Sister Is Ill, But Is Also No Contact With Me

[mamachick]

I am so sorry white raven. I just saw this post and its been going on a bit now. I totally understand how complicated this situation can be. Five girls in our family and the 3rd passed in June, the one left I am estranged from. Her decision but its been 7 yrs and Im fine with it. It still pours over to other family members. You are sick, and need to nurture yourself now. Im sure your mom sharing what is going on is adding further stress. I hope you have some support there for yourself. Sending you big hugs if thats ok. (((()))))

 

[whiteraven]

the one left I am estranged from. Her decision but its been 7 yrs and Im fine with it.

Oh, yeah...I was fine with mine, too. You just get to a point where you have to let go. But now, as you said, it is spilling over in a way. I am nearly totally out of the picture. I guess I still don't care she won't have anything to do with me, but because of that, I can't help the other family members.

You are sick, and need to nurture yourself now. Im sure your mom sharing what is going on is adding further stress. I hope you have some support there for yourself.

Thank you. It *is* adding additional stress, but I want her to call me, because I think she needs my support. I have no one at this point, and I'm guessing that makes it harder.

 

[beaneeboo]

I've just read this post for the first time today... I'm so sorry @whiteraven ..I can relate and could actually feel some of those emotions you described going through all of this...I recognise so many of your family dynamics in my own and like you, I'm also the one who's been pushed out of my sister's life, seemingly for no reason to do with me... same dynamic between my sister and mum as yours too...

I don't have had words of wisdom, but wanted you to know you aren't alone, you haven't done anything to be deserving of this and, like someone else said, this is sadly all about your sister... so you have very little control... the only thing you can do is decide your own boundaries with it all.. with you mum in relation to talking about it etc.. and hold your head high by reminding yourself none of this is your choice... it is very unfair... are there other things you can put your energy into to distract yourself from it?

 

[whiteraven]

I've just read this post for the first time today... I'm so sorry @whiteraven ..I can relate and could actually feel some of those emotions you described going through all of this...I recognise so many of your family dynamics in my own and like you, I'm also the one who's been pushed out of my sister's life, seemingly for no reason to do with me... same dynamic between my sister and mum as yours too...

I don't have had words of wisdom, but wanted you to know you aren't alone, you haven't done anything to be deserving of this and, like someone else said, this is sadly all about your sister... so you have very little control... the only thing you can do is decide your own boundaries with it all.. with you mum in relation to talking about it etc.. and hold your head high by reminding yourself none of this is your choice... it is very unfair... are there other things you can put your energy into to distract yourself from it?

Thank you, @beaneeboo! I'm sorry you can relate--it's really hard. I have to say, though, things have improved (for me, anyway) a bit. My brother and I had a long talk, and he told me everything he knows. Then, he and my mom got together, and we talked about what we thought should happen when my sister is ready to get out of the hospital. We don't want her to go to my mom's because she doesn't do anything her medical team asks her to do and she is really hateful most of the time to my mom. We're still talking, but I think we just about have my mom convinced that this is not her fault and she also needs to take care of herself.