Sorry I Have Not Been Here, My Husband Finally Died At Home.

[Deleted member 12723]

I am having such a hard time adjusting to being without my husband. We have been together through so much. I do not know how I got through+

I am dealing with the aftermath. It is so hard. I really appreciate the support. It means so much so much to me. I feared this loss of my husband. I thought I would have him for years to come. It all happened too fast.

I talked to my daughter on the phone and she had cried for me knowing what I am going through. I will have a hard time this winter living alone.

I hate living here. I have always hated living here. It Is the last home I will live in. It has too many rules here. I miss my mountain cabin. I wish I still lived there.

I did not know I would end up stuck here. I thought I would have my husband for so many years. The dementia took him away from me.

I miss him so much I am trying to rebuild my life. It has been three months. I hate that it takes time to heal.

 

[Queen Boudica]

(((((((Gizmo))))))).

I'm sorry you don't like the place you are living in. Maybe that is something to think about? Maybe look at moving if that is possible? Too many memories in a place you hate living in. Is it possible you could afford to move out somewhere nicer and before winter sets in? That may give you a project to keep you occupied and some hope, a new start.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Lizio, that is a very good idea. I am not ready to move yet. I still have some things I have to do first. I am still caught up in changing things over into my name.

I think it would be better before winter hits. The girls do not want me to move. They love being able to come over here. It is nice to have my own home.

I cannot afford to move into another place. I would have to move in with my daughter. It would be crowded and I would have to get rid of my animals. I am not ready to make any big decisions right now. It is a very good idea though.

 

[Tanishq]

Big Hugs to you Gizmo. I understand. Right time will come for you to make right decisions.

 

[wicked child]

[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[gizmo]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am doing ok today. Thank you for the hugs. I want to be able to stay in my own home. The grandchildren do not want me to sell this place. It is a safe place for them.

The grandchildren did so much yard work for me. It looks a lot better now. They cleaned up all of the mess.

Tomorrow I will go to my friends house and bring my family. On Friday I have my first therapy appointment.

Then on Saturday and Sunday I will go over to my daughters house. She is being so supportive of me. I love going over there for the two days. It gets me out of the house for a couple of days.

I am so happy that my week has been so full. I try to fill my days with activities. Next week, I will get my dog groomed, I hope to find a group to go to.

I think I am getting used to being alone. I am not missing my husband too much today.

Thank you for your cpntinued support. It means so much to me.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I have a lot of things to do today. I hope I accomplish them all. I have been busy this week.

I am slowly getting used to living alone. I am very depressed now. I was feeling so much better earlier today. I miss my husband .

I did not know at the end that my husband was dying. I was so burnt out and exhausted at the end.

I do not know how I got through the past three months.

Living alone is quite the adjustment. I am slowly getting used to it. I miss my husband so much.

I am in therapy again to deal with the grief. I find it helps to talk about it. It will take time to heal. I wish the time had already passed and I did not have to go through this. It is so hard.

I am doing so many things I was not doing before when he was alive. I am being flooded with memories of how bad off he was. I was better off remembering the good times I had with him.

I will be getting a late start on the day, but I have a lot to do today. I will feel better getting out of the house.

I hope to have the girls next week. They will be going back to school soon and I will not see them so much. I dread the winter coming. I think we are having a early fall, it has not been so hot.

I take vitamin d and use daylight bulbs in my lamps. It helped a lot last winter but I also had my husband. I am dreading the holidays. I know I should decorate but I sure do not feel like it.

I am still so burnt out and exhausted from the caregiving.