Hi jenr
Meditation with Aromatherapy is a good way to start, though it does take time and practise. Lavender seems to be the best one to start with or maybe Rose, as they both have a calming scent. There are others, just be careful you don't pick a stimulating one if you decide to use Aromatherapy.
If you are new to this then it will be best if you just try it for a few minutes to start with, building up to 20 minutes. There are a lot of different techniques you can use, but it is best to try different ones until which way suits you best. I find the best way is to have soothing music playing quietly in the background, no words to it just music. American Native Indian music can be really relaxing though some would say it is too intense to start out with, but it is very rhythmic which makes it easier to relax into. There are a of Cd's on the market, but choose one that is specific for meditation or you could end up with something that stimulates your mind too much, I made that mistake once myself LOL.
If you have some time alone, maybe just 1/2 an hour a day where you will have no interruptions from anything. Unplug the phone and lock the door, then try it out, and keep trying it you will manage to find some peace but like I said it does take time and practise.
As for NOT caring sometimes, I think we all go through that and just want to run away from all this entails. We keep going and doing things like this is a big help to us as carers and our sufferers. Sometimes we have to put our selves first, so we CAN keep caring for them, not that we always manage it, but we should.
I hope this helps you a bit more.
Amethist