Service dogs for ptsd

[Abigail]

This subject takes a lot for me to tell people about (I have only talked it through with one person ever), and I'm terrified of posting this, but I trust you guys to not be too cruel if I'm being the worst.

So in my introduction I posted a little about what I've been through, so I'll just include that I was abused by my mother since I was four years old and lived with her up until last March, two months before I turned sixteen. From about four years old to fourteen, we had a family dog, Max. He was a rescued German Shepherd and the love-fuzz that kept me alive.

I have been on a medication merry-go-round with nothing working for me. In conjunction with that, I was in various psychotherapy sessions. Only one of the therapists was trauma-specialised, and he was very bad. But anyway, talking to people never helped. I hate opening up to people and it doesn't comfort me at all. It actually makes me feel really bad a lot of the time, and embarrassed.

When we had my dog, I basically trained him to react to what was happening to me without realising it. I taught him that when I was having an anxiety attack, he needed to come over and start licking my face or give me his paw, do something to keep me out of my head. I'm terrified of being home alone and I was always on my toes, so I taught Max to "search" where I heard noises. Even if it was in the corner of the room we were in and he didn't react to it, I would ask him to look in the corner anyway and he would humour me. It made me feel safer.

I've always used animals for comfort. When he died at the age of 10 because of cancer and my mum neglecting to take him to the vet when the symptoms first started showing, I was overwhelmed and so afraid. Everything was amplified. The only times I actually felt safe were with horses. I volunteered on a farm where I helped care for and train horses (about thirty of them, it was a show-horse breeding farm) and I took care of the many dogs, cats, chickens, and the pig.

Recently, with nothing making me feel better, I was searching for something. I learned about PTSD service dogs by chance at some point, and was like "Oh hey, I have that, let's see" and I just can't even count the benefits of that option because there are too many. I've done so much research to pros and cons, laws and protection, etc, and I continue to do so. I just think there are so many good things. I remember when my dog was the only reason I was still alive. I remember how he was the one who helped me and kept me safe.

My dad (I am 17) reacted a very different way. Now, he is a dog lover, but he was enraged. He told me I "don't need a dog, laws don't exist to keep dogs in apartments that don't allow pets" and that I "needed to learn how to handle things like a normal person."

Okay so apart from the giant "ouch" I felt at what he said, he only added to my complete invalidation of my emotions. I never reach out for help, so asking him to his face was a big deal for me (I tend not to ask for things because I'm afraid the person I'm asking will hit/punish me like my mum did: my dad never has). So I got it stuck in my head that I don't deserve that much help, being this afraid is completely normal, maybe I never leave the house because I'm actually just lazy, maybe people are just waiting for me to succeed in killing myself, all those fun thoughts I didn't need over what's already in my head.

I'm incredibly bleak about my future, I'm very much over with living because I hate all this suffering. But if I make it another year, whether because I fail again or I just manage to get through, I'll be 18 and in college and it will be my choice. However I'm still terrified. I don't want to bring it up to doctors because I'm afraid of being called a spoilt brat because medication wasn't enough for me. I'm planning to soon, as soon as I get an appointment with me psychiatrist, but I'll probably cry I'll be so scared and I will feel so guilty. I'll be afraid to bring it up to the college mental health therapists for the same reason.

I just need some guidance from people who know what they are talking about. You guys are great and supportive, and I know you will be honest. I need to know if I sound snobby, if I need to get over myself and find something that makes me happy that I don't need to bother other people for, if I'm being a silly self-centred kid, etc. I know what a Service Dog could do for me. I know they won't take away from problems, but I also know for a fact they will help me in my recovery because they will help me face my problems instead of running away. They will get me out of the house, whether I'm scared to leave or not. I won't have to worry about constantly watching everything happening in my surroundings because it could be a threat.

Thank you for reading all of that. I don't know what I deserve or if what I need is "okay". I don't want to have to have someone tell me yes or no about that, but right now I really can't take it just being in my own head. Thank you!

 

[seedling]

I think you would greatly benefit from having a Service dog or getting a dog you could train to be one for you. I know there are people on the forum with Service dogs for their PTSD, have you read those threads?

Since you had Max already and had such a great relationship with him during your most traumatic years it's a natural thing now that you would benefit from the same thing again. That's great medicine and any trauma specialist should recognize that. It's your recovery and that will be tailored to you.

Here's my confession: When I was a kid I had a lot of stuffed animals and would pile them around my shoulders, neck and ears. I would talk to them and have them talk to each other before I went to sleep. In the last year my husband bought me some smaller stuffed animals and I came to realize that it helped me fall asleep to press them around my neck and against my ears. It was instantly and powerfully soothing and I was reminded of my childhood animals. I think when I was young I used them to calm my anxiety and I didn't understand that until now with the PTSD.
It took me a long time to tell my therapist about this. It seems silly, but guess what - it works for ME.

Your dad is stressed about getting a dog when it's against the rules.(?) I'm not sure why he was "enraged." Maybe he feels powerless to help you. Maybe he doesn't want to believe that you have been so hurt. Maybe he wants it all to go away. Whatever it is it's not because you are lazy or selfish.

Hang in there Abi.

 

[RussH]

Abigail, Abi, first thank you for your courage in posting this. No you do not sound snobby, and I think a service dog is a wonderful idea for you. I just wish your dad agreed. Perhaps if you talk with your therapist, and they agree, then they will talk with your dad. You can also do some research regarding the laws in your city and state about service dogs, and you can share that with your dad.

I also think, and this is a guess, your dad's reaction was out of fear; fear that you getting a service dog will make it impossible for him to deny you are suffering and struggling, and he can't fix you.

I know it seemed like he was mad at you, but I think he was mad at your PTSD and the fact that it is making his little girl suffer.
give him some time, he may come around.


Abi, I know you are tired of suffering, but things do get better, and life is worth living.

As you said, in a year from now you will be eighteen and in college.

 

[FindingMyself88]

I am going to try to respond, I may have to come back later and finish as it has been a really hard day.

Your story reminds me a lot of my own. Animals were always my closest companion and what helped me get through the abuse. I always had dogs and when I was in high school I had a horse who I loved more than life itself. Sadly my mom sold him once I graduated high school.

It was not until I moved away to college at age 23 that my real PTSD symptoms appeared and I was diagnosed. I too have been on the medication merry-go round and nothing has truly helped. I am with an AMAZING trauma therapist now and I am so thankful for her. However, she cannot be with me everyday.

I too did some research and found out about PTSD service dogs. When I brought it up to my doctor, therapist (different therapist at the time), and psychiatrist they were all very supportive. I tried going through a program but it was taking too long. In March I attempted suicide and that was when I realized I really needed the dog. By this time I had done so much research and have trained all of our dogs in the past that I decided to take on the task of finding a dog to owner-train. Thankfully my mom was on board. Ironic, because she was(is) one of my abusers, but she doesn't acknowledge that. She has BPD, long story as to why I am living with them again (head injury basically). Anyways, after 2 tries I found the right dog. She is the one in my picture.

We have been training for almost 3 months and she is doing amazing! I rescued her from the SPCA and I simply say we saved each other. If I can get her over her dog/leash reactivity (not aggression), we will be well on our way to becoming a fully trained SD team. Already in these 3 short months she has changed my life! She knows her tasks such as deep pressure therapy, alerting me to panic attacks/flashbacks/nightmares/body memories/dissociation, providing space, interrupting bad behavior. We actually went to our first movie theater last night and she did okay, just needs work on settling down. The milestone in this was that this was my first social trip since before suicide attempt and it wouldn't have been possible without her! I have developed mild agoraphobia from my PTSD triggers and fears, so Miss Bristol is helping me get out more.

My stepdad is hesitant about taking Bristol places, he doesn't fully believe its legal. However we are working on this and he sees how much she helps. I know what parents say can be very hurtful. Especially in terms of this, they don't know the pain you are suffering. No one truly grasps the reality of it unless they have PTSD. Do you think you could talk your dad into getting what is called an Emotional Support Animal (dog). All this requires is a simple letter from your doctor stating you need the dog to help with the emotional aspects of your disability. Then the dog/puppy would be allowed in the no pet housing. Maybe your dad would tolerate that more than getting a dog for service work. If you got a puppy from a reputable breeder and began basic obedience training early, you could owner train your own dog. Pups less than a year can actually also learn certain tasks such as deep pressure therapy and alerts. So you could be training the puppy and using it for emotional support for this year, then by the time you are ready for college, you could ask your doctor to up the status to service dog and start the official service dog in training work.

If your dad allows this, you would still need to do a lot more than normal puppy training and I would suggest a lot of positive reinforcement training research online. The puppy would need to be socialized as much as possible with people and other animals. Take trips to the park, pet stores, etc.

This is just an idea that might be easier for your dad, while allowing you to get a puppy to train for possible future SD work. Now I will tell you training a dog for SD is difficult on a lot of days and is more than just teaching the dog to love you and do things for you. It will take advanced obedience training. Not all dogs are cut out for SD work. You would need to do tons of research on finding the right dog before you even got one. At least if nothing else you will have found a 'prospect service dog', but for sure an emotional support animal to help you cope at home.

You could also see if you could raise money or ask for dog training classes so that living in the apartment, your dog is very well behaved. I definitely think you would need to work with a trainer no matter how much animal experience you have. I have trained Bristol all her tasks and obedience, but we are working with a trainer on the reactivity and also on solidifying her training.

I hope this helps some and makes sense, again today is a really off day for me. Hang in there and know you have all of us for support. Maybe some others will chime in, I know there are SEVERAL of us who have service dogs for our PTSD.

 

[Friday]

Good on you.

Actively seeking ways to improve your life is the very opposite of being a spoiled brat.

Also... Whilst your still at your fathers and can't get a SD, do both continue to do the footwork you've started so that you're ready to go straight out the gate, but also I would very much suggest looking into working with horses, this year.

Roosevelt said "There's something about the outside of a horse, which is good for the inside of a man".

Here in the states, there are programs to get people with various disabilities up riding. If there are any local to you, jump on that. However, also consider what I did: being unable to afford riding lessons (much less keeping my own) I became a "working student". For every 10-15 hours I worked in the stables, I got 1 hour of free lessons. Honestly, that was just icing on the cake. Feeding, grooming, mucking out, exercising, and even helping out with the trainers, vets, and farriers... Was by far the best part of the deal. I actually grew to feel sorry for paying students, because they got much less time with horseflesh than I did. And there really is something about the outside of a horse good for the inside of man. Can't explain it. But already being horse-people, you know. It's synergy.

If you can work with horses this year, while getting the paperwork and legwork in on getting a dog when you move out? Well, it's exciting.

 

[Chava]

I'm going to keep this short since I don't have service dog knowledge (though I know my pets really pull me back into my body by touching my face when I'm really depersonalized...they are amazing helpers). But I hear that you are suffering and I can relate to not wanting to do therapy and not doing well with "talk" therapy. I just gave up on talk therapy since I never got anywhere and often just felt worse about myself in ways. I'm now doing more body-movement oriented trauma therapy, including Somatic Experiencing. I can talk, but I don't need to. It's great. And even without so much talk, I've been able to tell this therapist a lot more because I didn't feel so overwhelmed by the therapy itself. So, just so you know there are other therapy options. Okay, good luck with the dog options. For whatever works out, there are apartments that accept dogs with or without being therapy dogs, though it really depends on where you are at. Pets are huge supports and I think it's great that you recognize this and want to find ways to help yourself. Just ignore your dad. Sorry about that added invalidation. Parents can be such jerks sometimes.

 

[JustBe]

My Service dog and ESA save my life every day. Having a dog in your life is ALWAYS a good idea.

Don't let the darkness win.

 

[Shumsky]

I have six dogs, and my female Border collie is an emotional support dog for PTSD and anxiety. My male Border collie is also a registered therapy dog. I think having a service dog for PTSD is a really great idea.
I can really relate to what you said about your German shepherd, my boyfriend and I have four shepherds and they're wonderful dogs. They're very comforting because they're so in-tune with our emotions. I think it's more than "okay" to want a service dog for PTSD, I think it's a great idea and you could really benefit from it! :)
You can always PM me if you have any questions about dogs or about therapy or service dogs!

 

[Justmehere]

You could volunteer with a local humane society, dog rescue, animal rehabilitation center, or horse care facility as one way to be around animals (and you could tell your father it's an extra curricular/ eat to volunteer in your community). I did this for awhile before having a service dog. I would go and play with the cats at the local shelter and muck pens at a horse barn nearby. It helped my heart greatly.

 

[Abigail]

I don't even know where to start. I am overwhelmed by the support you all have offered me. Thank you so so much.

It took me a long time to tell my therapist about this. It seems silly, but guess what - it works for ME.

Your dad is stressed about getting a dog when it's against the rules.(?) I'm not sure why he was "enraged." Maybe he feels powerless to help you. Maybe he doesn't want to believe that you have been so hurt. Maybe he wants it all to go away. Whatever it is it's not because you are lazy or selfish.

Hang in there Abi.

That's amazing that you are able to talk about that now with your therapist! I'm so glad it helps you! I have my stuffed Beagle, Amy, that I can't deal without.

I think you could be right with not wanting to believe that I'm hurt. He is always hoping that I'm getting better, but is so surprised when I tell him that I am not. I remember when my psychiatrist told him I self harmed the week before and he wouldn't speak to me for twenty minutes. It's not like he didn't know I self harmed, but it's just hard on him and I feel bad for that. It could be a lack of understanding as well. Once, with a social worker, I started having a panic attack just out of the blue and he was worried and thought I needed my inhaler because he recognised that as an asthma attack (which I've never had a full-blown one before).

Perhaps if you talk with your therapist, and they agree, then they will talk with your dad. You can also do some research regarding the laws in your city and state about service dogs, and you can share that with your dad.

I know it seemed like he was mad at you, but I think he was mad at your PTSD and the fact that it is making his little girl suffer.
give him some time, he may come around.

You reminded me of something I forgot to share. So I was placed in a crisis centre for a week because I was trying to kill myself and couldn't keep myself safe. A couple days in, I saw this younger therapist who I just love. I miss her, she was amazing. But I told her how important animals were to me and she tried to talk to my dad because she thought having an animal was important. She came back and said "Don't ever talk about getting animals to him" and the same way someone would say "Don't ever jump into a cage and cuddle with an angry tiger."

I hope he comes around. I'm pretty emotional (rationally thinking but I'll cry when trying to speak, it's really annoying) and I can't reason with him if he is going to raise his voice at me and scare me. I don't think he means to scare me, but it's really stressful all the same and I don't think it's really fair to me if I'm doing all of this research and there is no real reason it's not plausible.

@FindingMyself88 I really hope that things get better for you xx I actually have talked to him about Emotional Support Animals as well (I gave him a plan of what I would do which is very similar to your Emotional Support Animal to Service Dog idea) and he still got angry because it was still me asking for a dog.

@FridayJones Thank you so much. I definitely wish I could be working with horses this year. I'm looking down every avenue. A lot of stables already have college kids taking up the free work. I also live pretty far (I think the closest stables are twenty minute drives, which is long for a teenager without a car nor license) from any horses. Even local-owned horses are far away from me, so I'd have to juggle that. You are so right. Just watching horses is such a magical experience. With my volunteer work, I learned about herd behaviour and communication and it's just so amazing.

@Chava That's awesome, that you got a therapy that works for you. Thank you so much for your words of support. I'll definitely try to shove the invalidation into the rubbish where it belongs.

@JustBe This was such an important post to read. Dogs are just so amazing. My dad and I took a roadtrip to Canada (college visits) and we stayed with my aunt in Mass. who has (along with a billion other animals) this golden retriever. We were fast friends and that was the **only** night for as long as I can remember that I actually woke up and felt rested. I had a nightmare and that emotionally hurt, but I finally got sleep. And the dog had been in my room a lot of the night. He would go and check on my dad, and then come back. I remember faintly waking up a few times in the night but that's it. Having a dog just there, in and of itself, is so amazing.

@Shumsky Ah, I remember your agility dog! it must be so amazing, having so many dogs. When I was younger, we lived next to a couple with two dogs (I want to say a boxer and a boxer/mastiff mix) and my favourite thing was going out with my dog and having those two dogs be out and I feel there is such an energy between them and it was..just a really cool feeling.

@Justmehere That is a great idea, and I am scouring the Internet for places that accept volunteers under 18. So far, they haven't lightened up about that rule.
It's funny when people complain about mucking up after horses. When I was at the breeding farm, that was definitely good for my heart. Caring for such an important animal is just the best.

 

[Joan]

I got a PTSD service dog in March...it was really hard at first, but now I cannot imagine life without him. He not only is good comfort, he makes me laugh which has not been something present for me in a while, he searches my apartment before I enter, he recognizes at times when I am going to have a fb and stays with me during and licks my face, he guards me, takes care of me, blocks me from behind when in line. He does not take away all the crap, but slowly and surely he is bringing me out....making me take him out and play...etc. I hope that you continue to pursue this option.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I have always had dogs and cats that have kept me feeling safe. My two year old Maltepoo is a PTSD service dog. She can't go everywhere with me, but I can't be denied housing or educational settings with her. My sons best friend had an emotional service dog at college and it helped him very much.
I can't imagine what your father has against another dog. Vet bills? There is a plethora of evidence of the psychological and physical advantages of therapy dogs and therapeutic riding for people with PTSD. I can't afford therapeutic riding but some people have insurance that covers it.
You are not bring unreasonable. Quite the opposite IMHO. Good luck with this and I agree with finding ways to be with dogs and horses even if you can't own one.