Session was very triggering today

[Movingforward10]

You’re all so right, the call was really not important, which I know because I heard her side of the conversation. But me, being me, will not be able to bring any of this up

Is it worth exploring why you won't bring it up?
Could you explore either here or with your T about there being something that has upset you but you're stopping yourself from expressing that to the person?

 

[Rose White]

Agree with @Movingforward10 . Maybe something like, “Sometimes when someone does something that upsets me I feel like I’m unable to tell them that.”

 

[Tinyflame]

I'm not sure if I'm misunderstanding @Erin1523 , but if I hear you right the most painful part was expressing feeling unloved and not having a mother figure and then near that same moment having a reminder from her and her dtr what you do not have; and secondly that if it indeed happened at the same time her seeming oblivious to you just telling her your emotions, crying and then doing the very thing that reminds you of that hole, all the while interupting your session. Do I have it correct, that that was worse than her receiving a call itself?

I think one could 'hope' she could put that together, your sensitivity and pain since you just expressed it, but then she's not a mind reader, and she could even equally assume you were triggered or bothered by things you weren't.

It didn't happen this time, but maybe next time for communications sake you can express to what you are feeling in the moment and why. (I don't think many of us do, even if we think of it in the moment in our head, or have a question in our head or are unsure). Such as, ~"after sharing what I did, and then seeing others with the opposite (in this case yourself and dtr) I feel even more (lonely or sad or x, y, z). And I feel a bit minimized when you interupt our sessions with phone calls. And yet part of me is very hesitant to tell you this, and I wish you well also." (You can feel contrary things at the same time). Or whatever you (personally) feel.

Welcome and best wishes to you.

 

[Charbella]

I agree with @OliveJewel and @Movingforward10 you really need to bring it up so maybe think of alternatives.

Could you :
Give her a note with it at the end of the session and leave? Say you’re not ready to talk about it but check in with you next session?
Could you give her a note and then talk about it?
Could you say I hate that I’m triggered when people express love to their children because ______? Not even reference how she did it in session?

If you choose to leave it, be careful the little things don’t fester because then you’ve invested time and effort and your story into a therapist then the things add to the point of not wanting to see them.

We all struggle to say certain things but you have to find a way to work around it that works for you and while avoidance is a handy tool, your going to need others too.

 

[Erin1523]

I'm not sure if I'm misunderstanding @Erin1523 , but if I hear you right the most painful part was expressing feeling unloved and not having a mother figure and then near that same moment having a reminder from her and her dtr what you do not have; and secondly that if it indeed happened at the same time her seeming oblivious to you just telling her your emotions, crying and then doing the very thing that reminds you of that hole, all the while interupting your session. Do I have it correct, that that was worse than her receiving a call itself?

I think one could 'hope' she could put that together, your sensitivity and pain since you just expressed it, but then she's not a mind reader, and she could even equally assume you were triggered or bothered by things you weren't.

It didn't happen this time, but maybe next time for communications sake you can express to what you are feeling in the moment and why. (I don't think many of us do, even if we think of it in the moment in our head, or have a question in our head or are unsure). Such as, ~"after sharing what I did, and then seeing others with the opposite (in this case yourself and dtr) I feel even more (lonely or sad or x, y, z). And I feel a bit minimized when you interupt our sessions with phone calls. And yet part of me is very hesitant to tell you this, and I wish you well also." (You can feel contrary things at the same time). Or whatever you (personally) feel.

Welcome and best wishes to you.

Yes you hit the nail right on the head. This is exactly what’s going on for me.

I agree with @OliveJewel and @Movingforward10 you really need to bring it up so maybe think of alternatives.

Could you :
Give her a note with it at the end of the session and leave? Say you’re not ready to talk about it but check in with you next session?
Could you give her a note and then talk about it?
Could you say I hate that I’m triggered when people express love to their children because ______? Not even reference how she did it in session?

If you choose to leave it, be careful the little things don’t fester because then you’ve invested time and effort and your story into a therapist then the things add to the point of not wanting to see them.

We all struggle to say certain things but you have to find a way to work around it that works for you and while avoidance is a handy tool, your going to need others too.

These are good ideas.. I think I will send her an email… and then refer to it in session in case she doesn’t see it before.