Any loss of control (coz I’m all about that) brings it up. Panicked earlier after I’d written the diary, but small panic compared to yesterday. Prob because my choice to write, right, but not my choice to be triggered yesterday.
Swimming was bringing panic down but that’s a bust.
Def less stressed away from bully and friends, but brain still likes to tell me how shit I am. Blades tantalisingly close. f*ck.
Weirdly though writing on other thread has given me a bit of strength.
Maybe only partial f*ck up not full one :roflmao:
Hesitantly resurrecting a thread.
Planning again. Not good.
Missing E and it’s killing me. I need to speak to her and I can’t do that this side of life.
I can’t tell T it is this bad. I am scared of what they will say. I can’t keep bouncing back to this point. So at what point do I call enough?
Felt like this since Tuesday.
Fighting myself coming here to forum as pulling out of all situations with others IRL. Cancelled plans. Hiding alone in my room.
I am tired of feeling so overwhelmed.
Not in crisis. But. But. But.
Too many ghosts right now.