So called confident people.....

[Freida]

yea--if you have to bark at people to show confidence its an act. And you are right not to fight back because people like that are not sable. Y

 

[Tinyflame]

Aw @Rain , :hug: .

Well granted it's not always preoccupied with the kindest thoughts to myself, etc, but yes I'm far too disorganized/ afraid/ triggered/ busy/ have something I'd like to accomplish/ aware anything could go off the rails in the worst way imaginable or even unimagined, to be confident of anything.

 

[Freida]

@Junebug -- you are confident. Because when this...

I'm far too disorganized/ afraid/ triggered/ busy/ have something I'd like to accomplish/ aware anything could go off the rails in the worst way imaginable or even unimagined,

happens you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep right on moving. Darlin - that is confidence.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@PURUSHA Ther are all kinds of people in the world. Passive, aggressive, loud and obnoxious, subdued and laid back. There are those that are submissive, leaders, followers. I could go on and on about the temperament and the characteristics of people, but the bottom line is, we are all different.

I’ve always been outspoken and tactless, it’s just who I am. I get myself in more trouble than I look for because of this, but it’s ok, I’ve learned this is who I am. I have toned down a bit thru the yrs but not much.

Being aggressive doesn’t make you better. It doesn’t make you anything other than aggressive. You’re not weak because your not aggressive or assertive, you are YOU!!!!! You’ve probably always been this way. Stop trying to be something that your not. You’d be better off spending that time working on your trauma then trying to change a part of you that you really can’t change. You’re fine the way you are!,,,

 

[Tinyflame]

Oh Dear @Freida , I don't if it's about myself, because I don't feel I have the worth, and it's more proof of it , (cog distortion or not). I only do it if it impacts on others, eg I have a financial responsibility to them, or other, Left to my own devices and only myself I would have killed myself likely long ago. But, you know, we don't always have choices, limitations don't make for confidence but what choice is there, if it impacts on others.

Also, I just don't consider myself that-great-shakes as the saying goes, so I have zero expectation of falling in to the 'acceptable' category so I don't care to aim for it. God- I've got enough to deal with. :(

 

[Rani G2]

Stop trying to be something that your not. You’d be better off spending that time working on your trauma

The thing is, I am assertive and I can be aggressive....but, and there lies the problem...there is a part of me that says, you are NoT strong enough.

So, yes I need to work on my Trauma rather than changing one Bravour, thats just camouflaging...

Bravour

Meant behaviour

 

[Starfish]

The approval thing I need that often because, "I can't get that from myself." So you (I) seek it in others or from others.

i am getting this about myself. that is why it has been so hard for me. i never developed skills to take care of myself so my mind is always devising ways to get approval, trying to be very subtle. it is not working for me anymore. I have busted myself. It is said that awareness is the beginning of healing.
I am gonna run with that. now that i'm aware, i am so embarrassed at all my devices to get attention. i understand where it comes from and i know it is not my fault