Severe Anger Issues

[Deleted member 29311]

@The Albatross Haha yeah I know what it is, I was just wondering how someone can have TOO much of it!

 

[The Albatross]

Yeah me too... but apparently the force is strong in me. I did heavy and light and power rings very easily too. It took two guys to pick me up one time for "heavy" and one guy said I was light as a feather for "light". They asked me about it (the masters) and I told them for heavy I was a tree and put down deep roots. For light I was a dandelion seed. Go figure, just an odd quirky thing really.

 

[Mallaky]

What helped me with my anger is a bit hard for me to put into words. But once I learned about PTSD and that the anger I have is just "a stream of information" and not my true self, it got alot easier for me to manage. Anger is not a permanent state, you know, at least for me.
I imagine it like being one of those little angel and devil dudes, sitting on a shoulder.

I respect my anger now, I believe it just trying to communicate me something, in a language that is very hard to understand. I try to work with it, instead of it letting work through me. Havent had an anger related incident for a long time now. I found, supressing it completely is a recipe for a disaster, makes it blow up. I cant pretend I am not angry, but I can try to rationalize it. "This makes me angry. We need to talk about this." you know.

Haha, this post sounds very enlightened. :D :D I am not.

 

[shimmerz]

Haha, this post sounds very enlightened. :D :D I am not.

:roflmao::hilarious::roflmao::hilarious: @Mallaky. You are hilarious! Thanks for the laugh. :giggle:

 

[Friday]

I don't think you were here, yet, when this article hit the forums...

It is essentially the shortcut to how I first learned to manage my anger years back, broken down step by step.

Dealing With Anger

The other piece, for me, was to learn when I was getting angry, instead of just exploding. Did it by buying a pallet (yes. pallet.) of cheap glassware. Every time I lost my temper for a few months I marched myself out to the garage, and threw glasses at a wall. Over time I learned to feel the anger coming on before I was actually in a blind rage, and I could go out there in a more relaxed state of mind. Ahem. That's comparatively. Eventually, I was able to "just" step back (take a timeout) and imagine the glasses and get my calm on. Later, to head out for a time out even earlier, at the first signs. And very eventually, to shift my anger / think on my feet / not even need the timeout 99% of the time.

 

[Weemie]

i think it's common for us to get so angry because our brains are always ready to engage, anger amps us up and gets us moving. only now there's nowhere to go. we get mad for survival and when the imperative is gone we just spin out.

 

[shimmerz]

Over time I learned to feel the anger coming on before I was actually in a blind rage, and I could go out there in a more relaxed state of mind.

Smart. Very smart. Doesn't surprise me.

 

[Care Bear]

@CollinM27 I just want to say to start that you are so awesome for being here and working on yourself. When I saw your profile picture I thought "can that really be the guy?" 23 years young and you're already so self-aware and ready for change? You gotta give yourself huge credit!

My younger brother sounds a lot like you in the anger department. His rarely comes out, but when it does it's huge. Mine is more like a steady fire, always burning, with short outbursts. The practice of mindfulness and meditation have worked well for me, as someone mentioned above, paying close attention to your body and knowing when you are close to going off and being ready with an alternate activity.

Then, of course, the fun part....finding out WHY this is happening. Whereas I have walked around for years pretty much being totally in touch with my out-of-control emotions, my brother did the opposite and stuffed it. Disassociated. He's in therapy trying to get in touch with it, but as soon as he starts to let a bit out, his body shuts off all emotions and he's unable to access them again. It's been a slow process.

Until you get to see your therapist, you also might want to try and do some activities that help you get in touch with your body. A lot of experts believe it's a key part of healing. Meditation helps, and yoga does, too. Beware, though, of just "going through the motions" of yoga...you have to actually *do* all the crazy breathing, energy feeling stuff they tell you to do. I did yoga all through my 20's but missed out on the great chance to connect with my body.

Best of luck to you and please keep us posted on your progress!

 

[Deleted member 29311]

@Care Bear @lightraze @FridayJones @Mallaky (hope I didn't forget anyone!) I just want to thank you guys for your replies. It helps so much to get any kind of feedback whether it's stories, tips or encouragement. You guys are honestly all awesome and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

I woke up today with another near 9 hour shift at work. Luckily I did my own thing, was away from cash all day and watered plants and stuff, in which I did a lot of thinking and was able to relax for a bit.

Oh I almost forgot to say, when I'm at work and I feel like I'm going to lose my cool, I walk away and go to the back of the store alone for a few minutes to recollect myself.

I pray that one day I can really feel somewhat at ease around people again and really be able to connect and care a lot more. I want to be able to not feel so on edge around people, to over analyze everything (people's body language, tone of voice, movements, eye contact, what they're saying, etc.), and just simply be. It'd be so nice to just be sitting in public, and just not feel as though someone is going to try and hit me, fight me or snap at me, and to not feel so on edge, annoyed and angry.

Anyways bless you all! I'll be sure to check out some of your posts and threads as well.

 

[Mallaky]

I pray that one day I can really feel somewhat at ease around people again and really be able to connect and care a lot more. I want to be able to not feel so on edge around people, to over analyze everything (people's body language, tone of voice, movements, eye contact, what they're saying, etc.), and just simply be. It'd be so nice to just be sitting in public, and just not feel as though someone is going to try and hit me, fight me or snap at me, and to not feel so on edge, annoyed and angry.

Yo! I feel you. This is one of the things that I really, really hope therapy will help me with. This hypervigilance around people is just so destructive and obstructive... I cant even go to the cinema without me being a complete nervous wreck afterwards. Forgett socialising. Public transport is awfull, shopping sucks, and I could go and on. This led to me totally and completely isolating myself. Luckily, I have an amazing partner, so I am not alone, but a friend or two sounds like a nice idea, lol. The friendships I had all broke down because of this.

When I went to socialize a bit, I stopped completely a year ago or so, it only works in 1 on 1 situations because of that. Add one person more and I cant deal. I guess that is because I feel the need to observe people, to not let them out of sight, so to speak.
Yeah, its a nightmare, and short of drugs nothing worked with me so far. As I said, my last hope is therapy.

 

[Ed Norton]

I was very reluctant to post but when I get very angry, I personally, watch Kenneth Copeland Farting videos. It's actually in my treatment plan with my T. You don't have to do that particular thing but it's helpful to engage in extremely silly light-hearted fun.

Although the advice given to you on this thread is excellent

 

[Nam]

You've got some good advice Collin. I used to get really angry, like scared of myself angry. I took a wet towel and smacked it on the pavement. Kinda annoying to the neighbors at night, but much better than hurting myself or others...or screaming my head off. The wet towel thing was just an accident. A kid left it out in the rain and it was just there. It has a very satisfying smack with water splats. Just don't hit yourself..it kinda hurts.