Sex: How Willing Should A Therapist Be To Talk About It?

[Adov]

I would agree with others in that you need to consider your approach to the subject. Is it necessary to mention the sexual act or the fantasy angle? Or could you just go with "I feel sexually worthless and it's inhibiting".

 

[Emov]

Is it necessary to mention the sexual act or the fantasy angle? Or could you just go with "I feel sexually worthless and it's inhibiting".

With therapists like this, who needs strangers?

I find the more details I get out, the more cleansed I feel afterwards. I need to be absolutely candid in therapy, or what's the point?

 

[Vepes]

Gas lighting is quite serious and I can't help but feel that these allegations may not be true perhaps based on a basic misunderstanding of exactly what gas lighting is. I think if gas lighting were actually happening in therapy, the fact that your therapist didn't want to hear about your solo sex life is the very least of your problems with her.

I'm still confused as to the basic premise of this thread.

Yes, you need to be able to talk about certain topics.

It's best to find a therapist who is open to hearing anything and everything, even if it's a play by play of BOB-time.

Is this meant to be a vent thread?

 

[Emov]

Her repeated insistence that I was imagining her avoidance is what I construed as gas lighting.

It's best to find a therapist who is open to hearing anything and everything, even if it's a play by play of BOB-time.

Yeah, it's best, but my insurance is very limited right now, and she was my great white hope.

Is this meant to be a vent thread?

This thread is meant to determine how willing a therapist should be to talk about sex, just like the title says.

 

[Ahup]

And the answer is that a therapist's willingness to talk about sex will vary... like all human being vary. Because these things are not static.

I don't think this is a "should".

 

[Iges]

With therapists like this, who needs strangers?

I find the more details I get out, the more cleansed I feel afterwards....

Adov here. Well you asked if it was apt to tell a therapist or a specific sex therapist. A sex therapist is interested in details. Imo it is not necessary that a psychotherapist or psychiatrist / psychologist hears the details of your sex life, rather they hear the trauma related issues. At least that's where my T stands DISTINCTLY

 

[Zige]

Therapists are not obligated to talk about anything that they chose not to and particularly when they can easily verify why, if in fact they do not, or if they are uncomfortable with the content or the way it is being presented. They can terminate therapy at any time if they feel they are unable to help you.

 

[Emov]

At least that's where my T stands DISTINCTLY

Congratulation to him/her for finding a way to weasel out of doing what you're paying them handsomely to do.

They can terminate therapy at any time if they feel they are unable to help you.

And I wish she would have terminated and told me she couldn't help me, but instead she kept denying her avoidance to the point where I felt like I was going crazy.

 

[Zazozun]

Congratulation to him/her for finding a way to weasel out of doing what you're paying them handsomely to do.

And I wish...

Adov here again, I'm sorry your T was disingenuous. My T is open to helping me enhance intimacy by reducing trauma related issues. But in the process they do not have to endure the details. Now let me elaborate a tad... My prior T I did give "tmi" so to speak. But she listened and never judged. I believe that's part of unconditional positive regard. I do by no.means intend to shame you here. God knows, therapy is difficult enough without feeling bad over bearing your most intimate. I'm just pointing out that for some, it can be more than they can deal with.

 

[Epaj]

Emov I am sorry that your attempts to work on this in therapy has turned out this way. Therapy is very hard and you do not deserve to be judged in therapy or here either. I do hear many people with many different perspectives and don't think there is a right and wrong answer. Certainly not every issue warrants a specialist in therapy, but some do and under some circumstances. I understand insurance issues as well. It may not be necessary to have a sex therapist but it is very important to have someone who you feel comfortable with and you can trust.

I regret that I have had a therapist that may not have directed me as much as possible, and with life chaos, I have not got to the trauma work that I wish I had. That hour goes fast and when you can only go one time per month or so, catching up on life events steal time and in the end are often irrelevent to what I have been there for. I don;t blame her for that though as I tend to think things are important at the time. I have also been cut off in marraige counseling by someone that I think is way too structured and controlling and therefore has missed things.

For me, since ptsd, I know that I find fault in professionals where I was so much less judgemental before. Maybe because it feels like I have so much riding on others doing what is promised and expected. I often feel like I don't matter so when overlooked or dismissed , it just validates my negative thoughts. I hope you know that even if this therapist has let you down, there are others that have a different syle and will be better suited and a better match for you and hope you find that person..

 

[Tegom]

Ahh, oh m gee, I talk about sex, masturbation, orgasms, etc. with my male therapist all the time. If I/someone else can talk to a therapist about rape, incest, molestation, sex addiction, and so on, they can handle, and even welcome! healthy sexual practices.

 

[Emov]

Ahh, oh m gee, I talk about sex, masturbation, orgasms, etc. with my male therapist all the time. If I/someone else can talk to a therapist about rape, incest, molestation, sex addiction, and so on, they can handle, and even welcome! healthy sexual practices.

Thank you.