Hi, I don't really know where to begin but I like lists so I'll try to list my symptoms and then where I think this issue started from.
- Symptoms: I have had recurring nightmares + sleep paralysis for years and the common theme is that someone is always in the room with me stopping me from leaving and that no one can hear me when I call out for help. When this happens it's literally like I prepare myself for someone harming me/ killing me, like I tell myself that its going to happen.
- What triggered me to remember my past memories: Earlier on the year I went through an incredibly stressful time with exams and schoolwork and long story short I was diagnosed with stress induced psychosis. Since then my nightmares and anxiety have been getting so much worse so I decided to just sit down and sort of have a conversation with my brain to try and understand why i'm feeling the way that I am.
- What I remember to have freaked me out as a kid: When I was 6-7 years old I went to a friends house after school and she had 2 older brothers. We were in her room when they walked in naked and started dancing and shouting. The next thing I remember is being locked in their room with my friend and they were playing incredibly loud music and shouting super loudly, I have no recollection of what they said. The one thing that sticks with me is how my friend reacted, she was screaming and banging on the door for her mum. Ive never heard anyone scream like that before. I was frozen and incredibly scared. The next thing I remember is calling my mum to tell her I didn't want to stay longer and to come and pick me up.
I have also realised that I never stay in a room with a guy if the door is closed, I literally have a panic attack if this happens. I also play this game in my head where I try to predict peoples actions and if I get it wrong I get so angry at myself.
I guess my question is could this all be happening because of what happened in my past? is it even possible to have long lasting trauma/ ptsd from something like this?
Honestly this question is why I haven't reached out to a therapist yet because I feel like I'm being overdramatic.
- Symptoms: I have had recurring nightmares + sleep paralysis for years and the common theme is that someone is always in the room with me stopping me from leaving and that no one can hear me when I call out for help. When this happens it's literally like I prepare myself for someone harming me/ killing me, like I tell myself that its going to happen.
- What triggered me to remember my past memories: Earlier on the year I went through an incredibly stressful time with exams and schoolwork and long story short I was diagnosed with stress induced psychosis. Since then my nightmares and anxiety have been getting so much worse so I decided to just sit down and sort of have a conversation with my brain to try and understand why i'm feeling the way that I am.
- What I remember to have freaked me out as a kid: When I was 6-7 years old I went to a friends house after school and she had 2 older brothers. We were in her room when they walked in naked and started dancing and shouting. The next thing I remember is being locked in their room with my friend and they were playing incredibly loud music and shouting super loudly, I have no recollection of what they said. The one thing that sticks with me is how my friend reacted, she was screaming and banging on the door for her mum. Ive never heard anyone scream like that before. I was frozen and incredibly scared. The next thing I remember is calling my mum to tell her I didn't want to stay longer and to come and pick me up.
I have also realised that I never stay in a room with a guy if the door is closed, I literally have a panic attack if this happens. I also play this game in my head where I try to predict peoples actions and if I get it wrong I get so angry at myself.
I guess my question is could this all be happening because of what happened in my past? is it even possible to have long lasting trauma/ ptsd from something like this?
Honestly this question is why I haven't reached out to a therapist yet because I feel like I'm being overdramatic.