Sex With Therapist

[Zikewi]

I actually got ahold of Bessel Van Dr Kolk who has written a lot of books about trauma. His sessions are expensive but I think I'm going to see him a few times.
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Gosh, I am jealous. Let us know how that goes.

My husband and friends hardly know I see a therapist. They would never say I had boundary issues or any issues really, except maybe I'm too controlled. I'm essentially two completely separate people it seems.
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Oh, I relate. And I am so bad when it comes to therapy that I literally can't do it. The more symptomatic I am the more impossible it seems. I haven't been able to get back into it in years. I am a mess as soon as walk through the door.



To be clear I meant boundaries in therapy because of the way sex plays out for you in these situations. You may not have wobbly boundaries in the rest of your life. You haven't given details of that here so there isn't any way we would know.



I don't think just leaving trauma when one is traumatised in an option. Its horrendous and no one deserves to live with this. You deserve help and the right type of help. It will be interesting to see how you feel about the trauma therapists.



This is the order of importance for me when it comes to therapy, for me:

Trauma specialist who has extra training in trauma and has experience in it (not just a case of has treated people with ptsd as to me that says nothing).

Uses a combination of approaches that suits my comfort zone and is helpful to me specifically (won't go into details here),
Personality match for me where I feel comfortable.
Not time limited.
Not overly religious.

Good luck.

 

[Gudude]

Curious too to know how much Bessel charges.

 

[Ogac]

Aconun here, yes to all and then some in #132 I have.

I posted #49 also, where you responded

The insight here is incredible. You and Sufef may have hit the right target

I mean you no harm. PTSD issues intertwine in a lot of life issues, in fact to me that's what makes it so difficult, including not being able, sometimes, to ask for what we need, or go about getting it in the best of ways. No judgement.

It sounds like you are progressing along very well, with good self awareness and proactive decision making.

 

[Hekeh]

Are you married? Are you bored? Are you jealous of him, or his wife?

Why would any of this matter?

Do you feel you don't get attention in your marriage? How's your sex life? Do you want out of your marriage?

Or this?

Erotic transference does not happen for these reasons. It would be a good idea of researching erotic transference and coutertransference.

I had sex with two therapists and it had zero to do with any of these questions.

Here is a great quote from a site for the IP:

You are not “in love” with your psychotherapist; you are obsessed with the idea that another person can give you what has been missing in your life because of what your parents—especially your father—failed to give you in your childhood.

Psychotherapy : Erotic Transference

Yes I just asked because I have a very rich and powerful relative that sleeps with other peoples spouses because its all she doesnt have.

I sleep with married men and it has ZERO to do with them "having what I don't".

 

[Ginan]

Curious too to know how much Bessel charges.

$325 an hour

 

[Ginan]

$325 an hour

Actually I was told $285 in Dec and now it's $325. Don't know if there's a sliding scale. I am not given any breaks based on income.

 

[Ipa]

Even at that rate I would be willing to pay it just to have a few sessions with Bessel, but I won't even let my T use my diagnosis when he submits to insurance, to schedule a session with him would be accepting the diagnosis publicly, admitting it to family and friends and I am not ready for that. O course my family knows nothing of my traumas as I have never told them and most likely never will.

 

[Ginan]

Why would any of this matter?



Or this?

Erotic transference does not happen for these reasons. It would be a good id...

Why do you do it?

 

[Zikewi]

O course my family knows nothing of my traumas as I have never told them and most likely never will.

Glad (but s...[/QUOTE]

I have to say I would have thought he would even be more.

 

[Zikewi]

O course my family knows nothing of my traumas as I have never told them and most likely never will.

Glad (and sorry) that I am not the only one. It is changing though.

 

[Pegav]

Thanks @Hekeh , for the info.

it has ZERO to do with them

I think there was a misunderstanding, I wasn't meaning that's everyone's reason, just one possible one-she says it's her's.

 

[Luda]

Im realizing that's not true because the new therapist I talked to was SO supportive I instantly cried. Such a foreign feeling.

I'm really psyched for you about this.

It's always good for all of us to remember - sometimes we have to take the next step in order to confirm that we are heading in the right direction - instead of trying to feel that sense of confirmation before taking the action.

Bessel sounds exciting too :)