General Stressed Out Caregivers?

[Dreamz]

Hi everyone, I'm new but have been lurking a long time..... Just wondering if anyone else has some input, I'm doing my best to research this topic on my own.

Has anyone had recurring nightmares/ intrusive thoughts from being a caregiver? It's been 3 yrs since my family member I was taking care of died, and I find myself mulling the whole thing over in my head nearly everyday. I'm aware care giving itself doesn't cause ptsd, but there's a handful of other traumas in my life that contribute to this whole ordeal.

I'm definitely looking into getting a T, but in the meantime just wondering if any of you lovely people can share your experiences, so I don't feel so alone lol! :-)

It's been 3 years, when does it stop feeling like this all happened yesterday?

 

[franciemarnie]

Hi Dreamz,

I for sure had intrusive thought as well as nightmares for years after my mother's death. I was the caretaker during her the years before when she had cancer.

I spent a lot of time wondering if I could have done things differently, better and admonishing myself when I recalled my behavior in stressed out times. I was so badly burnt out at the end. There weren't many articles back in '79 as to the burn out of caretakers.

I would have intrusive thoughts too and I have come to see that as a manifestation of my PTSD - and its hypervigilance.

It took me many years to recover from the caretaker experience, but that's not to say that would be true for everyone. I had untreated depression, PTSD, and burn out and was doing nothing to alleviate any of it with therapy, etc. because I just didn't know any better. I was like a walking zombie for years.

I think nowadays there is so much more out there on the stress of caregiving - during and after. I hope you find a lot of info. For sure you are not alone - and welcome from a former forum lurker too!!

 

[Bilby]

I have had, and still do, have intrusive thoughts about certain events (i.e. deaths) in my life (not related to being a care-giver).

That said, I have to admit, that being a supporter now, yes, I do have intrusive thoughts about certain things. They can be quite bothersome at times.

 

[amethist]

I have had and still do a times have intrusive thoughts that seem to take over my whole day.

Its only when I can get away from caring for a while and have something else to do away from it all that they stop.

I think it is part and parcel of being a carer and there is not a lot you can do about it, except for doing what they do and distract yourself.

 

[The Albatross]

I actually have had some reoccuring/intrusive thoughts about caring for my father-in-law who died last. There were some things about his home environment that didn't sit well with me. But I have to allow that the other people involved did the best they could, just as I did the best I could under delicate and difficult circumstances.

If it's been more than three years, you may be stuck in grieving. I would seek out some grief and bereavement counseling.

My own intrusive thoughts are rare, and often come up when stressed or anxious about our mother's, their debilities, and their ability to care for themselves.

Can you pin point what is going on when these thought crop up? I find it generally helpful when possible. It is a yellow flag for me now.

 

[ISupportHer]

I too have had times when I can't get away from the "what-if's" and thinking about things. I must admit that, for me anyway, time is a great healer. Things are better with the PTSD and that trickles down to me. I know that not everyone experiences that things being better but perhaps it can help just knowing that, for some at least, there can be improvement.

I think that recognition that there is a problem is a big first step. Like The Albatross mentions, looking at yourself to help understand your feelings is important. I do really feel that getting professional guidance can be important. Especially if it has been an issue for years. I know it's not easy but perhaps you can find guidance with a Therapist or someone trained to help people through these issues.

ISH

 

[Sunshine71]

So far Dreamz I haven't had nightmares however I have been as strong as I can for the past 3 1/2 years and the cracks are showing now for me.

I was tired after going to an event at the weekend however yesterday due to a big 'conversation' with hubby I couldn't face getting out of bed and finally got up at 2.30 in the afternoon. And annoyingly lost a day and feel wiped out today too.

Will crack on - what else can we do?

I hope all moves forward for you and maybe see if there is some counselling you can have too??

With love Sunshine xx