Sex With Therapist

[Ahuj]

:) That made me laugh!

 

[Akoz]

:) That made me laugh!

Well, she's pretty hot! Not to mention all of her other great qualities:p

 

[Tikona]

Sex with a therapist is extremely damaging. I know, I've done it twice.

 

[Idufe]

Ok, ok I'm sorry! I just have the desire that's all. I don't get it, but I do.

 

[Ucace]

I don't get it, but I do.

Erotic transference

 

[Fanit]

In other words, isn't it possible I am too nuts to interpret and relay info about our interactions? Isn't it possible that because of my nearly constant state of dissociation in therapy that I'm completely misinterpreting what is going on?

You can test this out with your new therapist - it's fair to think that you might dissociate in session with them, do you have a sense of what's happening in session there? If you have been dissociative with your usual T, all the more reason for him the be absolutely crystal clear in his boundaries because you're in a vulnerable place.

He should also take your near constant dissociation as a sign that he's working out with your tolerance level and slow down the pace and intensity of the work to allow you to be present.

For you to be thinking "maybe I'm too nuts to know" smacks of something very unhealthy in his relationship with you. Instead of letting you question your own mind and sanity, he could have explored why you felt he had left the door open to having sex with him, and then closed it firmly. It sounds like he's playing with you. Hopefully your new T can help you find your feet again.

 

[Nijune]

Sex with clients is against the code of ethics for therapists. If they are caught, they would lose their license and likely face jail time.

 

[Dopun]

As others have said it's unethical (and sometimes illegal) for a therapist to have sex with their clients. If they were a member of an accrediting body they would be struck off. In addition ethical therapists should be in "supervision" which means they have sessions with another experienced therapist to discuss their client work... to flag up possible ethical issues ahead of time. This means the therapist was not being honest with their supervisor, or didn't have one.... both of which are regarded as unethical. In a UK survey of ethical breaches it was found that sexual relationships between therapist and client were ALWAYS detrimental to the client and associated with the therapists inability to maintain boundaries and self-reflect.... a crucial part of being a therapist.

However this does not mean there is no touch..... but it should only be appropriate to the relationship and after trust has been built so both parties know why it is happening and can talk about it's meaning. The difficulty of doing this is why some therapists and associations take a dim view of any touch.

Erotic transference is very powerful.... I have found the best way to work through my own issues with touch was to go to dance classes. With the support of my therapist I could go to classes, set appropriate boundaries (just the classes no meeting fellow classmates outside the class etc) and then feel the pull of the transference in a "safe enough" space..... after a while I was able to de-sensitise to the erotic transference enough to see the real person instead of my transferential projection on them. this helped me see how I tended to be pulled toward people with their own issues.

I found this very useful..... but doing it without support or boundaries is like playing russian roulette with every chamber loaded.

 

[Adu]

Funny, I have had fantasies and felt an incredibly strong attraction but realize it is never gonna happen cuz
1. she is in a committed relationship as am I
2. She is devoted to being an ethical therapist and would never risk hurting me, nor would I risk hurting her career. We call that ethics.
3. The amazing person who is there for me every week because I pay her is not remotely interested in sex with me. It is MY fantasy so I keep it in check
4. Healing from sexual abuse does not mean have more f*d up sex

If you think you can have a "cathartic" episode by screwing your therapist, you, my dear, are in a big pile of denial.

 

[Ijin]

Funny, I have had fantasies and felt an incredibly strong attraction but realize it is never gonna happen cuz
1. she is in...

Good for you that you have a lovely and healthy therapeutic relationship. I am curious, what is the purpose of going into such depth about how great your therapy relationship is? It's a little cruel and snarky don't you think?
If someone comes to you with a complex problem with their marriage do you respond by telling a story about how easy and perfect marriage is for you? If so, do you think that's helpful or do you realize how condescending that might sound?

I think your suggestion of denial is very simplistic and not at all what is going on. I think this thread was written from a child/adolescent-part that doesn't have adult perspective. This is much more complex than you clearly understand.

May I suggest you bring up your condescension and lack of understanding trauma to your therapist to help give you some perspective. It might pull you right out of your own denial about what helping someone really looks like.

 

[Otawawas]

May I suggest you bring up your condescension and lack of understanding trauma to your therapist to help give you some perspective. It might pull you right out of your own denial about what helping someone really looks like.

Just wow. Thinking you need to take your meds.

 

[Ginan]

Anot

Just wow. Thinking you need to take your meds.

Another snarky condescending remark. Lol. You are so helpful. Please. Keep posting. You are great.