Could you then pick out the cognitive distortions @NatBird ?
And is denying suicide has negative repercussions not the Biggest denial..?
(Ps, I like your descriptions, visuals or tie-ins help memory. :tup: )
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Shaming voice (inner critic) & suicidality
- Post starter NatBird
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Could you then pick out the cognitive distortions @NatBird ?
And is denying suicide has negative repercussions not the Biggest denial..?
(Ps, I like your descriptions, visuals or tie-ins help memory. :tup: )
- Post starter
- #14
Do you mean the last one @NatBird ? :confused:
If that, I suppose I just mean there's possibly (self)- minimization when thinking of it or planning it or reasoning in relation to ourselves, vs what we feel about others if they feel that way, and/ or vs others who are not inclined or tempted to (thankfully)- a blunting or denial of sorts in relation to self (vs how we feel about the same thing when it isn't us/ affects others? Because it would still affect others/ not as different as it seems.) Sort of unintentional not-registering/ not conscious.
If that, I suppose I just mean there's possibly (self)- minimization when thinking of it or planning it or reasoning in relation to ourselves, vs what we feel about others if they feel that way, and/ or vs others who are not inclined or tempted to (thankfully)- a blunting or denial of sorts in relation to self (vs how we feel about the same thing when it isn't us/ affects others? Because it would still affect others/ not as different as it seems.) Sort of unintentional not-registering/ not conscious.
- Post starter
- #16
@Junebug thank you for clarifying.
joeylittle
Sponsor
@NatBird - this one:
Dead Link Removed, Matthew McKay
They do one specifically for PTSD. I'm not familiar with that one - but any that are in this series will be great.
Dead Link Removed, Matthew McKay
They do one specifically for PTSD. I'm not familiar with that one - but any that are in this series will be great.
- Post starter
- #18
@joeylittle thank you:)
I like to use three strategies with the critical inner voice.
1. When the voice happens I say to myself, "Ahh, there is that critical voice again."
You can say similar responses like,
"Ahh, that is the voice of shame." something like that. I personally like the "ahh" part. This means I am an interested observer of this voice in my brain. I am not pushing it away, fighting it, judging it. I am simply acknowledging its presence. This creates an intellectual distancing.
2. I find that I can control my reaction to the voice. When you have a symptom happening inside of you, in this case a critical inner voice, there is a reaction to the symptom. You can call this reaction an automatic reaction. Automatic reactions almost always include judgements and they feel reactive.
For example here are some automatic reactions that I have had to my inner voice.
Why am I having this voice? I feel so defeated.
This voice is right. I suck at everything.
I hate my life. I just want to die.
These are all reactions to the voice. Notice how they are judging the voice? What I like to do is choose my reaction. Instead of the automatic reactions or autopilot, knee jerk reactions, I can choose mindfulness response actions. These actions include labeling the voice, "Ahh, that is the voice of critism." rating the voice. "This voice is really loud today. Like a 10 in loudness." And any other mindfulness that is grounding. Like using your senses to externally ground yourself.
3. The third strategy I use is self validation. I could not just do this until I watched the DBT video on the 6 levels of validation by DBT Peer Connections.
I use the "validate by current situation" level. I will say to myself, "It is understandable that you feel bad because that critical voice is trying so hard to be heard." Or the validate by history. "It is understandable that you would hear this voice with many insults and judgements because these are the voices you heard as a child."
These validating statements are simple and effective and they do not require much self love which I do not have at the moment.
1. When the voice happens I say to myself, "Ahh, there is that critical voice again."
You can say similar responses like,
"Ahh, that is the voice of shame." something like that. I personally like the "ahh" part. This means I am an interested observer of this voice in my brain. I am not pushing it away, fighting it, judging it. I am simply acknowledging its presence. This creates an intellectual distancing.
2. I find that I can control my reaction to the voice. When you have a symptom happening inside of you, in this case a critical inner voice, there is a reaction to the symptom. You can call this reaction an automatic reaction. Automatic reactions almost always include judgements and they feel reactive.
For example here are some automatic reactions that I have had to my inner voice.
Why am I having this voice? I feel so defeated.
This voice is right. I suck at everything.
I hate my life. I just want to die.
These are all reactions to the voice. Notice how they are judging the voice? What I like to do is choose my reaction. Instead of the automatic reactions or autopilot, knee jerk reactions, I can choose mindfulness response actions. These actions include labeling the voice, "Ahh, that is the voice of critism." rating the voice. "This voice is really loud today. Like a 10 in loudness." And any other mindfulness that is grounding. Like using your senses to externally ground yourself.
3. The third strategy I use is self validation. I could not just do this until I watched the DBT video on the 6 levels of validation by DBT Peer Connections.
I use the "validate by current situation" level. I will say to myself, "It is understandable that you feel bad because that critical voice is trying so hard to be heard." Or the validate by history. "It is understandable that you would hear this voice with many insults and judgements because these are the voices you heard as a child."
These validating statements are simple and effective and they do not require much self love which I do not have at the moment.
- Post starter
- #20
@Scarlet13 thank you so much. really helpful. going to look for that video.
Healing developmental Trauma from Lawrence Heller
I am not sure if this book is helpful as it is no work book. But, it points out attachment issues, survival styles and relationship trauma.
The “Trauma-Focused Turn” in Critical Psychology - Laura K. Kerr ...
I am not sure if this book is helpful as it is no work book. But, it points out attachment issues, survival styles and relationship trauma.
The “Trauma-Focused Turn” in Critical Psychology - Laura K. Kerr ...
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PointlessExistence
Silver Member
I have the voice. After a few months on lamotrigine it finally kind of left. I still wasn't fully functional though, so I pushed the doc to put me on topiramate too. And now ----- the voice is back. It's unrelenting, and I just try to avoid it...to no avail.
I can't even concentrate long enough to read beyond the first post on this thread. I'm just posting out of anxiety - anything to temporarily stop the voice. I just want to try to give the full dose (200mg) of topiramate a full month so I can say I gave it a try, but the voice is about as bad as it's been at any point in my life.
JEKBreatheandBelieve
Diamond Member
I am suffering from an inner critic at the moment too. It's very shaming. I like DBT (though I hated it at first) and I find that challenging cognitive distortions helps to soften the critic's voice and thus it's power over me. It looks like you have gotten a lot of good advice on here already. Keep working on it and hopefully you will gain more power.
- Post starter
- #24
@JEKBreatheandBelieve thanks for the signpost and the encouraging words. Wishing you well with continuing to tame the critic.
Have you tried any of the resources recommened on this post?
*sorry to hear*
@PointlessExistence I'm to hear the impact it's having on you. I can relate spending time just trying to dodge it.
Have you tried any of the resources recommened on this post?
*sorry to hear*
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