Sex Offender As Therapist?!

[sedna]

Oh, even worse, Psychology Today had given him a giant green check mark at the top of EVERY SING...

I'm seeing a friend that is a LMFT tomorrow, he's been on that list, I'm going to ask what the deal is to put your practice on it.

I'm sorry you have to deal with that, remember though, you're your own man. There's nothing about him that changes who you are.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

Thank you Coco.

By the way, I know a number of therapists at both the MA and PhD levels, and they were all horrified to learn about this stuff. They could not fathom how he got this far.

One therapist, in particular, said this was devastating because a therapist education teaches you all the 'tricks', how to break down client defenses and even manipulate the client to head the direction you have in mind. And, it teaches you how to wall off your affect so as to hide it from others. All necessary skills for a therapist, but devastating for someone who preys on people.

Ben

 

[sedna]

No, Eve, you don't sound horrible. Not at all. I am also a CSA survivor, and I relate to your st...

Depending on where his trial was, you can access the details if you want. Since the girl was a minor, technically the details will be sealed, but not the charges.
You'd be surprised what you can come up with that is " technically unavailable" to the public. On the flip side of that, I've been horrified by information on abuse of minors being accessible to the public when I didnt understand how it could have legally happened and its not being changed. I've seen detailed accounts of molestation charges in court files, offender registries, in the case of it being a family member, its stated in the charges.

That can mean a father who molests his daughter is named, the charges listed and actual court testimony of the molestation. Now the daughter knows that anyone who googles the sex offender list, recognizes the dad, can follow the links and see what happened to her. They'll know who she is also. There's one particular case of this that has been bugging me for years and I cant figure out how to get the court file off google. I know the man, his daughter was 9 when went he went to trial.

You can look up court files online in many cases. Its mostly to do with how up to date the websites are and not always legal guidelines.

It might be something you dont want or need to know, but if he was in CA not Virginia and did 6 years for that , there was probably more to the story. Prison is all full up in our State.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

I did order his arrest records - which gave me some extra information, like the fact that he was living under an alias and hiding out - but I never ordered his court records. I tried, but there were a lot of hoops to jump through and I got tired.

I am in California, the crimes occurred in Colorado, and now he is in Virginia, so pulling all the files is difficult. If I could afford an attorney, I'd get one to do it, just for my peace of mind. I'd feel better knowing all the details.

Ben

 

[Rumors]

I'm just wondering, but have you spoken with him since he went to prison or went to college? As well, what happened to him that he would have possibly molested your brother when they both were so young. He learned this behavior somewhere. Is it possible that he had some trauma? Is it possible he decided he didn't want to be that person anymore and wanted to help people?
See truthfully I struggle with my above scenario bc I am a csa survivor. I don't want to believe people can change....but they do. Certainly I am not suggesting he has, but I think it deserves investigation. If you investigate and find that he is a sleeve bucket then proceed on. If you investigate and find that he himself was a victim of child sexual assault and finally got help and is trying to help others with trauma so they don't make the same mistakes, I think you have to rethink what you are doing.
Just my opinion. My brother is a councillor as well. He was a step above a piece of shit for a lot of years. He was an alcoholic, liar and I don't know exactly what he did with his personal time but my guess is he spent some unscrupulous time in bath houses in Europe doing who know what with who know how old. The only difference between your brother and mine was that your brother got caught. He finally went to rehab and dealt with his issues and when he came out he decided to go back to school and become a councillor. When he became a lcsw I thought "gosh..sad state of affairs for that industry to have him..." But in reality, he is thriving. Finally able to give something back and do something that actually makes a difference. Now, does he have a big ego and is he ego driven, yes BUT nevertheless he is a contributing part of society and had the option been up to me I wouldn't have given him a chance. Wanted to share my story.... Proceed with great caution bc not everyone is out there doing the right thing...

 

[Deleted member 29920]

He sounds like a dangerous sociopath, I'm appalled they allow this :(

It reminds me of my main abuser, she's not been convicted. She does holistic therapies though and I don't know if there's a way of stopping her.

 

[Gs172003]

It's hard to know how to answer your questions, because he hasn't been honest with our family ab...

. Once again alert the police to everything you said here.

 

[scout86]

Kind of a major red flag to me is that he's chosen to pursue a career where he's not eligible to be licenced (and for good reasons). I'm thinking that a person who had truly changed and accepted responsibility for his actions would GET the nature of the problems with what he's doing. If he's really changed, I could understand him wanting to work with offenders, to help them make the same change, but someone who really gets that what he did is a crime, and a real problem, would respect victims enough not to trick them into being clients.

I don't know exactly how this works where he's at. If where he can live is restricted who he can associate with and how it's probably restricted as well. If he gets caught "coaching" minors unsupervised, it's possible he could go to jail for that. But I'm not sure.

 

[Suzetig]

I am in California, the crimes occurred in Colorado, and now he is in Virginia, so pulling all the files is difficult. If I could afford an attorney, I'd get one to do it, just for my peace of mind. I'd feel better knowing all the details.

This may seem like a silly question but I'm wondering why your peace of mind is so dependent on this situation being resolved? I understand all your concerns and it seems like you've acted in them as far as you can - what would it take for you to feel you had done enough?

He's been through an MA and doctorate programme presumably being trained and supervised by people who knew about his offences, he is choosing to practice, possibly out with the terms of his restrictions but no-one really knows what his offence was or what the terms of his release were, so we can only surmise about that. Licensing boards aren't approving him and presumably his own publicity doesn't claim that he's a licensed practitioner.

I guess I'm left wondering what your responsibility is here. You can't stop him practicing, he isn't claiming to be something he isn't and clients will chose to see someone licensed, or not, as they see fit. Of course there are concerns but it feels a bit like you've made it your job to make sure he doesn't work as a therapist which, from where I'm sitting, could just leave you with the same wounds never healing. Which is why I'm wondering what would it take for you to find peace.

 

[Gs172003]

Remember, you aren't ruining him.

He chose to take on all that debt.

You are choosing to save...

Agreed. If he was legit he wouldn't be trying to get around the system and he would be in a practice not alone.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@Suzetig, you bring up an amazing point!

For me personally, its easy to latch on to something and obsess over it. I get the issue and I get why you would want to constantly discredit him. But where do you stop and focus more on yourself and where does he get to stay in this field in some way?

I also agree with @joeylittle, have a conversation with him and mark out all of your concerns with him and maybe he can understand them (since he's a conselor now) and maybe even put some to ease. Such as he's not working with minors, or possibly even still being supervised in some way that you dont know about.

Im not saying to be ok with this, I dont think any other CSA suvivor would be or act any different and you do seem calculated and holding a lot of restraint and thats wonderful. But one needs to ask themself, what if you cant stop him. At what point do you focus on you more and not obsess over him?

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

Rumors, I have spoken with him. He claims he was never abused.

In fact, he has castigated me for saying I have PTSD and DID due to CSA. He said my claims and diagnoses prove immaturity on my part, a willingness to blame others, and a failure to take responsibility for my own life.

Sounds like projection, to me.

In addition, he continues to lie about his crimes and conviction.

Ben