General Simple question, why does therapy make you feel worse?

[EveHarrington]

Everyone’s situation is different though because every person handles their trauma in a diff...

Well I wouldn’t be a Pollyanna like you either and give false hope!

Again, you haven’t been in actual trauma therapy...

 

[Friday]

I simply wanted to ask.. why does therapy sometimes make you feel worse?

Trauma therapy is different from every other kind of therapy out there that I’m familiar with, both academically and personally.

Of the ones I’ve done personally, there’s a pretty broad spectrum of different types of therapy. ADHD, Marriage&Family, Addiction&Alcohol, Eating Disorders, etc. ... every other kind of therapy I know of? You usually leave feeling better. There might be a hard session here and there, but it’s a lot like getting a massage, you come in sore and cramped and feeling awful, but can generally count on feeling better :smug: Ah! I feel human again! <bliss> when you walk out. Even if you’re not at 100%, and it takes many many many sessions with the massage therapist, you just keep feeling better, and the more you go the better you feel. Some people only do massage following a car accident and screwing up their back, other people incorporate it into their exercise & wellness program. But from day 1, it’s very much a benefit in their life.

Trauma therapy is a lot more like having a badly healed broken bone rebroken so it can heal right this time. And then a series of painful surgeries to repair the damaged muscles, tendons, and ligaments. And then a long course of painful physical therapy to get use of the limb back. And then an even longer course of slowly rebuilding their strength and skills. At the end of the process you’re infinitely better than at the beginning, but the beginning? Things are about to get much, much, much worse... for awhile. And even once things start to get better, there’s a long road & a lot of pain still in front of you.

 

[Gs172003]

Trauma therapy is different from every other kind of therapy out there that I’m familiar with, both ac...

OMG yes. I haven't even been that far into it yet ( six months) and yes. God. Yes.

 

[MyWillow]

Wow @Friday your last paragraph nailed it for me. Although I've got nothing to compare it to. We're only working on stabilization, current stressors, avoidance and containment again. Therapy hangover lasts for a week, I have a few days to focus on being normal and productive and then back into it again. I've got some long, long term stuff to deal with so slow is the only way. Last year I tried to push through it ASAP and boy did that end badly. My T has put her foot down...which takes some doing with me lol

 

[Stephernovas]

Ha. I've been so messed up since this all started. It's been different phases of messed up though. For a while my brain was super scrambled. Then, just after Christmas time up until a few days ago I was in a depressive state. There were days I would have an emotional hangover that lasted a few days, where my mood dipped even lower. As well, because my body is STILL working on recovering from my accident it adds an additional degree of feeling crappy. It's all a lengthy process of change. Sometimes it's going to look ugly, and sometimes you're going to feel great. (I always associate things with body transformations because I feel people can identify with it better) Consider you're overweight and you decided you want to lose weight and gain muscle. That journey and lifestyle change is going to be hard. There will be good days, a few slips, some bad days and some days you don't even know what's going on. But, the more and more you do it and practice and all that fun stuff, (eventually) the easier it gets and (hopefully) you get to a point where you can become the new you (you don't want to be your old self) - you are now free to be the person who isn't weighed down by their trauma. Someone who hasn't forgotten what happened to them, but you are a person who has overcome this awful event and changed into one badass mother*cker who enjoys life again.

 

[Freida]

@Friday that is the best description ever! I'm bookmarking it for future reference

 

[BoyfriendqwithPTSD]

Thanks all for your replies.
With my so, I’m not completely sure what therapy he is receiving.
To be honest I haven’t really asked or spoken to him about it. I let him speak to me about it, if he wants.

From what he has told me, he’s doing a lot of ‘re-living’ trauma, and talking about his thoughts when he does feel symptomatic.

However I have noticed that he has increasingly felt worse after every session.
He’s spoken in particular about vivid dreams (dreams about his loved ones being murdered infront of him, someone murdering him, being chased etc) and also waking up in the middle of the night screaming, sweating. His moods have been very fluctuating, but mainly he has just felt a lot worse in terms of symptoms.

 

[Stephernovas]

If he’s being asked to discuss the trauma each session, it could be exposure therapy. That’s left me feeling super rotten many times.

 

[BoyfriendqwithPTSD]

Well I know he’s had to present a timeline of traumatic events. Discuss feelings and thoughts. He’s done this for a few sessions. I think he also works on managing his thoughts and relaxation methods.

Like mention above he’s felt a lot more down after his session.
Recently however he’s been increasingly cold towards me, at times like a stranger and that’s only with me. He’s been increasingly numb in regards to feelings with me, almost outright mean. Just very blunt and cold. Could this be due to PTSD/ aftermath of Therapy as it makes you feel a lot worse?

I am working on myself too so I feel calmer. However I’ll speak to him at times and it’s like speaking to someone who almost... hates me? Or just has no empathy, no feeling. Naturally that will hurt a little.

 

[Freida]

Yep...for me the last 4 or 5 months have been increasingly worse and memories are more and more violent. I come home and sleep sometimes for 12 hours and can't communicate with anyone for about 2 days. Hubby knows to leave me alone because I'm shut down. If he forces me to talk with him about anything I'm going to just walk off.

 

[BoyfriendqwithPTSD]

Thanks yet again Freida for sharing your experience.

It’s members like yourself and so many others that give me some sort of comfort in my day.
Thank you

 

[MyWillow]

I simply cannot share with my partner what's going on. Because he can't possibly understand. Bizarrely one of my puppy buyers was here for dinner tonight. He is secret service, but on lower level security now. He shared some stuff, I shared some stuff and it was just WOW. I have NEVER been so honest with someone in person but he got it. Both from screwed up families but add training to his experience. His partner and mine left us to it bless them.