a strange question. . . Lol

 

[somerandomguy]

I don't know, my boss is the Director of an entire research laboratory and he uses one constantly. Do you really think it would be an issue to your bosses and coworkers?

 

[Changing4Best]

Most people are lost in their own little world and most likely haven’t noticed. I think we sometimes get more paranoid of how we are perceived than we actually are (I might be the queen of this, I dunno lol ?). What do you do for work? In terms of how do you use your hands? That’s a strange question. . . Lol

I keep elderly people company, helping them with minor things they need, like opening doors for them, getting them a coffee, etc. We sit together a lot, chatting and socializing. No one has ever said anything about my picking at myself, so I don't know if they have noticed or not.