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Stepdaughter & bombshell i have to get out!

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cntrymom08466

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Well, for a background, my kids father molested & raped them several years ago. I have been married to a wonderful man for 11 years. He had 2 children and I had 3. My ex had done things to 2 of my daughters, extensively to my oldest who is now 30.

Over the weekend, my stepdaughter, (who is 26) went to visit my youngest daughter's (who is 23) & her fiance, and they played cards I guess and drank extensively. (we don't allow drinking in our house really, because of my oldest daughter & her son lives with us and she is now 2 1/2 years sober) and my stepdaughter and her daughter lives with us as well. It's a full house lol.

Anyway, back to the weekend, during all the partying they were doing, my stepdaughter passed out. She also got sick either that night or the next morning anyway. Apparently her and her daughter, slept on the couch and she woke up at some point during the night and said that my daughter's fiance, his father's p**** was in her mouth. She doesn't remember a lot before that and her daughter was at the other end of the couch. I guess they had all been drinking. I don't know how much anyone else had been drinking. This same stepdaughter (who is gay she says) and has a daughter from a drunk night with her best friends' husband.

My husband (her dad) is the first one she told and he woke me up and told me last night, he couldn't sleep. Of course he still thinks of her as his baby girl. I'm not sure what to do. I'm thinking we need to let her handle this on her own. She was told by another friend she should tell us. I'm not sure why, she says she don't want to press charges on him, because of L(my daughter) it would probably destroy that relationship. My stepdaughter has previous sexual trauma from other men in her past, not family, and I just don't know what to think anymore. Brings up bad memories, but also I don't want to deal with it. Partly because of my past. Does that make me a bad parent? Sorry this is so long!
 
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Hi @cntrymom08466... That's awful... And sexual assault.

No you're not a bad mum... But to be honest you have 2 choices.. Tell her or don't tell her.
It doesn't matter everyone had been drinking. She was asleep.. It's sick.

Or confront him and tell him if he doesn't tell his fiance then you will.

Im sure you already are taking care of yourself stepdaughter... And I'm sorry your daughter is with a man like this...

A really difficult decision to make.. But remember usually the messager is shot. Blamed, not believed etc etc... Take care
 
Apparently her and her daughter, slept on the couch and she woke up at some point during the night and said that my daughter's fiance, his father's p**** was in her mouth. She doesn't remember a lot before that and her daughter was at the other end of the couch

This was something one of the 20-something’s said in their sleep/whilst drunk?

Her & her daughter... there was a kid there who says this happened that night whilst the adults sleeping? By your daughters fiancés dad?
 
I'm sorry everyone it's kind of like when I get to talking about something that's kind of upsetting and i confuse things and typing is different than talking and i wasn't sure about using people's names here which would make it easier to understand . I'll do this. Stepdaughter is 26 and we will call her DM and my daughter who is 23 we will call LT and her fiance is DC and his father will be DFC and my granddaughter is AJ. So DM told my husband last night that she had woke up from being passed out in middle of the night with DFC's p***** in her mouth. Now as I understood from LT DM and AJ had stayed on the couch that night. Now DM also had been pretty drunk. She has also been known to do things in the past while drinking. So unfortunately her dad and i really don't what to think. Not even sure if we believe her. Definitely don't know what to do?
 
So unfortunately her dad and i really don't what to think. Not even sure if we believe her. Definitely don't know what to do?
Ah so. So it sounds like either it was DM having a nightmare, since it’s unlikely that DFC would come a calling while there aren’t just other people in the room, but on the same couch... and it makes sense that she’d cast DC’s dad as the bad guy, because her own dad was the bad guy... or she may be trying to cover up getting frisky with DFC at some other time in the night?
 
No her dad wasn't the bad guy but there was somebody who did do something in that form when she was younger a teenager when she was in maybe middle school or younger and it was the kind of assault. That's what my husband, her dad, was wondering if it was a flashback or something else.
 
Im sorry i have been so confusing today. I'm so confused. My daughter was molested by their bio dad not my now husband. The kids bio dad is one of the reasons I have a lot of my problems. My husband and I don't really know what to do. We want to believe but we aren't sure and if it didn't really happen and we say something to LT it will destroy everything I'm afraid. DC really seems like a good man.
It kept running through my head today to let her DM figure it out. But tell her we love her but for her to be really sure what happened before she says anything to anyone. But it also makes me feel like we aren't supporting her. But it's a sticky situation
 
I guess maybe it's an uncomfortable situation for everyone here and I'm sorry about that and maybe people don't like how I'm handling it. I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing either. I have issues of my own too. I'm sorry for bringing it all up maybe I shouldn't have said anything. :( I just didn't know who to talk to? :(
 
@Zoogal I'm sorry. It is a very confusing messed up situation and I'm probably just going to have to deal with it. It just sucks when I'm messed up too. :cry:
 
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