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Strange Urges

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I sometimes get the urge to punch someone/something...I'd never act on it (unless, we're talking pillows) but I guess this is because of all that anger that's trying to find a way out...Still...I hate myself when I get like that (and then ge teven mor eangry!! ugh)

I will also get the urge to punch or slap whoever is closest to me at the time. Usually is my husband for some reason. I think it is because I am around him the most. We have a wonderful and very loving marriage and I would NEVER want to hurt him. I never have these feelings towards my son though. Now I feel like a weight has been lifted because I have NEVER told anyone about feeling these violent urges before. This is not something that began immediately after my trauma. It is a recent thing for me. It is unlike me to have any violent urges at all. I notice too that sometimes when driving I will get much more angry and feel those same violent feelings. I know it is something that I need to talk to my therapist about, it is just a scary thing to talk about.
 
Sometimes, when I'm really mad or frustrated, I'll slam the back of my head against the wall. It hurts, but then, I was hurting to begin with.

I've also been known to put a hand or foot through a wall, too.

My husband bought me a big punching bag, to take my aggression out on. Unfortunately, our house is over 100 years old, and the whole house shakes when I hit the bag. I'm afraid I'm going to break the house.
 
houses are easier to fix than concussions! ask yourself why self-harm is an option you take when you're angry or frustrated. I hope that your answer might be a part of your healing.
 
When I have a "strange urge", it's strange to others, but not to me. I used to be an active naturist. Do a Google on it or go hit AANR.com for more info. Nothing sick or perverted, but those that know nothing about it can only reflect on what little bit they know, even as minuscule as it may be.

So my urges have to be held in extreme check now, because of my record. It's even easier now to get arrested for the most minor and stupidest of crap.
 
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