Should I?

[shimmerz]

I went through this with a different drug Desi. I am so angry for you! I am so glad you found this information. I think it is okay if you don't know or not, but now you are aware that it may be a potential cause. That, I would imagine, isn't a bad thing to know. You poor thing....all of this....I am so sorry.

 

[desiderata310]

I texted my therapist. Waiting on him to reply.
I may need "more help and intervention" as he said but I think that I should cut this shit out for now.
This does not solve my insomnia problem.
I don't know what to do now.

 

[shimmerz]

I think your idea is good about texting him. I hope he does respond. I would say with a black box warning and signs that match the 'contact your dr immediately if....' part, myself, I wouldn't wait to stop ingesting it....although I think it read do not stop taking all at the same time right? Can you go to a clinic? They can maybe help you determine how to decrease properly?

 

[desiderata310]

My therapist's response was that I wasn't taking enough to make a difference

 

[shimmerz]

What are your thoughts on that?

 

[shimmerz]

How long have you been taking it Desi?

 

[desiderata310]

I don't know. Off and on for the tail end of Jan, a little during Feb. Ramped up in the last week or so because I was having trouble sleeping.
I don't know.
Maybe I should just up the dose and try to sleep.

 

[shimmerz]

Jeez, I wish I could give you sound advice on this one but I just can't, as you know. I worry about a few things here. Maybe I am mistaken, but I have been looking at your past posts to see if I can see a trend. You seemed to really slide this past week and a bit before, around the time you went to your t's and couldn't get in the way you usually do. I don't know how long you haven't been sleeping for and if it is nightmares that are keeping you awake or just 'being unable to sleep'. I worry about ramping it up for you, but then you do need sleep. I wish there was an alternative med you could use for the night.....it worries me, but you know better what has been going on.

 

[desiderata310]

He told me to take more.
I don't know.
The worst that happens is I kill myself.

 

[shimmerz]

That is a pretty serious outcome. Then I can't come to visit you.

 

[shimmerz]

I back you no matter what you do Desi.

 

[desiderata310]

insult to injury:
I called the office to try to talk to the Dr who origionally perscribed the Trazodone because before he perscribed it he had recommended that I go to the ER to be admitted for insomnia. I wanted to talk to him about that and see if it could still happen or if I needed him to call on my behalf first.

That was 4 hours ago.

I got a return call just now. Someone calling with a refill for the Trazodone and wanting to make an appointment for me to see them again. I explained that it wasn't helping with my sleep issues and that this was not why I had asked for the return call.
Pretty much she tried to get me to go in to see them tonight since they are open till 8.

I hung up on her.

I am going to go and take 200 mg of trazodone and see if it makes me more crazy or less. I promised. I promised not to do anything for 72 hours. I promised not to kill myself for 72 hours.

I will honor that.