Setbacks During Recovery

[anthony]

Setbacks

While you are working on controlling your panic attacks, phobias, triggers and fears, the road to recovery will include many temporary failures. These are called setbacks. There is an "up and down" aspect to recovery which can be exhausting and frustrating. Sometimes it feels like you are back to square one, to your very worst moments. The most alarming pitfall to recovery can be a temporary return of panic after weeks, months, or even years with no attacks. You can waste a lot of energy trying to figure out why this happens.

Setbacks can be triggered by memories of old fears, new fears and stresses, or even minor changes in your life that threaten your sense of security. There can be a surprisingly quick return of all the old patterns (for example, "all or nothing thinking"). The setback can be small and resolve itself quickly, or it can be a devastating, catastrophic event. People tend to withdraw from setbacks in fear and fall into the trap of trying to fight them. Many revert back to old patterns of avoidance and feelings of hopelessness. It can seem as if you are back where you started with no possibility of any forward movement. In other words, you feel despair, and you feel stuck.

Setbacks are an inevitable part of recovery and should be viewed as opportunities to practice coping with fears in the right way. Some tension or strain has sensitized the nerves once more. Memory stirred by some sound, sight, or smell may have triggered the panic almost reflexively. When taken by surprise in this way, the panic can be experienced very intensely. If you feel depressed or despairing during a setback, it's likely having no anxiety at all is what you mistakenly want and expect. On a thinking level you must realize that having no anxiety at all is not possible or practical. Recovery means being able to cope with your fears, panic and triggers, not obliterate them completely. We will all feel stress and its symptoms as long as we live. A setback may seem like a failure, but we can't go forward in recovery without them. This is a hard lesson to learn. But in time, you can learn to go along with a setback, and to get out of one by proceeding in a systematic way - by setting a plan of action and following through.

It is helpful to remind yourself that to be in a setback, you need to have made some progress before. You have learned some skills and achieved some success, and you still have more that needs to be learned. Recovery lies on the other side of a setback, and you will never lose what you have already gained.

 

[Jade-]

Good article. I keep feeling like I'm back to square one over and over again. Each time it happens I feel so hopeless and go directly to that dark place. I didn't realize setbacks are an inevitable part of recovery. I thought they meant I'm a failure and will never get better.

 

[Jade-]

How long does it take before the setbacks are further apart? Does anyone ever really get to a point where they can go years with no problems?

 

[anthony]

Not everyone is the same with PTSD. All you need worry about is what you measure against your life changes, before and present. If you notice positive change for your life, your circumstances, your PTSD, then that is the positive for you. There is no fixed scale for this.

 

[Jade-]

I'm realizing that the main thing with this is to focus on the positive. When I'm in a setback I need to remember the positive progress I've made instead of letting myself get so frustrated and hopeless. Otherwise I'm just going to keep repeating the same cycle and end up suicidal over and over again. I think alot of it is just habit. And it takes time and practice to break habits.

 

[Blutarg]

This gives a sense of reassurance and your comment about measuring the positive makes sense too.

 

[Tinyflame]

I think that is one of the very best articles. A 'relief', but an eye-opener too. An example of concrete hope.
Thank you-

 

[SSgtGuamZombie]

Thanks! This is good.

 

[jewel]

I guess i am in a setback now. I have felt hopeless and alone. I don't know how to move out of it. I have no family or friends or support around me. Just me.

 

[Tinyflame]

And 'us'
xoxox

 

[anni]

I cannot form thoughts properly at the moment to add what I wish to this, but must say it's extremely true from my personal perspective 10%0 across the board. One of the things which makes it possible when this happens is knowing clearly there IS that 'other life' you've managed to acheive despite what your head is telling you at the moment. " It is helpful ot remind yourself that in order to have a set back, you need to have made some progress before". Yes. Just yes, that's all.

Time between setbacks? I don't know if that's a red herring or not. It implies that there's a measure on how controllable life events are, and how one's PTSD wired brain interprets events and decides to run away with your head. We have zero control over either of these, just how we choose then to run with what we've got by way of getting back to the other place we KNOW is there. If I've learned anything, it's that you cannot fight PTSD itself- it's there.It's wasted energy- resenting it, giving it that kind of negative, draining attention. It's there, that's all. You work with the dam thing, around it, through it, trick your own head if you have to but only by accepting it did I begin to get anywhere. Set backs will happen because life happens, that's all. I feel more than dreadful today through some genuinely dreadful stuff. The PTSD is making it far, far worse. I know what I need to do- some of it I can't do one thing about, some I can. I'll have to be tough on myself and also kind to myself ( not something one pulls off well, the kind to yourself part ). Kindness of others is hugely helpful- it just is.

Please excuse how long this is. It's just an awfully good article, even if I'm not capable of writing well enough today to say clearly why it's so good. To me, it comes across as hopefull, does it to others? Perhaps it's just because it rings so true, I don't know.

 

[Tinyflame]

I agree 100 % with anni's post- that is exactly my experience too, and also my attitude towards dealling with it.
I find sometimes to remember (my) 'other life' (or the possibility for it) during or after a setback is very challenging. I think I could limit my setbacks somewhat if I could remember and have faith in that before I deteriorate or let my thoughts or emotions or run away with themselves (and 'me' along with them).
-(And of course- follow thru with trying to change those thoughts or emotions).