Suicidal Thoughts Getting Out Of Hand

[Alaska_Fears]

For a few months now, I've been having suicidal thoughts.

I always hurt the people I love. I always make stupid mistakes. I hate myself. I have a skin problem and it's ruining my life. My flashbacks are getting worse.

You can tell me to seek help, I won't. I just won't. I just feel like venting I guess. I've been wanting to die so bad lately. Everyone would be better off without me. I want to die.

Everywhere I go, anything I do, I think about how easy it would be just to end it all. That way I won't have to cause anyone anymore pain. They'll get over my death soon enough. But at the same time I keep hoping things will get better. I just don't know how much longer I can keep up with life.

 

[xena21]

I'm sorry you feel like this. I don't have much to offer except that I know how you feel. I just got out of the hospital for suicidal ideation, and have tried to kill myself 5 times. I can tell you to go straight to seek help but if you're not willing than it won't matter. When you say nobody will miss you, that is wrong. People you have no idea that know you will miss seeing you for some reason or another despite your thoughts contrary to that. There are always people out there that miss others despite you thinking there aren't. Whether you had a bad upbringing and don't have family that are around or many friends at this point, there are others out there that have been touched by your presence in this world in some good positive way in THEIR lives and they will miss you. It will hurt them if you die.

I just wanted to let you know that. I've been reminded of it repeatedly myself. Hang on.

 

[Whitneys story]

I just feel like venting I guess.

Welcome to the Forum. Venting is a good start, I hope you stick around and find what the forum has to offer.
The wiki section has some great reading. Just my honest opinion you might find us a bit different. We do not judge.
Many understand what you are going through. Not many on the outside have a clue!

Take your time learning your way around. The New Member information is also very informative.

The following is the most outstanding explanation as to why things come up.
[DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/understanding-ptsd-by-anthony-parsons.13878/[/DLMURL]