Sex: How Willing Should A Therapist Be To Talk About It?

[Ide]

My money is on California!

They're a bit more liberal out there.

I'm guessing you're also a bit young, 20 something?

I hope that you expand your world view to realize that simply because you think things should be a certain way, doesn't make it so.

Just because you and your girlfriends talk about adult toys like its nothing doesn't mean that everyone is ok with this line of talk.

No health professional is required to do whatever you want them to do. Simple fact. This is why it's imperative to find a good match.

I see you making a lot of excuses. How about being pro-active and trying to find a therapist that suits your needs?

 

[Emov]

I hope that you expand your world view to realize that simply because you think things should be a certain way, doesn't make it so.

Maybe, but I still contend that she was in fact triggered, and it had really nothing to do with old fashioned values or decorum.

 

[Doro]

Your therapist sucks.

 

[Ramema]

It doesn't sound like she was triggered though, the reaction you described sounds more like discomfort than being triggered - at least it sounds nothing like the flight/fight/freeze response I associate with being triggered.

I also wonder what reaction you were looking for from her in going into such detail about your use of a vibrator and describing the sexual fantasy you were having. It's possible to talk about sexual unworthiness without the level of detail you describe which makes me wonder why it's so important for you to describe in detail what you were doing?

 

[Emov]

the reaction you described sounds more like discomfort than being triggered

Keep in mind that she's sitting in her place of work as a "professional" trying to maintain composure and do her job. Of course she was stifling it as best she could -- she didn't want me to know that she was triggered.

why it's so important for you to describe in detail what you were doing?

It's important because I am attempting to go in to and explore the sexual unworthiness complex, and that's the situation that activates the complex. If you have a phobia of snakes you're trying to overcome, you would talk about your encounter with a snake and what you though and felt -- right? Why would you only talk about snake phobia in general terms?

 

[Eji]

she didn't want me to know that she was triggered.

Have you asked her if she was triggered, or did she tell you she was triggered? In the absence of her telling you what was going on for her, you simply don't know and are mind reading. It's possibly easier for you to think she was triggered than recognise she may just have been uncomfortable at your description of your sexual activity, or that she was actually ok with it (given that's what she did say).

 

[Emov]

Have you asked her if she was triggered, or did she tell you she was triggered?

Looks like someone is posting without reading through the thread.

Your therapist sucks.

Good to see someone here call a spade a spade for a change.

 

[Olekaw]

I actually had a counsellor who regularly changed the subject on me, by going (loudly) "so..." then asking something totally unrelated to what I was talking about (not sex). I didn't take long ditching her.

 

[Emov]

I actually had a counsellor who regularly changed the subject on me, by going (loudly) "so..." then asking something totally unrelated to what I was talking about (not sex). I didn't take long ditching her.

Let me guess, you were talking about something emotionally laden, maybe a little uncomfortable (IOW, what we go to therapy to talk about) and she'd change the subject to something lighter and easier for her to listen to?

 

[Uzaja]

Yep, cause just like your one, she was incompetent and wanted to give herself easy sessions.

 

[Onasu]

Hmmm it really makes you think...
finding the right therapist is a bit like finding the right partner - someone who gets you.
i had some pretty bad experiences before I found the right one for me. I look back in horror a bit at how wide open I was with the first couple I saw, who were actually harmful - I trusted them just because they were called therapists.
It's a godsend though when you do find the right one. I hope you do soon!

 

[Emov]

finding the right therapist is a bit like finding the right partner - someone who gets you.

No, it's not. It's finding someone who simply does the job they're paid to do -- just like clerks, cabdrivers, and candlestick makers -- without playing games.