Speak - The Movie. Awful Night.

[Lady of Longbourn]

I don't know how many people here have had the nerve to watch the movie Speak. Well..for some reason I did last night...And I completely broke. Complete panic attack, and just cried and cried. My husband was freaking out because of how I reacted, He kept yelling "I'm going to call 9-1-1 ...I'm going to call 9-1-1.!!" I just told him to " Get the **** away from me!" I had called him to me ( he didn't watch the movie) I thought he would comfort me, but he just freaked out.

It was me! Expect for the end where she talks but...everything else was me! I was an outcast to, and even though I had a boyfriend, he was the one doing it all. I mean I would get raped one night, then go to school the next. I felt everything in that movie. I understood why she screamed in her closet, why she had the hidden closet ( i had a hidden place too). There were hundreds of people around me, and I told NO ONE. Because I had no friend's, and people treated me differently too. I could see my face in her's in the movie, not getting enough sleep, something obliviously wrong but no one bothered to ask.

It was totally awful to see it on screen, that that was how I must have looked, and acted. That's how I felt and saw things. Even the rape scene, I remembered I used to hit his back too.

I can't explain anymore...I saw myself different after that movie. My world changed and at the same time made more sense.

 

[Artista]

Sounds like a step to desensitizing (although it is an odd word we use... seems to take forever doesn't it? I used to think it a positive word. Not so much when you are in it.) I know that some things I happened across on TV jumped on me and flew me right into my own flashbacks, but then again nothing has been so exact for me. It must be soooo surreal to watch something so closely related! I can't imagine the way it would trigger you....

Feel for you. Did some of it seem to help in a way???

 

[PTSDT]

Speak is a very intense movie. It upset me very much when I watched it a few years ago and I did not experience it in reality. Movies help me with releasing emotions of all kinds. My significant other has been willing to read some books and some of the stuff for the carers on this site to try to figure out how to help me. Asking for what I need is extremely difficult for me. But, when I sent him information, he read it. And he is getting a book from the library that has a section for family and friends. I know this is a reply to an old post. I hope you are OK.

 

[Rydia]

This is an old thread, but all the same... on the subject of triggering movies--
I just watched (or started to watch) Look Both Ways. I didn't really know what it was about, but someone I knew liked it, and I usually trust her opinion on movies. Probably like, 20 minutes into the movie I started feeling intense anxiety and fear and just thought, what the HELL? Why am I feeling this way? And then I realized it was the horrible movie that was triggering me. I felt angry that the night was ruined.
I watched Toy Story 3 and felt a little better though :p

 

[Kintsugi]

God, I've seen so many triggering films. One of the worst reactions I've had was just a few months ago, though. It was one of the last episodes of the series Firefly. There is a scene where a man completely disempowers and demoralizes a female character who happens to be played by my favorite actress in the darkest days of my early PTSD year (when I was about 13 or 14) and also when I was in an abusive relationship. Something about all of those connections made it so awful. He doesn't actually wind up raping her, just tying her up and making her believe that he is about to. I didn't get that far into the scene. I totally flipped out. In front of a friend who knew nothing, too. I think he thinks I'm totally batty from all of the crap he's seen me pull with no explanation. >.< He's just around a lot but not empathetic enough for me to disclose.

Anyway, I very much understand. Total meltdown. I didn't throw a total fit complete with long flashbacks and yelling, but I did flashback and just sort of ran to my room covering my mouth to stop the sounds of my sobbing. Thankfully, my fiance came after me and comforted me.

 

[Rydia]

Ugh. So sorry you had to go through that.
I love Firefly, but there are definitely some scary, triggering things about that series.

 

[ronin47]

Gosh, that had to have been so awful to go through. I bet you're still felling the after effects. Honestly I've never even heard of the movie Speak. I did however watch one movie recently, The Black Swan, that was very triggering for me. The basic plotline is that a perfectionist (like eating disorder type of perfectionist) ballerina is cast in the duel role of the Swan Princess. She must play both the White Swan, a sweet and innocent virgin girl, and her twin sister the Black Swan, a wicked, maurading seductress. And in her perfectionist effort to personify these two polar opposite characters, she, in a lack of terms, goes insane. The thing about it that really struck a cord with me was the split personality/alter ego theme. It reminded me all too much of that little dark demon that lives inside of me and comes out to take control whenever I become self destructive. It isn't me...and yet...it is.

 

[Muzikluvr]

The Butterfly Effect.

I saw it when I was still trying to change my memories. Arguing with the people in the past. Trying to see a way out of what happened. Wishing I could go back and do things differently, punch them in the face, strangle Bully to death, stand up to my dad, tell my mom to f off, you get the picture. Sorry I went on so long.

Also, A Beautiful Mind

I watch it sometimes just to remind myself that life is worth living. I used this movie as motivation to start ignoring those intrusive thoughts.

Any movie where the protagonist is being set up, falsely accused, lied about, not believed, and especially if the movie ends badly... no resolution for the protagonist... I HATE THOSE MOVIES. I cringe all the way through in hopes of a happy ending and then I'm left feeling like it happened to me all over again.