Something Happened This Morning That Really Scared Me

[Marlene]

This morning I was sitting at a stop light in the left turn lane while taking my daughter to school. In the traffic that was running perpendicular to me there was a pickup truck trying to make a left turn. There was also a crosswalk with a bunch of high school kids crossing the street with the green light. The guy in the pickup truck seemed to be more interested in beating the traffic than in avoiding the kids in the crosswalk. I saw him start his turn and from my perspective it looked like he was getting ready to run over a couple of teenaged boys. It was just sunrise and all I could think was ‘He doesn’t see the kids’ and ‘He’s going to hit them’. These thoughts kept running through my mind and when he got to the point where I knew he was going to run the two boys over (he didn’t…he went by just after they passed) it felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach. This all took about 10-15 seconds to happen.

All day long I’ve felt pretty badly. Cold, tired, achy. All I want to do is go to bed and sleep. My stomach’s been upset most of the day. My concentration is shot, my color is almost completely washed out. I haven’t felt like this in quite a while. I keep trying to push through it, but that’s not working. I understand what my body’s going through and why, but what’s blowing my mind is that something that really had no direct affect on me, that I just happened to look up at the right second to see this IS having this affect on me. I guess it scared me more than I thought at the time.

Lisa

 

[mouse]

Hey Lisa,
That would be a scare especially if you thought they were going to get hit from your view point, I can understand the physical feelings you are having I have had them before now at my current job when things turn bad, and before. I know it sounds un sympathefor tic but IMO those are natural reactions for someone, anyone to have when they think somebody might get hurt and they are going to witness it, I have dealt with those very same emotions with many people who witness car accidents.

Give yourself a break as much and as hard as those physical, and emotional feelings are they need to happen in order for you to move on. Talking about it should help, don't keep it inside, its good that you were able to post about it Im here to listen if you like you can PM me anytime or email me. I know its hard but you'll make it and the feelings will lessen with Time.
-Mouse

 

[Damiea]

yes things like that happen to me also.. especially when its with kids. I think there is some gut reaction that is instinct for us to try and prevent harm in others... not everyone reacts to a sharp intence fear that way but some do! I havn't had any lasting physical affects last very long after like you have but every one is different. I have had that sharp gut wrenching pain as I see something that I THINK is going to happen!

 

[Marlene]

Thanks mouse and Damiea,

I felt badly until that night. Then things eased off and went away. I've seen lots of car crashes before, but never a person hit by one. And I just knew there these two boys were going to be hit and there was nothing I could do from where I was to stop it.

Mouse-you didn't sound unsympathetic at all. A lot of info from someone who's been there helped me a lot. I did notice that after I told my husband what I saw that a few hours later everything eased off. Before that I had written what I posted, but didn't talk to anyone about it.

Damiea-it might have been because they were kids that it hit me so hard. I have a 19 and a 15 year old at home. Plus I taught for nine years. So kids have always been very important to me. I'm just so glad that I was wrong that they were going to be hit.

Lisa

 

[mouse]

Lisa,
Way to go talking with hubby Im sure helped lessen the feelings a bit, its always a tad easier once you share your feelings with someone else. take care.

 

[Marlene]

its always a tad easier once you share your feelings with someone else

Yeah, it is.
Thanks, mouse.

 

[becvan]

Just wanted to say that the same thing would have happened to me. I would have shaken so hard that I would have to pull my truck over. Stuff like that throws me for major loops.

Hope your feeling better soon.

bec

 

[Marlene]

Thanks, Bec. I am feeling better. And you're right, it threw me for a real loop. My reaction was totally unexpected. And it's the unexpected stress that really does a number on me.

Lisa