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Suicide the ultimate avoidance

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Less than full two now... countdown :ninja: You'll make it. Crying in the middle of it is very alright. Means you do so well - It's driving you to tears yet you *still* stick with it. Admirable.

No slapping yourself ;) You're helping people by letting us all know how's it going, and by showing others updates on bad & hectic days are alright to do.

Or: A++ Good Whine, want to hear all of them. ;)

Yeah, in betweens & wait ups & uncertainty are so anxiety spikeable and blah... on another hand, seriously good on you for going through the motions, in a forward direction.
 
You're welcome Osiris ;)

Lifelines are absolutely deserved, and don't *need* to be 'deserved'... Just need to be present. Glad to help and that you got through the day safely.
 
I think you’re dealing with a whole load of stuff yourself. Everyone here is. But you have taken the time to stand here and bear witness. Means a lot.
I am still here. Too exhausted to follow through on any plans, which I guess we take as a victory. Now drifting and trying to stay awake as long as I can to hold off nightmares.
Still I rise. Maybe.
 
Three hours sleep later and now wide awake.
I fell asleep clutching at a stone (real one....stashed a bunch around work and house for grounding purposes), a smooth jet black one from Timanfaya, appropriate given it’s from the fire mountains.
My brain continues to taunt itself. Rough old ride.
 
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
Can I not be done already. I’m tired of this.
Cannot deal with days/nights/hours of this. I just want to cut the noise for good.
 
Nah in those ways...

Cuts out more than the noise.
I'm all with you on f*ck that noise...
But f*ck off to the whole beauty soul that's you, just won't do.

What can comfort you right now?
 
Can you try to relax, if can't sleep? Soft or warm drinks or both, comfortable temperature and light / dark as most relaxing you can come up with, just breathing calmly?

Because it may not feel like it, but you are doing so good every day. Just by getting through the day. It's a lot.

Bad dreams don't take any of that real success away.
 
No... you are having a very normal and moderate reaction to having to work in a stressful environment with a person hurting you.

Not being fit for life at large has nothing to do with the problem you're having...

And that there IS that huge crossover is a sign you are dealing with trauma areas...

Also not *correct* signal to Go Die. Now. ;)

Some mighty bouncy mess. That's okay, I got a buncha of really silly conclusions from little details too.

The other day people panicking about viruses got me unsure what the f*ck status with Iran and if they're actually preparing for nukes and how on earth am I protecting anyone if I don't even know about a very obvious & declared war?!? *cue classic panic attack, haven't had one of these in halfa year*

... turns out was just lacking toilet paper rolls. Not a big problem at all. One to shrug at and get candy.
 
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