Support/need From Therapist

[Tinyflame]

I really have no idea.

Me neither.

If "I don't know how to answer that" is how it is, then that's the right answer...for now, at least...

Thank you.

we truly do not know...

That is true for myself as well.

Best wishes @jedijackie .:hug:

 

[Tinyflame]

"Typical behaviours .. include not asking significant others for what they need emotionally; not expressing a desire for love or comfort; focusing on asking the other person questions but saying little about oneself; acting stronger than one feels underneath.. acting as though they do not have emotional needs. Because these patients do not expect emotional support, they do not ask for it

This is me.

I think we are so used to not having needs met that we can't even begin to identify those needs

I do not recognize, or think of it, or know, or it's so hard to ask.

Unfortunately, it doesn't make me stronger or more resilient though, just numb or despairing or the opposite.

 

[Rumors]

I see a vast difference in what I NEED versus what I WANT. I have what I need, food, water, shelter. Therefore, asking for things that I want has always seemed selfish. As well, asking for things that I don't need has always been deemed selfish in my family dynamic.
My dad came from a family that was not fortunate. As a kid whenever I would express a desire for something, whether it be support or a new pair of shoes, it always came back around to how my dad grew up without all of those things so I began to feel ashamed for asking. Then one day I just quit asking for anything. No one ever noticed. Still don't however I am beginning to find my voice as it pertains to some things. As well, I am learning to understand needs as I raise my kid and listen to him. I never compare his needs to someone else's and I never say to him that I never got needs met at his age bc I don't want him to stuff his down like I did mine. He tells me when he needs a hug, moral support, help with homework, and a plethora of other things in his life. It is awesome! I am proud of myself for hearing him and in some small way his voice has now become my own.... I have learned a lot from him.

 

[Pencil]

What does emotional support even look like?

 

[Rumors]

I dunno, Pencil. I think of it as what I give my kid on a daily basis. It is a safe place to bring what is on his mind. It is a set of ears to listen to those things and a lot of love to bring him through it. It's good advice when called upon and an open mind without judgement when needed. It's all those things and more that we didn't get....

 

[No mama]

Mine has asked. I usually say "Huh?". He smiles and says that's not unusual.

I have been asked that a couple times when I thought my condition was only depression. I have been through dbt in the past and it helped a lot. But current times have brought a previously dead coercive control relationship back into my life with cps involvement and threats to terminate my rights. I now know, I have cptsd.

My answer in the past was that I wanted to incorporate the skills for a natural response rather than have to self analyze and adjust my response after the fact. I still want that now but my physical body has joined the party and my responses are so foreign, I don't know how to process them except to avoid and escape to my room.

With cptsd, I too have no idea. I just want my life back.

 

[Tinyflame]

I consider most things wants vs needs, & wants, which would include emotional support, were outside the scope of what I deserve or what I'd expect. But I think @Rumors defined what that is (in a beautiful way.)

 

[Crow]

Last time T asked I responded "tickets to Paris "