Someone Called Me "i Am Good For Nothing And Of No Use"!!!

[Deleted member 1860]

Its interesting how you bash other Indians yet the words you use to describe them are words that I think are safe to say could be used to describe you as well. Food for thought.

ie intolerant and full of jealousy.

Before anyone bashes me, I have chatted with the OP privately, so yes, I have seen both of these characteristics come out in her. (Before anyone says "well I've never seen her post anything like that....")

 

[bell]

To be honest, his activity was almost negated by some of your own words. I like this place because it is free of attacks on people based on their heritage and although I'm not Indian, reading such negative thoughts about a race is disturbing and unwelcoming.

Be angry at the person, not his genetic makeup.

Edited to add: It seems like you have enough legitimate things to be angry at; however, by attacking a group of people you are pushing others (possibly of all different groups) away from helping you.

 

[Dana1010]

Hmmm. I don't know about NZ, but here in the states, it seems like employers are just raring to hire Indians for some reason. They are perceived to be smart, I guess. Europe is beginning to experience "Muslim fatigue" (I know NZ isn't in Europe, but there are similarities). You might want to (subtly!) make sure employers know you are Indian and not Muslim (sometimes the names sound similar). It's not my intention to offend anyone, but it can't hurt to be extra realistic with the job market the way it is.

 

[bell]

@Dana1010 In my opinion, it's generalities like these that make all Americans look like jerks to the rest of the world. And I don't know about other languages, but how in English does "Indian" sound like "Muslim?"

And I'm surprised that hardly anyone else mentioned the fact that such a hateful reaction to a hateful interaction is both unhealthy and wrong on many accounts. One hateful encounter does not make a hateful reaction okay.

@J_trustno1, I've seen you posting about being frustrated before with healing... What about targeting the anger that is so clearly trying to destroy you? I have no doubt that you are stronger than it, don't let it tear you apart. Take that negative energy and channel it in another direction via exercise (which you have mentioned works), a hobby, martial arts, playing loud music, whathaveyou. Working through it only makes you stronger and more compassionate, which are both wins on all accounts.

 

[Hashi]

Well said, @bell

@Dana1010 I'm afraid you aren't busting any negative myths about American cultural sensitivity.

I'm having trouble putting what you said together with the fact that Indian is nationality and Muslim is a religious affiliation. They aren't mutually exclusive.

I'm not even going to go there with "Muslim fatigue", Europe as a single entity, or advice to play up to perceived prejudice.

But then this is a thread where @J_trustno1 started off by referring to "bloody INDIANS" and I find that more offensive.

 

[Dana1010]

@Hashi, if @J_trustno1 is Indian herself, who are any of us to tell her the phrase, "bloody Indians" is offensive? Have a sense of humor. By "Muslim fatigue", I mean there are questions surrounding mass immigration of Middle Eastern people who practice Islam. I see that the Front National has won in France, as well as UKIP in Britain. Also, the tragedy in Rotherham with the pedophile ring not being reported because witnesses feared accusations of racism was big news. In the states, there is a feeling that some countries in Europe are quietly developing unrest with multiculturalism and Islam in particular - perhaps we are mistaken.

Middle Eastern and Indian surnames are sometimes easy to confuse, at least for me.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

@J_trustno1 You know my husband is Indian and I am Caucasian. In the 6 years we have been together I have never heard him say he wanted his skin a different color but I know all about the Indian obsession with skin color and how other Indians will judge other Indians for their light or dark skin color and that is what you did.

I happen to agree with @bell. Why are you adding to the prejudice? And also...

The more i am trying to NOT hate the bloody INDIANS the more horrible experiences I am getting from such people.

You do realize there are 1.2 billion people just in India right? And that's not including those Indians living outside India like yourself. And I know you have not met them all. You can not judge all Indians so harshly.

I wonder how comfort you are with being Indian. Are you okay with being Indian?

 

[Tanishq]

Yes, I have seen that where J_trustno1 does lot of anger. Now I can see why there is so much hatred.

You will not be punished for your anger,
you will be punished by your anger ~ Gautam Buddha

Gautam Buddha also said something like anger leads to hate and then hate leads to suffering.

Hope she is able to cut down that anger and channel it, otherwise it will harm her only.

 

[J_trustno1]

@Ayesha : I have lived with Indians for last 26 yrs of my life. All I have seen growing up is hate, jealousy, domestic violence, male dominance which I cannot tolerate, male superiority, my voice been stepped on each time I tried standing up! The guy that told me that i am useless was also an Indian, now tell me how does he differ from my father or my mum's asshole brother? I had to see an Indian doctor last year because of my depression, guess what he said once he found out about my childhood sexual abuse? He told me "NOT to sleep around!!!" This is how all Indians operate which i by making you feel shit about yourself! Hell, I NEVER received a compliment from my father no matter how well I did in school, all I was told was I am "Dumb and my brother is smart!". He is the same father who strangled me when i was 10 yrs old kid and tried killing my mother multiple times! Who do I blame? Yes, I hate being an Indian because I am linked to those nasty assholes! I was mloested by an Indian, I was forced into labor by an Indian, I was physically, emotionally and verbally assaulted by Indians, who the HELL do you think is responsible for this?? They are all Indians that have done the damage NOT any other race or culture!

I hate being an Indian and I wish I could change it! And too bad if you ban me from this forum because you cannot change my view towards Indians based on your reality. You were lucky enough to meet probably 1 out of that horrible 1.2 billion population but you have NOT met the rest of the population and met the rest of the Indians. Please go and do your survey about domestic violence in India or in Indian families then come and blame me.

 

[Tanishq]

@J_trustno1 I don't know why but I feel Ayesha is trying to tell you,"Don't hate those whom you don't know." We can understand why you hate those who are around you, but please don't hate everyone. Ayesha is lucky to meet that Indian because she didn't hate everyone. I don't think she is blaming you either. People are trying to support you to pull out from that extreme anger.

From my side I will say this:

Hate can close down the doors for your healing.
Love can open the doors for your healing.
Now choice is upto you. Choose wisely.

My dad never complimented me. I do know he will never change himself. You know since I have started moving on from him, things started clicking. I am finding more effective coping tools. I guess this is why I am able to meet good people on this site.

 

[Nicolette]

@J_trustno1 while you have endured a lot of bad experiences from people who are Indian I respectfully request that you do not over step the mark and become racist and prejudicial upon this forum as your comments are definitely bordering upon it. You have not met the 1.2 billion population and cannot speak about 'all' Indians.

They are all Indians that have done the damage NOT any other race or culture!

This is factually untrue based on the thousands of members here alone who have been abused by others who are not Indian. Please do not generalise.

And too bad if you ban me from this forum because you cannot change my view towards Indians based on your reality.

We are not here to change your views however it is not your place to force your opinions down the throats of others.

 

[J_trustno1]

But I don't know how to not hate Indians. Why am I meeting people like that toxic neighbor or that doctor I met last year :(. Why can't Indians have nice things to say? They always bring me down with their negativity. I don't understand how not to dislike them. Even when i am at the gym, I distance myself from Indians because I automatically assume that they will have something horrible to tell me. You know I gave up my yoga class because there were all other Indians doing yoga in that class and I was feeling that the guy will be pervert, women in that class will be full of jealously and negative comments or nosy like others i have met.