To say I'm discouraged would be putting it so pc. First, haven been thru DBT twice, and well educated in borderline personality disorder, I get why I feel this way. Does it make me feel any better or less distress? No. Not at this time. In fact, the timing sucks. Over the last few months, I allowed my t to figure out there's more than just me in here because the disassociation has gotten overwhelming. It is only her that is figuring out the depths of it, the history etc. After we meet, "we" as in one of our parts calls at least 2x to ask a question or tries to figure what the hell is going on, literally. So its not as if I see her and all is well and see her next week. I don't have the option of staying in contact during her break as suggested. But this anticipation and abandoned feeling is all too familiar ever since I was young and I hate it and I can tell "us" the same thing over and over but it doesn't change anything. I just am discouraged.
Also, very disgusted over this entire sh/% show of which I have to be generic. I've tried finding a counselor for my 10 yr old stemming from being a victim of sexual assult, yes my worse nightmare came true. A place and person I was led to believe was safe and kind, never again, anyone. I've called countless people and been told they have no openings or because its a legal case all of a sudden, their also full, lie. I can't help but feel wronged by the system, as if I did something wrong. And of course, this situation only enhanced mine of which started coming out prior to the release of this information. And its not done on the legal side either. I do not want my child to be failed by me or the system as much as I want to raise the white flag high in the sky because, I was and look where I am today. I'm spinning in circles, with everything.
Also, very disgusted over this entire sh/% show of which I have to be generic. I've tried finding a counselor for my 10 yr old stemming from being a victim of sexual assult, yes my worse nightmare came true. A place and person I was led to believe was safe and kind, never again, anyone. I've called countless people and been told they have no openings or because its a legal case all of a sudden, their also full, lie. I can't help but feel wronged by the system, as if I did something wrong. And of course, this situation only enhanced mine of which started coming out prior to the release of this information. And its not done on the legal side either. I do not want my child to be failed by me or the system as much as I want to raise the white flag high in the sky because, I was and look where I am today. I'm spinning in circles, with everything.
