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Sudden Changes - Left Without A Therapist - Help!

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EmmaDancing

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Okay, so I know I haven't posted on here in a while, but there's been a lot going on.

Okay, so about a month ago I had to go to the ER from the group home I live in because I needed stitches. When I got to the ER, they doctor said I should go back inpatient instead of returning to resi, so they kept me in the ER for a freaking week (!!) while they figured out what to do with me. Then they said that the resi didn't want me back because I was too 'critical' - but my parents could take me home. (Because that makes sense, right?)
So I went home. I haven't lived at home in two years, and it's really hard to cope with the change; nobody has expected me to go home for a while; I'm not even enrolled in any school so I've just been sitting at home being depressed while DMH tries to 'figure it out'.
The thing is, my therapist at the group home was the first therapist I've ever really been able to trust and talk with; we had a really good connection. She was on vacation the week I went to the ER and the week after I first came home, which really sucked, but I kind of expected her to call or get in contact in some way when she got back. But she hasn't, and that makes me so mad because she knew how much I didn't want to go home, how much anxiety I had about being home, all that crap, and I kinda feel that if she hadn't been on vacation they never would've sent me home in the first place. And now she's been back two weeks and hasn't even tried to get in touch. Does she just not care? I thought she actually gave a shit about me but maybe I was wrong. How can she leave me in this situation that never even would've happened if she hadn't been away! I just feel really pissed and betrayed and I keep wondering how she'd feel if I killed myself while at home; would she give a shit then? Has anyone else been in this kind of situation?
 
How certain are you that she'd be able to reach you, or that she hasn't tried? If you haven't spoken with her, you really have no idea what's been going on, what she thinks/feels, or has been told. I can think of 50 reasons why she might not have called (from being told you'd run away, to wanting to let you settle in).

I just feel really pissed and betrayed and I keep wondering how she'd feel if I killed myself while at home; would she give a shit then?

If she cares about you she'd be sad for a little while, and then move on with her life. Killing yourself to get someone's attention -to be blunt- is stupid. If you want someone's attention? Call, visit, send an email.
 
:hug:EmmaDancing:hug:
First a couple hugs if okay...I'm sorry for what has happened with the ridiculous red tape you are going through.

I would say...give her a call letting her know what's going on. I know the paperwork/computer stuff that my therapist has to deal with is enormous, and catching up on a 2 week vacation would take a while. Her patient load is probably pretty high, and maybe she is waiting for you to make the call, or truly is very busy. It's much easier for her, and you to give her a call, leave a brief message, and your parents phone #, rather than her having to look up their number.

I know that my therapist would never call me, unless I initiated the call myself. Maybe that is how she works. If you truly made progress with her, I would give her the benefit of the doubt and call her (even tell her you are glad she got away) Being a therapist can be an overwhelming job...I know I couldn't and wouldn't even be tempted.

Blessings to you, I hope things will be better soon!
:hug: AKJ
 
I would say...give her a call letting her know what's going on. I know the paperwork/computer stuff that my therapist has to deal with is enormous, and catching up on a 2 week vacation would take a while.

Yeah, you're probably right...I know she does have a lot on her plate! I think I'm just overthinking this whole thing. Thank you :):hug:

if she cares about you she'd be sad for a little while, and then move on with her life. Killing yourself to get someone's attention -to be blunt- is stupid. If you want someone's attention? Call, visit, send an email
To clear that up, that's not why I want to kill myself, because I know that it's stupid; it's just another drop in the bucket.

Therapists won't usually call or contact clients because you as the client are in control. if you want to her to know how you're doing, or want to arrange a session you'll need to get in touch with her.
I know that's how outpatient therapists work, but she's not an outpatient therapist and I'm not in control; f*cking DMH is. I wish I could just set up an appointment! But it's not that easy.

I just hate myself for feeling this way and I feel like a coldhearted manipulative bitch this is why I don't make connections with people.
 
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okay idk what's going on clearly I don't know how to quote people sorry!

<Mod edit: please see this post -
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It sounds like you're having a really rough time of it, and I know group home/in patient stuff works a bit differently. Are there plans for you to go bak to the group home? If there are she may be waiting for your return or not be permitted to contact you while you're away. The only way to know what's going on with her is to get in touch. Could you pop her an email?
 
To clear that up, that's not why I want to kill myself, because I know that it's stupid; it's just another drop in the bucket.

I figured. But straws and camels. From experience. Sometimes a bad idea only needs one more thing, tiny little push, to make it seem like a good one. <grin> So it's a good idea to put a pair of cleats on and jump on bad ideas as they come up. Don't know about your brain, but my own comes up with so many bad ideas -hourly- that if I didnt go through periodically and jump on all the bad ones ... Well, my life would look very different. Brainstorming is a good thing, it's trying to think your way out of a problem, which will eventually get you out of a problem. But while burning down my house to avoid cleaning it (or fetching the neighbor lad to kill a spider, or because it's damn cold) may well be an idea or three I've had, just like killing myself to teach someone else a lesson? We try and nix those ones as fast as they pop up. Okay. Nope. That's stupid. Don't do that. Next! Nope that one is even more stupid than the last! C'mon brain! We need a win!
 
she's not an outpatient therapist and I'm not in control; f*cking DMH is.
She isn't in control either. You're being unrealistic to think that she can actually contact you. If you want to be proactive (and it sounds like you do), get in touch with your caseworker at DMH and ask for therapy to resume. Tell them you were getting good work done with her, and that if she isn't an option, you'd like to at least do a closing session.

I'm really sorry, because navigating the system is hard on top of everything else. But don't get those two things mixed up. One, the system is hard. Two, you would like some support and aren't sure how to get it. Let's work on number 2.
 
It might not be that easy for her either. There may be rules in place that prevent her from contacting clients once they have been discharged from the residential program.
Yeah, you're probably right, But I haven't been discharged! My bed is still open, they just won't let me come back!

It sounds like you're having a really rough time of it, and I know group home/in patient stuff works a bit differently. Are there plans for you to go bak to the group home? If there are she may be waiting for your return or not be permitted to contact you while you're away. The only way to know what's going on with her is to get in touch. Could you pop her an email?
Yeah, they're working on it. And I guess I will; if I can get ahold of her email - I don't have it and I don't think my parents do either, but I will ask. Thanks for the support :)

We try and nix those ones as fast as they pop up. Okay. Nope. That's stupid. Don't do that. Next! Nope that one is even more stupid than the last! C'mon brain! We need a win!
Haha yeah, I wish our brains would be a bit more realistic, it would make everything a lot easier! But alas, tis not the case. Brain, behave!

he isn't in control either. You're being unrealistic to think that she can actually contact you. If you want to be proactive (and it sounds like you do), get in touch with your caseworker at DMH and ask for therapy to resume
You're right - it is unrealistic to assume she has any more power than I do against the Powers That Be; I guess it's not her fault. I'm going to shoot my caseworker an email right now so that she'll read it Monday.

Thank you all for the support and for listening to be be a whiney little sh*t.
 
But I haven't been discharged! My bed is still open, they just won't let me come back!
I think, technically, you have been discharged. I'm only saying that because I once knew I would be missing three sessions of a PHP program, and they ok'd it, but had to discharge me and then re-admit me. It was a policy and liability thing.

Even though your bed is open - which is good, and hopefully things will work out so you can go back, if that's what you want - you're not using it, which means from their perspective, you are discharged. I'm glad you're going to get in touch with your caseworker. Don't be shy about asking her to explain all this stuff to you in a little more detail. If you're gonna be in the system, might as well learn more about how it works. It's never, ever, straightforward or intuitive - it's like learning a new set of rules. But knowing them will always help you!
 
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