When I was a child, I often felt alone. So, to fill that void, I used the empowerment that the gift of my imagination gave me; force of will. I’d write stories and paint myself as if I’d been the happiest child ever, painting pictures of having friends that I never had in real life. In a strange way, it allowed me to grow and learn a lot about myself. As I grew older, I thought I was weird for having done that, until I realized that Napoleon did something similar. When his mother wasn’t able to attend his ceremony, he told David to paint his mother in the picture, as if she were actually there during the ceremony. Even the most fearless of leaders at one point felt vulnerable — then they destroyed their vulnerability in the name of money, power, fear and respect. Because something scared them from ever feeling again. Depression starts when you’re disappointed in yourself. Or maybe your disappointment in something else. It eats away at your soul, discourages you and sends you down a road where you’ll feel helpless and pursue self-destructive behavior. That’s not all, though. Depression is a lot deeper than that. See, most people can strive to survive anything; Wars. Battles. Arguments. Why? Because they see a destination in sight. Depression disables you from seeing a destination. It makes you re-evaluate who you are, why you’re here and whether or not you deserve to find your destination. Depression is a lonely place filled with silence, pain, mixed signals, fear and anger. Depression is being scared of your own shadow. Depression is waking up every morning and wondering why you keep going.
