Small Town Anxiety

[Deleted member 31998]

Everything is looking bright; sitting on cushy EI, working part time which will be full time in the fall, looking forward to two vacations, life is good. Yet the town I live in is small. The sign says population of 86000, but I keep seeing the same people everywhere. They are not good people and I find myself getting stressed from it, regardless of ignoring it. Most of the people who I speak of knew me when I was overworked, very stressed and not in a good place. I did burn some bridges, but it being somewhat small, word can spread and people choose to dwell in the past.

For those who want to move on, its hard. I keep going on but I wonder how many of you feel this way; seeing the same people from your past just bothers you and makes you re-live these terrible feelings. What do you do to help yourself cope?

Warmest Wishes,
Jasmine

 

[jaccat]

It's a struggle. My long term goal is to move away, but not until I'm ready otherwise it's just running away.

I think it helps for me to think a lot of those people don't actually know anything about me. And a lot of them have moved on in their lives and are different people themselves. Logically I know there's very few of them who see me and think about how stuff was.

It doesn't always help. I've a load of negative associations with place too. But there I can at least try and work on reclaiming those for now. Creating new, positive memories in them that mostly override the old ones.

But when I find myself getting too hemmed in the best thing is to get out, go somewhere else. Even if it's just the next town over for a few hours it helps, just to clear my head. A few days away is the best thing of all.

 

[Nevermore]

I feel this way too. And the town I live in isn't all that small!
For 2 or 3 years after my own trauma I was drinking wasaaay too much, I suppose I was probably an alcoholic. I didn't really interact with anyone, but I was always drunk. It really embarrasses me now.
I wanted to move from this town/ from this house, but I think it must be the PTSD that makes that hard! The fears of "out there" outweighed the strong desire to move and get away.
I agree with jaccat that other people are more involved in their own lives than spending too much time thinking about anyone else's life - and the terribly critical or judgmental ones I'm happy they keep their distance anyway!
I used to really struggle with this. The urge to leave was so strong! But the desire for safety was stronger.
And even though everything happened here, this is my town. I needed anything familiar, and in the end I'm glad I got over my sense of shame (mostly). (-:

 

[ShodokanJenn]

For me, it's the opposite. We moved from a town of 86,000 to a town of 2,000. We know so many of the people we see around town, and I love it. We know all of our neighbors by name. We know our pharmacist (and our pharmacist knows us). We don't have to give our names to the receptionist when we go to the doctor; just walk up and say hi, and she knows who we are and who we are there to see. The mechanic. The veterinarian. The gas-station clerk. Our insurance agent. It's fantastic to know and be known. But it's not for everyone. There is a vulnerability involved. And there are times when news gets out about people that probably would stay secret in a larger town.