Somatic Pain/memories And Trauma

[Maggiemay]

I can't process the trauma... no one will help me as I'm seen as too big a risk and unstable because of how acutely my body reacts :'(

I don't know how to ground myself in my body (I understand grounding but can't do it) & determining if real or imagined is very blurred. ..

 

[safenow]

I don't know how to ground myself in my body (I understand grounding but can't do it)

If you don't mind me asking, Can you explain why you can't do any grounding? What type have you tried in the past and what happens when you've tried?

There are several different methods of grounding.

 

[Maggiemay]

I do the whole trying to stay present in the moment by naming objects/sounds/smels textures etc. I can do it when low level dissociation, but struggle during flashbacks & panic attacks as not in touch with rational brain and ver distressed.

 

[safenow]

[DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/how-it-all-began.30110/page-10#post-499347[/DLMURL]

Try that and see if it makes a difference for you. It works for me and others I know. If it doesn't, let me know. I know of others.

Those people who tell you are too much for them, I can relate to. Many medical doctor's aren't willing to do certain tests on me because I'm so intense, and since I have many personalities, they are afraid to release them. But not to worry, you will get the help you need. It will come to you when you are most ready for it.

Anyway, check out that link.

 

[Maggiemay]

Thankyou :) I have same issue with dr - T thinks I'm epileptic but dr says tests will be putting my body under too much stress. :(

X

 

[Maggiemay]

I'm going to write that out. Issue is, when I'm mid episode I won't remember it or where to access it, vision blurs so won't be able to read it, I'm totally irrational and not present in the moment. I need to stop this hell somehow ...

 

[safenow]

Tape record it, then all you have to do it hit a button.

Don't give up.

Why dont' we try it right here, right now. Are you willing to do that? All you need to do is write your answers.

Fill in the blanks:

Right now (you) (are) feeling _________________
(insert name of the current emotions, usually fear)

And (you) (are) sensing In (your) body ____________________
(describe your current bodily sensations – name at least three)

Because (you) (are) remembering _______________________
(name the trauma by title only – no details)

At the same time. (you) (are) looking around where (you) (are) right now in _______________
(the actual current year)

Here _______________
(name the place where you are)

And (you) can see ______________________
(describe some of the things that you see right now, in this place)

And so (you) know _____________________
(name the trauma, by title only, again)

Is not happening now/anymore.

 

[Maggiemay]

I like the idea of recording it:)


Right now I am feeling fragile, vulnerable, exposed, threatened, exhausted.

And I am sensing In my body discomfort, fatigue, palputations, pain.

Because I am remembering childhood sexual abuse.

At the same time I am looking around where I am right now in 2013
Here in my flat.

And I can see my television, my computer, my guinea pigs, my coffee table.

And so I know childhood sexual abuse

Is not happening now/anymore.

:) Thankyou

 

[safenow]

You are very welcome.

Don't forget to breathe.

 

[Only 1 of me]

Wow safenow thats really helpful, I will use it too.

Maggie may my psychiatrist tried to tell me that I couldn't change psychiatrists because 'no one else will take you now in the state you are in' last time I was an inpatient (I had asked for a second opinion). Fortunately I had some feisty friends who held my hand and made me stand up for myself with the hospital and get a new doctor. It took the new guy 1 appointment to suggest PTSD and refer me for assessment. I'd been seeing the other guy for 6 months!

Sometimes when people tell us we aren't ready we have to listen, and sometimes they are just wrong. In my opinion only you can really know if you are ready and able to process. A good therapist can help you get safe enough to do the work you need to do. I'm lucky to have found one, and although I am impatient we are going slowly in the right direction. I dont know if you do hugs, but if you do I'm sending a virtual 'side-a-long' hug for a fellow traveller...

 

[Maggiemay]

Ahhh thanx Only 1 of me :)

I do virtual hugs :) teehee! I don't think however ready I am (feel like I want and need to process right now) anyone will help me. :'( It feels current therapist is working on making me safe and contained, but with no aim now to touch trauma based stuff. In fact, when we got close on Monday, she deliberately closed the conversation down and stuck to the boundary of not addressing trauma. Which, as I said to her, is so hard for me as it is forever present right now...

*sigh* I just want to stop feeling like I'm back there, like I'm young, fragile & vulnerable :'( I don't know what I can do to help myself anymore ; ( All I want is wellness but it's seems out of my reach...