StillPen
MyPTSD Pro
Does anyone experience this? If so, any specific techniques work for you?
I am dealing with body memories on a daily basis that are debilitating. The weird thing is, the more grounding I do and thus the more present I become, the more intense the body memories become. There is no pain involved, they are arrousal based. If I am happy and excited about my day, an upcoming event, etc., body memories. If I am sad, processing, grieving, anxious about anything, body memories. It is unrelenting. Where I can feel it on my body is based on which trauma that happened (trauma over a stretch of years, and one from an assault). If they are too intense, I dissociate and/or switch from part to part (DID), until I've rapid switched so much I just have to go to bed and sleep it off. If I do anything to alleviate the arrousal/body memories by myself, I feel horribly guilty, like I'm re-traumatizing myself to get physical relief. If I try to alleviate them with my husband, I start having flashbacks and switch to my littles (SO not good). I have talked to my T and we've done some CBT work on it but nothing seems to be helping. My parts are in this place where they have processed most of what they do remember, but know there are more details they (and I) do not remember and are afraid of remembering (they've journaled about it), so I feel confident that is playing a part in all of this. Before therapy, I just thought I got arroused at very strange times, but now recognize that they are body memories. If any of you can relate and have any suggestions, I would really appreciate the feedback.
I am dealing with body memories on a daily basis that are debilitating. The weird thing is, the more grounding I do and thus the more present I become, the more intense the body memories become. There is no pain involved, they are arrousal based. If I am happy and excited about my day, an upcoming event, etc., body memories. If I am sad, processing, grieving, anxious about anything, body memories. It is unrelenting. Where I can feel it on my body is based on which trauma that happened (trauma over a stretch of years, and one from an assault). If they are too intense, I dissociate and/or switch from part to part (DID), until I've rapid switched so much I just have to go to bed and sleep it off. If I do anything to alleviate the arrousal/body memories by myself, I feel horribly guilty, like I'm re-traumatizing myself to get physical relief. If I try to alleviate them with my husband, I start having flashbacks and switch to my littles (SO not good). I have talked to my T and we've done some CBT work on it but nothing seems to be helping. My parts are in this place where they have processed most of what they do remember, but know there are more details they (and I) do not remember and are afraid of remembering (they've journaled about it), so I feel confident that is playing a part in all of this. Before therapy, I just thought I got arroused at very strange times, but now recognize that they are body memories. If any of you can relate and have any suggestions, I would really appreciate the feedback.